Well I caught up with one of my best friends over the weekend who I hadn't seen in months. He and I get along like a house on fire, and we have this amazing hate/hate relationship that I don't understand, but that seems to work for us :P Like particularly hateful siblings or something :D
Anyway, he's very flaboyantly gay, and not at all worried about hiding it, and he was around at my house for a while, hanging out and watching a movie as my mother pottered around doing some cleaning.
Last night she turned to me and out of the blue said, '[male friend] is very girly, he's so feminine!' I was in the middle of nodding agreement when she suddenly looked at me and said, 'You're not, you're very masculine. [male friend] is much more like a girl than you. All of his manerisms are effeminate, you act much more like a man.'
I was speechless! My mother has always seen me as her 'little girl', and of everyone in the family I'd say she's provided the most opposition to my changes. To have her suddenly admit my masculine tendencies (something she's been ignoring my whole life) just felt so great.
I feel like this might be some kind of breakthrough on her part...maybe she's finally starting to see the real me?
or shame your friend.
I don't know kat. It sounds more like a general observation rather than a negative comment. Anyways, it's nice to know that she's willing to think of you as masculine.
Does your mother know you are trans?
that's great, man! :) it definitely sounds like the beginnings of a breakthrough to me. your mom sounds a bit like my mom, and she first began saying random stuff like that about me and my brother's gay friends when she was starting to understand the difference between gender expression and gender identity.
My mother really likes my friend, and as much as she was gently ribbing him with her comment, she wasn't really trying to insult him. And yeah, she knows I'm trans, and she really hasn't been very pleased with the idea, that's what makes this feel like such a breakthrough :)
Sounds to me like she was complimenting both of you ;D.