I work as a cashier and while usually I get sir'd I do sometimes get ma'am'd a lot (only on some days it seems) it really bothers me and I wonder is it worth it to correct the customer or to just deal with it till I start to look more masculine? If I'm checking out someone I know I usually tell them of my trans status but it's really uncomfortable when strangers are screwing up because I think I look male and them mis gendering me hurts. So
correct them or no?
If so how do you do it if you are in my situation?
Depends really.... safety/does it matter.
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As a cashier, how likely are you to see the same customers? If it's fairly often, just say something like, "Actually it's sir." If you never see the person again, does it really matter what they call you? In this economy, I'd be careful about correcting the paying customer. Even if it does hurt, I think it would hurt a lot more to get fired.
Quote from: Adio on March 02, 2011, 11:58:27 PM
As a cashier, how likely are you to see the same customers? If it's fairly often, just say something like, "Actually it's sir." If you never see the person again, does it really matter what they call you? In this economy, I'd be careful about correcting the paying customer. Even if it does hurt, I think it would hurt a lot more to get fired.
very actually. I live in a small town. I see the same people at least once a week but often times a lot more, some of them multiple times a day.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 03, 2011, 12:05:58 AM
very actually. I live in a small town. I see the same people at least once a week but often times a lot more, some of them multiple times a day.
I live in a small town too. If you feel the need and you feel safe, then I don't see a problem in disclosing your situation. Especially if you "know" your customers and can generally tell how they would react. Just be careful and make sure your co-workers/boss is on board with you.
Maybe you should all wear name tags?
If I may suggest, your priority is to make customers feel as confortable as possible, so they come back and spend their dosh in your store.
If they want to call you martian, provided they aren't being abusive, it really doesn't matter. What does, is that you are friendly and get their money. That way, your boss makes his profit and you keep your job.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 02, 2011, 11:21:07 PM
correct them or no?
If so how do you do it if you are in my situation?
Try:
if the perp is a woman, it's have a good day sir,
if it's a man have a good day Ma'am.
Give em a wink when they look at you quizically haha. Humour keeps me sane :)
Quote from: justmeinoz on March 03, 2011, 04:43:13 AM
Maybe you should all wear name tags?
We do. :/
Quote from: spacial on March 03, 2011, 08:38:14 AM
If I may suggest, your priority is to make customers feel as confortable as possible, so they come back and spend their dosh in your store.
If they want to call you martian, provided they aren't being abusive, it really doesn't matter. What does, is that you are friendly and get their money. That way, your boss makes his profit and you keep your job.
Actually it does matter. Just because they aren't acting "abusive" it matters. I can't do my job if I feel uncomfortable/ frustrated.
I can't do my job if I feel uncomfortable/ frustrated.
You're in real trouble then, the more money you want to make the more discomfort and frustration you're going to have to deal with.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 03, 2011, 12:07:18 PM
Actually it does matter. Just because they aren't acting "abusive" it matters. I can't do my job if I feel uncomfortable/ frustrated.
I understand. But working for a living is a lot like acting.
I spend most of my working life pretending to be a man. It pays better than the dole.
You just suck it in. It's all about getting the money.
If a job is really fun, it doesn't pay well. (Spacial's rule).
Of course it sucks, that's why I'm paying you to do it.
my first boss
When I first started T this happened but as time passed, it became less of of an issue. I'm a technical trainer so I do face the public often (I would stand outside of my classroom sometimes to see how they would label me). I never corrected them, even when it was uncomfortable. What you wear and your hair style can all be clues for them to latch on to. Do any seem to hesitate when calling you one way or another?
Quote from: Linus on March 03, 2011, 02:17:03 PM
e. What you wear and your hair style can all be clues for them to latch on to. Do any seem to hesitate when calling you one way or another?
Some call me ma'am but then make a sound like they are second guessing
some call me ma'am and then quickly correct to sir and laugh it off
some call me sir and the correct to ma'am in an iffy way
some just don't say anything
I dress in the male uniform and have completely male hairstyle and such. My voice hasn't dropped as much as I'd like so that might be part. hopefully i can get top surgery soon, after that I won't really care at all and will feel more confident and hunch less (I bind but still hunching makes me fee comfortable that the things are out of view)
Quote from: tekla on March 03, 2011, 02:03:30 PM
Of course it sucks, that's why I'm paying you to do it.
my first boss
So true, had it today from a junior tech. 'Why do I always end up doing this assay, it's a real s**t test to do' Reply, from another staff member, 'You are the junior and that's where the s**t lands'
Had to laugh.
Cindy
Maybe a really BIG name tag that says DAVE or something?? :laugh:
This is liberating or a total bummer, depending on who you are....
You have no control over other people, places or things. None. Zip. Nada. Now you can learn that now and work with it, or there is another place they teach that like it was gospel, and that's AA/NA. Because it's thinking you do have control over other people, places and things that gets you to AA/NA in the first place. Other people see what they see, you have no control over that. Often what they see is wrong. Which is how we elect a lot of the people we elect and why junk far outsells art. Nothing you can do about it except smile at them and carry on.
Spending your life worrying about what other people think, perceive and say is a nine mile skid on a ten mile ride and a waste of your life.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 02, 2011, 11:21:07 PM
I work as a cashier and while usually I get sir'd I do sometimes get ma'am'd a lot (only on some days it seems) it really bothers me and I wonder is it worth it to correct the customer or to just deal with it till I start to look more masculine? If I'm checking out someone I know I usually tell them of my trans status but it's really uncomfortable when strangers are screwing up because I think I look male and them mis gendering me hurts. So
correct them or no?
If so how do you do it if you are in my situation?
I would either just wait for T to do its magic or correct people by simply saying 'Thank you and it's 'sir' with a smile. Most people are mortified if they misgender someone, so it's important how you handle it. If they kept it up after being corrected once, I would just let it go. I would refrain from explanations of trans status; these people just want to get their groceries and get out of there.
If you're having to correct more than just the occasional person, I would just ignore the issue altogether and give the T time to work.
I'm not clear if its been said already, but the first rule is the customer is always right. Yes there are exceptions, but in this case if all they're doing is mis-gendering you either intentionally or unintentionally there's really nothing you can do about. Get bitchy and they complain. Your employer can terminate you and its not trans discrimination becuase your behavior is causing them to lose customers (money). They also have a pretty strong foundation to deny you unemployment then as well.
If its really uncomfortable for you, find a new job, just don't paint yourself as someone who's going to be an HR problem.
Not to put too fine a point on it (which is hardly a fault of mine), let me totally list all the stuff I want to hear from the checkout person.
1.
If you can count out my change correctly that's all I care about.