I would have never guessed...
Long story short confided in another friend a couple nights ago. She's a long distance friend from Delaware that I had a brief long distance relationship with at one time... I'm horrible with time frames, but maybe 7 or 8 years ago?!?
Anyway we've remained friends throughout this time and while I'm not going to share her entire email reply to me... one part struck with me and makes me think that maybe to some it was more obvious that I was truly a girl, than what it even was to myself at the time.
The part of the reply:
"& of course this is not a surprise to me at all, since we had already talked many times of dressing as a woman, your general unhappiness, & just random talks and our visit - I've known for a long time you were not happy the way society perceived you, & that you were fighting to try to be a man this whole time. So as soon as the real woman in you in allowed to flourish -- it'll be so natural!"
Makes me wonder! I had mentioned my 'cross dressing' tendencies to her, but amazed she was able to pick up on the other things the way she seemed to. I'm just glad I can add her to my perfect 1000 batting average of acceptance. She even referred to me as Tiffany in the email.. which in and of itself means a lot
I've only realized who I truly am myself over the last few months (though I've always had strong suspicions) She seemed to have picked up on it somehow before I was even certain.
Very cool. I like the way you refer to your acceptance average :) My average slipped last night: my little brother has a problem, but he also said he thought something was always up with me.
Congratulations!
I had a number of my friends say things like, 'I already knew this', 'I wondered if you were going to figure this out', 'oh finaly I understand you', 'I thought that was what was going on with you'.
None of my friends except one was particularly suprised.
Yes, I think that we tend to send out so many tells that those who are close to us and open minded can pick up on it relatively easy. I mean come on now, we virtually bleed from our damaged female souls as we seek to get any confirmation at all of our true selves.
In the small town where I grew up everybody knew I was "different" but back then (the 1950's and 1960's) nobody knew anything about all this. I guess a lot just sort of "leaked out". When I left home at 24 (1974) and the town's people heard what happened to me, I head the reactions of the town's people through my sister, comments like "Well DAH!", "It took her long enough to figure it out." and "Well that was bloody obvious." I actually think I was the last one to figure it out.
I got stories after the fact like "My mom told me you acted really feminine when she met you," and my former father-in-law apparently said something like "Of course, have you seen him walk?" My ex-wife was also told by someone they thought I was just gay. This stuff drives my ex-wife nuts. As in, why didn't anyone tell her? If someone had told me earlier, I probably would have gotten the courage to transition earlier. My female soul was showing through and I didn't know it.
Tiffany, one word of caution. My batting average was perfect too, but it isn't any longer. You might find that as your transition continues that some of those that initially were fine with the news might not be as things become more "real." Going full time has seemed to have been a breaking point with some of my more casual friends. The long term closer ones are still sticking, but I have learned not to take anything for granted anymore. I am telling you not to put a damper on your joy, but because I wish I had known that before it had started to happen.
Tiffany:
Hey, Girl!
Figured I'd answer this one on THIS forum. Why not, right?
Some people are very perceptive, hon. You'd be amazed at what they can and do notice. Societies worldwide are funny and ironic. How so?
Each society has it mores and standards both stated and implied and PUBLICLY most people get on board with them. PRIVATELY? Whole different ballgame. It's such a hoot. Just suffice it to say that, sure, some folks will really vibe in and figure us out no matter what society either they or we are in. To me, that's good. I would like to believe that this means our society is evolving to increasing understanding and tolerance of diversity of all sorts. Sure, that's wishful thinking, but why not, right?
The people above gave you GREAT replies. Things may change once you go fulltime. However, that's all part and parcel of the trip we're on. At the end of the day, it's YOU who has to be HAPPY with yourself. This is exactly why all of us here are on "this gender trip" for lack of a better phrase.
It's your life, hon. Live it to the hilt. Just be happy.
:D Lacey Lynne