Hi Karla it's Safiyah, I thought I'd repost a reply I was talking the other day as a woman, I don't know how you identify but is it as a hetrosexual woman?
If you do I'd like hetro women make hetrosexual men feel at ease at expressing their feminity :D
So fairy lights make that strong castle magical imo :) Using the word fairy seems to suggest homosexuality to you? lol You know I hope it suggests it to everyone, because that's exactly what I'd like to change, the negative connotation to anything homosexual :)
Any man I date will want to express his feminine side and I'll be proud that he expresses it :D, he can be rough and tough too as that can be part of being a hetrosexual man. In fact I love a combination of the two, just as my own combo is based in the female with male aspects.
hugs and love,
Safiyah :)
My name in a topic title!! :o :D
So thanks Safiyah for explaining, now I understand better what you mean and honestly I really didn't know what to think before you did.
I agree it's very weird that many men have this fixation at constantly censoring the slightest hint of feminine behavior or appearance or thinking. I can try analyzing it but will it really matter.
As (99.9%) hetreo myself I'm attracted to masculine personas and I want my guy to be able to laugh and cry and say sweet things to me and allow himself to be more vulnerable by showing emotions without feeling like it compromises him, I think it would probably make him appear even more secure and masculine (and hotter) than before to me.
... to an extent, I really don't have enough experience to tell how I would feel and react if being feminine is a more essential part of their personality.
I have a dear friend however, who's dead set again seeing any more strictly macho men, so now there's a femininity quota requirement for them to meet! :D
Massive cultural pressure, peer pressure, and pressure from women in general "educates" us men from a very early age that we'd better not be feminine. Then it's up to each of us to work out how much of that crap we are prepared to buy into and still be true to ourselves vs. how scared we are of being rejected/beaten up/humiliated/etc. in a particular environment.
I moved to a fairly working-class area of Cambridge (England, that is) 10 years ago, and I had guys shout "->-bleeped-<-got!" and throw stuff at me out of car windows, just because I had a white jacket on. I got rid of the jacket, and survived. We're really powerfully conditioned, and it's a lot stricter for men in a more working-class social climate, for some reason.
What I look for in a man or woman is that they be themselves, "masculinity/femininity" notwithstanding. If you want someone to behave a certain predetermined way in order to shore up your own sense of identity, then you're trapped to some extent too. If that sounds a bit blunt, well so be it - I'm tired of a world that conditions men to behave a certain way and then rejects us for doing so (as I'm tired of catching myself trying to behave that way in order to feel safe). Let's all let ourselves just be ourselves.
Why its seen as negative? ..... Elton John
The reason homosexuality is seen negatively is the same reason almost all self expression is portrayed as negative. Because for thousands of years, we've live in communities dominatd by people who needed to have all men available to fight their wars while women were needed to make babies and tend wounded soldiers.
Religion was manipulated to be an encouragement of war. Even a passive, pacifist religion like Christianity was twisted to encourag and glorify killing. Islam, for so long, essentially dfensive, with a strong moral code governing conflict has been twisted to cause fear, destroy free thought, with the result that there are young mena and women being brainwashed to blow themselves up to the utter astonishment and disgust of most Muslims and non Muslims alike.
Sorry if this isn't what most are thinking about. The mechanisation of war has meant that our leaders no longer need us as cannon fodder and gfemales as baby machines.