so basicly all my life i have ran away from my GID, first by constantly watching television as a child, then ever since i turned 18 and started playing wow i have been sucked in, until about 2 years ago i ignored my dysphoria, i would just get so bothered with it that it would stress my thought processing and instantly get thrown into thoughts of some new spec/class in wow and would escape into that world as a coping mechanism.
i guess i was just wondering if anyone else views themselves as an escapism addict, and if it bothers them or just something they don't think of?
To some extent. I get caught up in things a lot. Anything that gives me a goal, no matter how small.
I don't consider myself to be addicted to escapism, but it definitely helps me ignore my dysphoria. Sometimes I get thinking about stuff, like how long it's going to be until I can finally start transitioning, and how I'm going to come out as trans at work, and how I'm going to pay for surgery... and I just think about it so much that I have to distract myself with something else or I feel like I'll explode from the stress. Another thing that helps is if I pretend I've already transitioned, you know just visualize myself as already looking male. That's mostly good when I'm alone because as soon as someone refers to me as "she" or "her" or by my birth name, the illusion is shattered and I start thinking about how uncomfortable I feel being physically and socially female. I don't really have any other techniques of avoiding dysphoria.
Nightwish - The Escapist (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S1yQ303OeI#ws)
Quote from: Caleb Lance on March 15, 2011, 02:37:38 AM
To some extent. I get caught up in things a lot. Anything that gives me a goal, no matter how small.
I had it same.
Games, cars (wrecked one per year), motorcycle (wrecked in two months :icon_twisted:), I even want to buy hang glider (luckily for me not realized)
And dreams (I had a dream that I found magic cream which change body from M to F and reverse and have a clinic where this cream will be used ;D)
I've just recently realised that I started making up stories around the time I tried to fit into the role I thought I was supposed to fit in - which was a female one. In these stories though I could always take the role of the main character, who was always male. This has always helped me to get away from stuff. I think you can call this escapism, too.
I've always used my music and my writing as a huge way of letting things out, the only one that's ever really worked. I love reading, but if there's things on my mind I can't even focus. I hate most video games, and I'm touch and go on movies. Music's the only non-chemical thing that can help me, regardless. I'd lose my mind if I couldn't sing, honestly.
An escapism addict? Actually that kind of fits when I think about it. I play video games quite often and when I'm not I am watching or reading something. I fell into the habit of distracting myself from my life and it's problems and frankly I'm ok with it since I have no fix to said problems, and dwelling on them is just bad for my depression.
I have this squirrel in my head. She runs and runs, she never lets up. Before my "big change", it was all about the change. Now, I'm driven to do other things. Amazing things. I love it. Escapism? I love turning it into something real.
Cindi
Does spending too much time on THIS site count? I really shouldn't spend so much time here.
constantly watching television as a child, then ever since i turned 18 and started playing wow i have been sucked in
If that's caused by GID/dysphoria, then about 90% of the population is TG.
Sometimes for some people escapism is the only break in life they get.
Quote from: kiaraja on March 15, 2011, 02:29:58 AM
so basicly all my life i have ran away from my GID, first by constantly watching television as a child, then ever since i turned 18 and started playing wow i have been sucked in, until about 2 years ago i ignored my dysphoria, i would just get so bothered with it that it would stress my thought processing and instantly get thrown into thoughts of some new spec/class in wow and would escape into that world as a coping mechanism.
i guess i was just wondering if anyone else views themselves as an escapism addict, and if it bothers them or just something they don't think of?
I am an escapism addict though not just because of my GID i guess I have many reasons for escapism like family strains, the narrow minded town i live in or whatever is depressing me at the time.
instead of tv and video games I use music as escapism. I get lost within their lyrics, researching them (if they're big enough) or talking to them (if they're a smaller band) online and of course seeing live gigs.
I also create personas and dress up (cosplay) as a form of escapism
I think my greatest form of escapism though is travelling to cities and just getting lost in the rich culture and diverse living that it has to offer. I'm Always more confident in the city because anyone can be anyone an nobody seems to care.
I'm not allowed to be as escapist as I want to be, because my kid tends to need me, and so I'm always on call even when she's at school or at respite. Constant constant vigilance and stress.
I have in the past gotten into wow and other roleplaying games, and I read lots and lots, and lately I spend time on the internet a lot. I'd sleep a lot if I had that skill.
I am just on here because my boyfriend won't let me out of the house to go do stuff.
Did I mention he doesn't live here?
Quote from: espo on August 26, 2011, 10:02:52 AM
Sometimes for some people escapism is the only break in life they get.
I totaly disagree. Escapism will casue you to MISS the "breaks". Every "break" I ever had in life was becasue I worked hard and positioned myself to take advantage of an opportunity when it came. Sometimes bad things happen to people (accidents, disease, etc.) but luck is generally created by our actions or inactions. Spend all day playin WoW or Halo and you probably will not get as lucky as someone who is using their time to work or learn.
Quote from: JessicaH on November 17, 2011, 08:24:20 AM
I totaly disagree. Escapism will casue you to MISS the "breaks". Every "break" I ever had in life was becasue I worked hard and positioned myself to take advantage of an opportunity when it came. Sometimes bad things happen to people (accidents, disease, etc.) but luck is generally created by our actions or inactions. Spend all day playin WoW or Halo and you probably will not get as lucky as someone who is using their time to work or learn.
Was Espo talking about that kind of break? I took it to mean a chance to rest and relax, rather than break as in a stroke of luck. Maybe I misinterpreted it.
Quote from: JessicaH on November 17, 2011, 08:24:20 AM
I totally disagree. Escapism will cause you to MISS the "breaks". Every "break" I ever had in life was because I worked hard and positioned myself to take advantage of an opportunity when it came. Sometimes bad things happen to people (accidents, disease, etc.) but luck is generally created by our actions or inactions. Spend all day playin WoW or Halo and you probably will not get as lucky as someone who is using their time to work or learn.
Fully agree, escapism in which ever way expresses itself is very damaging, akin to a drug or porno or alcohol addiction
Jen61
Yeah, I can say that escapism may have kept me from seeing the truth. let's see here, I am or have been a gear-head, motor-head, music-junkie, computer-geek, off-road driving, guitar-playing, electronics nerd, alcoholic, husband, father, contractor, basically someone who balances 35+ projects and work and family and in the closet cross dressing... Now I am 37 with 3 kids and a wife of ten years and completely miserable. We own both our vehicles, a home, a travel trailer, ATV's, tons of camping gear, almost every tool a man would want and a large garage workshop to hold it all. My wife was very happy with the man she married and for the life we had created together.... However, I am not a man... And will never be happy as a man.
I told my wife a month ago that I have been hiding from myself, and that I am a woman. Now she is very angry with the man she married and would like to divorce despite what we have created together...
I have only realized in the recent weeks that being a Trans-woman would make me happier than owning all this crap and faking it as a man. :)
That and chronic, depression fueled, masturbation. :-\
I definitely fit in here. lost 5 years of my life to wow.
Quote from: meatgrinder on November 17, 2011, 10:11:37 PM
I definitely fit in here. lost 5 years of my life to wow.
I just play GTA: San Andreas.
Not much into video games. Boyfriend probably would say something about me playing them...We argued about me going back to short bangs today. Like jeeze dude, you're 50...Lucky I am with you to begin with.
I barely play games anymore cuz I need to focus on school, socializing, and my music but I do love RPGs (Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Pokemon) and Zelda. I'm totally a geek but I mask it well in public (though I don't try to).
I am dating an organizer of fantasycons and he plays RPGS.
How's that for irony?
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on November 17, 2011, 11:33:35 PM
I just play GTA: San Andreas.
Not much into video games. Boyfriend probably would say something about me playing them...We argued about me going back to short bangs today. Like jeeze dude, you're 50...Lucky I am with you to begin with.
That was the best of the series, i couldnt get into GTA4 as much for some reason.
I'd say my way of escapism has never been movies, television or games (the last one mostly 'cause I never had gaming consoles as a kid, poor me) but I read a lot when I was younger and I've always had very vivid and overactive imagination which has gone ADHD in the past couple years, seeing as I currently have over 90 original characters who all have unique background stories and such. And they vary from normal humans to werewolves and aliens. :P
I am definately an escapism addict. If I am not playing video games than I'm fantasizing about the anime "Sailor Moon". I like to play strong male characters as they are my alter ego.
Quote from: The Passage on November 17, 2011, 08:52:07 PM
That and chronic, depression fueled, masturbation. :-\
Your avatar is familiar to me but your boardname is not. I feel like I cared about you or at least engaged in meaningful conversation with you at some point in the past. Hmm.
Anyway I just wanted to say that I'm sorry your masturbation isn't good for you. I do occasionally have a rough day where I'm either too paralyzed with depressive or panicky inertia to do much other than compulsive and simple things, but for the most part, sex is really fun and empowering for me whether anyone else is involved or not.
I think I have issues with escapism, but luckily I have more nightmarish things to try to escape from than being trans. I'm thin-skinned and overly imaginative.
My escapism was dating.... I figured if I had someone to keep me occupied I wouldn't think about it, boy was I wrong
I think escapism is simply a wish for a more welcoming society... But it doesn't necessarily mean you're unhappy. Writing stories and drawing gives me so much satisfaction - creating new worlds and characters is the most amazing form of escapism for me, so I try to do it whenever I can. But still, nothing compares to a good time with friends and family :)
Not so much now as I have sorted myself out but in the past I was addicted to escapism. I did play loads of video games (Morrowind especially and now Skyrim) but I loved to create fantasy worlds for myself. I spent so much time writing stories and just literally wandering around pretending to be somewhere else.
I realized I was using Tetris (on my phone) as an escape mechanism. A couple years ago, I made a new year's res to not play it, although at the time I didn't know the role it served...I was just disgusted with myself for playing it so much. (Haven't played it since.)
Shortly after I stopped, I had a significant mental/emotional breakdown, and when I came to, I'd realized I was trans.
Now I'm trying to break the habit of Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire...but since I'm dealing with myself in straightforward ways, I don't expect another breakdown.
But yes, getting SO involved not only takes time away, but it prevents one from being aware of, and dealing with, one's REAL problems.
imho
Quote from: Beth Andrea on April 08, 2012, 01:14:39 PM
I realized I was using Tetris (on my phone) as an escape mechanism. A couple years ago, I made a new year's res to not play it, although at the time I didn't know the role it served...I was just disgusted with myself for playing it so much. (Haven't played it since.)
Shortly after I stopped, I had a significant mental/emotional breakdown, and when I came to, I'd realized I was trans.
Now I'm trying to break the habit of Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire...but since I'm dealing with myself in straightforward ways, I don't expect another breakdown.
But yes, getting SO involved not only takes time away, but it prevents one from being aware of, and dealing with, one's REAL problems.
imho
I love Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire. Tetris too. I don't think I've ever gotten compulsive with those games, but I have a friend who played Tetris on his phone and had a problem with it. It kept him up at night and he always had to just play one more game. He finally deleted it and it was an act of will and he experienced huge relief.
Quote from: Felix on April 15, 2012, 02:05:46 AM
I love Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire. Tetris too. I don't think I've ever gotten compulsive with those games, but I have a friend who played Tetris on his phone and had a problem with it. It kept him up at night and he always had to just play one more game. He finally deleted it and it was an act of will and he experienced huge relief.
Just like Bilbo..."he gave up The Ring willingly..."
...Except I can't delete Tetris. It just says "that function is not allowed." IT HAS MY PHONE!!! ???
Lost a good 3-4 years to a certain RPG I'm too embarrassed to mention now T.T I also daydream a lot and miss out on life. If I have woken up earlier, I would be in a much better position than I am now, but right now I'm just glad I woke up before it's too late.
You know now that i think about it, that is entirely true. Ive been getting really really into my writing and drawing again, its like a well of creativity woke up in me, and i gotta follow the rabbit hole down.
I dont think it distracts from the dispohoria anymore, becuase i found through mediation i could find creativity, and also through it i could look deep inward and find the parts of myself ive hidden.PT
I noticed that when I played Tetris on my phone, time, anxiety, and depression go away. My entire world for the 15 minutes of the game is turning blocks, zooming them down, go on to the next level...turn more blocks, zoom down, go on to the next level...etc etc.
At the start of 2011 one of my new year's resolutions was to stop playing it...and within a month I had a major mental breakdown. All the depression etc that I'd blocked came out in one blurred, dizzying month.
I haven't played it since then, until just about a week ago. I realized it's a better "medication" than most anti-anxiety drugs I've taken. For immediate relief of severe (situational) anxiety, that's what I do (if I have the time...if not, I'm popping pills).
I'm starting to wonder if maybe or not my massive game collection (and love of reading) can be attributed to such a desire for escapism so that I always had something to do to take my mind off of the important things. I always try to keep myself feeling busy so that I'm not thinking, because thinking ends up leading to massive bouts of depression.
Quote from: Beth Andrea on April 08, 2012, 01:14:39 PM
I realized I was using Tetris (on my phone) as an escape mechanism. A couple years ago, I made a new year's res to not play it, although at the time I didn't know the role it served...I was just disgusted with myself for playing it so much. (Haven't played it since.)
Shortly after I stopped, I had a significant mental/emotional breakdown, and when I came to, I'd realized I was trans.
Now I'm trying to break the habit of Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire...but since I'm dealing with myself in straightforward ways, I don't expect another breakdown.
But yes, getting SO involved not only takes time away, but it prevents one from being aware of, and dealing with, one's REAL problems.
imho
I just noticed that I posted the same thing twice in the same thread...once in April (above) and once in August (below). ??? Oh well, I'm glad it doesn't happen TOO often...
Quote from: Beth Andrea on August 02, 2012, 10:23:23 PM
I noticed that when I played Tetris on my phone, time, anxiety, and depression go away. My entire world for the 15 minutes of the game is turning blocks, zooming them down, go on to the next level...turn more blocks, zoom down, go on to the next level...etc etc.
At the start of 2011 one of my new year's resolutions was to stop playing it...and within a month I had a major mental breakdown. All the depression etc that I'd blocked came out in one blurred, dizzying month.
I haven't played it since then, until just about a week ago. I realized it's a better "medication" than most anti-anxiety drugs I've taken. For immediate relief of severe (situational) anxiety, that's what I do (if I have the time...if not, I'm popping pills).
Quote from: Beth Andrea on August 02, 2012, 10:23:23 PM
I noticed that when I played Tetris on my phone, time, anxiety, and depression go away. My entire world for the 15 minutes of the game is turning blocks, zooming them down, go on to the next level...turn more blocks, zoom down, go on to the next level...etc etc.
At the start of 2011 one of my new year's resolutions was to stop playing it...and within a month I had a major mental breakdown. All the depression etc that I'd blocked came out in one blurred, dizzying month.
I haven't played it since then, until just about a week ago. I realized it's a better "medication" than most anti-anxiety drugs I've taken. For immediate relief of severe (situational) anxiety, that's what I do (if I have the time...if not, I'm popping pills).
Honestly, it might be better to try to manage a video game than whatever else might make you feel better. Sometimes I can't get to (or get back to) sleep because my head is full of stupid garbage going round and round in pointlessness, and if i turn to the gameboy i feel safe pretty quickly and it often takes far less time than my internal miseries can steal from me. ymmv of course.
My escapism depending on how one looks at it is quite severe. I've used video games a fun when i was 6 but when times got hard i used it to zone out in, or I'd write poetry or I'd draw, or I'd hum, or I'd sing songs on the fly about how bored I am or sad etc. Then turned to maladaptive daydreaming (which can be fun sometimes) Then high school I turned more to drawing, listening to music along with everything else. I started self harming for a short while, then after high school I tried to learn learn learn on top of everything else. Then discovered second life. etc.
Each of these things I was male in (games, stories, etc) because at the time I wasn't sure I'd ever be the person I was inside. I didn't do much drugs though. Smoking was mostly a blue moon pleasure and drinking just isn't for me. I've worked hard though to cut down on my gaming (most money reasons) but I still enjoy them all the same if I pick it up. Music won't change it's flowing through my veins in every form. Learning I find is a strength when I find something I actually enjoy like a language. I stick to it like glue and the concepts come easy. The maladaptive daydreaming I still do because it's fun to pretend I'm an actor. I probably won't pursue that any further though. I'm still escaping yes, but I'm doing what I can to make certain habits into better ones while gaining confidence to take that step that i plan to go forth with when the window opens.
My escape was constant daydreaming,which when overdone is as much of an addiction as anything.Caused me problems in school,and later.Wish that I could have been diagnosed and treated like trans kids are today, but that was back in the 1950's.
Old thread but I don't see a need to start this over.
Escape? Yes I sure do.
40 sum years of my nose in a wealth of human past and all of it negative. All of it real world history and none of it pleasant.
I have realized long before my coming to awareness of who I am, that I didn't wish to be whatever I am in the real world much.
I have ditched my age more or less, as I have very little love for my demographic all too often responsible for the ugliness of the world (it sure isn't the fault of our supposedly spoiled entitlement generation as we like to slag them off as being).
The most depressing film I have ever watched is Trinity and Beyond. To actually come to grips with just how many nuclear weapons we have already detonated. Most people think Hiroshima and Nagasaki and then draw a blank. Nope, there was the first ever test before of course, but then there was several nations detonating them by the score. You don't want to wander the south Pacific, nor the lands too close to Vegas, nor a lot of places in remote Russia or the Chinese outback.
All the wars I have studied that likely are forgotten by most.
Oh I don't need to be a female in a male form to wishing I could just escape to another realm, I found it hard to want to leave my apartment a long time ago.
I spend most of my time hiding in a book in another world, or in an anime where I can laugh and simply not need to be in MY reality for very solid reasons.
I spent regrettably far too many years this last decade giving men my age far too much credit far too often for being mature and civil and intelligent, when in truth, they are mostly what is wrong with the world. To nasty, to angry, too hostile, too just plain mean. I am sure the ones that are single today, will die that way too. But some seem to be married, and I wonder, what would their wives say if they saw how they behave among themselves?
My accepting being TG would have just been the equal of spreading fuel on an already large fire, if I had done it among my old crowd of netizens. Before I found Susan's, I had already mastered the art of discarding the undesirable from my life. It's now a skill I have honed to great degree. It does serve me in that regard. Can't handle my being a she, too bad get lost, I don't need you. I have had zero difficulty discarding people that will not let me be me in peace.
The real world of today, the real one, not necessarily the one in the news or the magazines, or popular media, not the one most declare is the real one, is not a nice place, and it is in dire need of a serious wake up, and likely will not happen until either our race does something horribly stupid or mother nature assists us in her own fashion (which is often more brutal and unyielding and politically neutral).
I wonder, not can I afford to transition in the real world, but, will the real world still be here for me in 10 years time.
If the world suffered a catastrophic melt down, the likes of which might be coming, because the house of cards we are building is getting terribly close to the conditions preceding WW1 and all of it's convoluted treaties, would I be able to maintain a life dependent on a variety of fairly involved fairly complicated medical technologies? I live today on a disability pension. It's a thin strand indeed. If tomorrow my country fell off the deep end of a sharp drop in economic fortune, and my ability to live on a pension just faded away, my being male or female would suddenly be replaced with being dead or alive.
All just doom and gloom you say? No I am not talking biblical nonsense here, nor am I referring to kooky notions from ancient cultures.
I am talking about a range of very possible very horrible situations we could easily find ourselves in. It doesn't need to have an associated Hollywood film to be damaging. China and India are running rapidly towards of show down over a need for water. Read about that much? China has several hundred millions of males the don't even need, and wouldn't miss. I am not sure about India, but I remember 1948. They are quite good at killing by the millions if you give them a reason. They both have world class armies and they have nukes. They don't need to even ask the US into the squabble.
But, can you picture a nuclear exchange between those two? Even if there is no one else involved?
Have you noticed how everything we use is made in China? How they seem to buy all of our resources. Picture all of that suddenly stopping. Heck we don't even need to experience nuclear fallout to suddenly be in serious chaos.
I didn't learn any of this on Google, I ain't got a wiki for you. There is no copy paste coming from a quote.
This is me telling you all of this first hand. I'm no stranger to this topic matter.
And now you know why I can often be found hiding in another world.
If I were to win millions, I'd be headed further north, the real Northern Ontario. A long drive from much of anything. Likely out of cell range. Probably supplied by a small local town store. On some mostly self sufficient land, with some local grown food, home made power. I'd be even more disappeared than I already am. I suppose walking around in women's clothing would be no big deal. I'd be wearing fashions meant to be outdoors in though. I wouldn't need high heels and an evening dress. I'd have lasered the hair before I left society of course. I might even get rid of the conflicting organ. I am unsure I'd need much of anything else. I'd have no one to impress during the day.
I dislike the real world a lot more than I dislike my male form.
I remember some of these people from my long, lurking phase. I read so many old threads on here...
I'm trying to cut down on the escapism because it isn't doing me any favors. It's better to sit down and work through my problems than to try to find some chore to do or some game to play to block it all out. The only way I'm ever going to find out who I am and what I need to do to make everything right is to stop running away from myself. The Sims isn't going to show me the answer, and playing spider stomp out in the corner of the garage won't help, either.
I see escapism as the problem (in my case) and as a cure I've built at least 20 minutes a day into my schedule to just sit down in my room when everyone else is asleep so I can think about my past, present, and future self without any interruptions. As a result, my therapist doesn't really know what to do with me. I spent more time talking to her about school than I did about my transition or my dysphoria. I have answers now that I never did before. And I have money since I don't need to buy a new video game every two weeks.
See, I have the opposite problem... I don't spend enough time escaping. I spend too damn much time sitting around and just thinking, obsessing over my progress (or lack thereof) and it has been driving me absolutely bonkers recently because it feels like everything is going so damned slow. I need more escapism. I need to get away from my problems, because I'm at the point where obsessing over them is completely pointless, won't make the changes (which are coming, and I greatly look forward to) come faster, and just makes me feel depressed all the time.
So I don't know. Maybe I need to get back to the time where I played The Sims all day or watched anime all day instead of sitting in my room looking at TG stuff all day.
Quote from: Carrie Liz on March 30, 2013, 12:07:32 AM
See, I have the opposite problem... I don't spend enough time escaping. I spend too damn much time sitting around and just thinking, obsessing over my progress (or lack thereof) and it has been driving me absolutely bonkers recently because it feels like everything is going so damned slow. I need more escapism. I need to get away from my problems, because I'm at the point where obsessing over them is completely pointless, won't make the changes (which are coming, and I greatly look forward to) come faster, and just makes me feel depressed all the time.
So I don't know. Maybe I need to get back to the time where I played The Sims all day or watched anime all day instead of sitting in my room looking at TG stuff all day.
You should look up the rules for the Sims 3 asylum challenge. You won't sleep for a week.
I think that "mindful" meditation is the worst kind of escapism
Mindfulness isn't necessarily escapism, at least not how I was taught to use it. I tend to think escapism is focusing heavily on one thing in excess to avoid ruminating on something else in excess, a trade off. I know I used to throw myself into anything to distract myself momentarily, because when I didn't I would ruminate about everything I didn't want to think about. But meditation is clearing your mind of all thoughts, giving yourself peace from anxiety and allowing yourself to calm down and de-stress, then when you are done returning to your life and your problems more able to handle them. I guess there could be people who use the technique in excess to keep unsettling thoughts and emotions at bay, but honestly if I tried to be mindful more than 20-30 minutes I'd either fall asleep or get to restless to do it anymore.
Kia Ora
Just a slight detour [My apologies to the OP]
What is "Mindfulness" ?
It's all about being 'aware'... that is, being it touch with reality and not trying to escape from it...
For the most part we are living an illusion, where ones thoughts tend to drag the mind to either the past or the possible futures, very rarely do we experience the 'NOW'... Being mindful just means being in the 'present moment'...Seeing what 'is' as 'is' when 'is'...
When being "Mindful", the only thing one will escape is the self inflicted illusion that one mistakenly calls reality...
There's more to the term "Get Real!" than meets the eye....
Metta Zenda :)
My escapism consists of films. I watch A LOT of movies. I'm one of those people you can watch a film with, see an obscure actor/actress with a small role, point them out, and most of the time I can tell you what else they've been in.
My favorite genres are action, horror, medieval/fantasy, and a bit of sci fi. :)
One person's "putting off something important" is another person's "coping with reality until I learn enough about what I need to go forward." I mean, you may "know" something about yourself when you're 4, 7, 11, 16, 22, or 30, but if you don't know what you should do to handle it yet, you need to be able to put your attention elsewhere part of the time. There needs to be a balance of thinking/agonizing over things and still finding things to enjoy in the present (with the particulars varying from person to person and circumstance to circumstance). It also helps people become more well-rounded, so you're not just a TG or just a WoW player or what have you.
Honestly, escapism isn't seeming like such a bad idea anymore.
I'm getting really tired of constantly obsessing over my HRT progress. I'd much rather get wrapped up in a video game for the next few months, forget about transitioning, and then look in the mirror one morning and be amazed at how much progress I've made since I last looked.
Much better than staring in the mirror every single day and being like "Nope, no progress... no progress again... still don't look like a girl... nope... nope... okay, I guess I look a little better than this picture I took a few weeks ago... nope... nope... nope... nope... OMG, I LOOK WORSE!!! OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!??... nope, OMG MY LIFE SUCKS!... nope... nope... nope... oh hey, I'm getting the tiniest little breast buds, I guess that's some progress at least... nope... DAMN IT, GO FASTER!!!" (Which is pretty much what my last month or so has been like.)
my escapism was Star Trek. When I saw the filming model from the original TV series I silently thanked it for keeping me alive. lol
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi688.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fvv246%2FKeairaElisabeth%2FP6190138_zps4558b8a5.jpg&hash=b0f040b64942f05383ebaccec5781f37dc1094d6)
I'm not ashamed to say that I am quite the escapist and always have been. I think that my faith was my escapist refuge for a long time. I was not one of those hardcore Jesus freaks, but I did spend a lot of time studying the Bible, went to church a lot, only listened to goody-two-shoes Christian music, etc. I wanted to fit in so bad that I denied my true self for a long time. Ugh.
Music has always been one of top escapes as well. Mostly heavy metal and weird instrumental stuff. And industrial music. And dark gothy stuff. And southern rock. And The Smiths! And did I mention metal? I love it all. I listen to a lot of music, but don't play any instruments...although I am considering rewarding myself with some drums once I transition fully. I've always wanted to play, but have never lived anywhere where I had space to do so.
In the past, I fostered two of my very young cousins. That 1+ year was totally devoted to escapism. I was part time "mommy" and determined to prove my femininity by being the best caregiver ever. :icon_no:
I've never been keen on video games, at least not as an adult. As a kid I played "Dark Ages: Vampire", "Changeling", "Hunter", "Ultima", "Doom", and an assortment of other games. My fave was Diablo and then Diablo 2. I played those well in college. I have considered playing the new Diablo, but always find myself saying no...because I won't do other things if I play Diablo, lol.
QuoteWhat sort of metal and weird intrumental stuff?
I really love Viking/Folk metal. Vintersorg, Finntroll and Amon Amarth are probably my favorites in that category. Borknagar isn't bad, Ensiferum is ok too.
I'm also partial to what I call "storytelling" metal. Stuff like Iced Earth, Nightwish (only the older stuff with the original lead singer) and Iron Maiden.
I listen to a lot of other metal and rock too though. Arch Enemy, In Flames, Children of Bodom, Testament, Megadeth, Death, CoC, Acid Bath, Cryptopsy, Dragonforce, Lordi, Queens of the Stone Age...
Weird instrumental stuff that I like includes: Sigur Ros, Boards of Canada, Bonobo, DJ Shadows, and a lot mellow techno stuff.
I just recently started listening to secular music again after a 2-3 year hiatus so I'm kind of out of date when it comes to newer stuff.
Quote from: zombieinc on July 02, 2013, 01:29:05 PM
I really love Viking/Folk metal. Vintersorg, Finntroll and Amon Amarth are probably my favorites in that category. Borknagar isn't bad, Ensiferum is ok too.
I'm also partial to what I call "storytelling" metal. Stuff like Iced Earth, Nightwish (only the older stuff with the original lead singer) and Iron Maiden.
I listen to a lot of other metal and rock too though. Arch Enemy, In Flames, Children of Bodom, Testament, Megadeth, Death, CoC, Acid Bath, Cryptopsy, Dragonforce, Lordi, Queens of the Stone Age...
Yes! I found that a lot of the bands you mentioned really helped me to get through high school, particularly the Viking and Folk metal.
Viking metal and Folk Metal...I'll always have a place in my heart for Finntroll. And Gogol Bordello, even though they are not metal, I love their music as well. I also recently (as in, a few days ago) came across a band called Almora that I'm really liking.
I liked this kind of music when I was younger too. I listened to Amon Amarth and Vintersorg a lot back in high school because they were the only metal cds I owned that didn't have parental advisory stickers on them. My high school didn't allow us to have cds with adult content back then. (Obviously, this was pre-iPods, iPhones, etc.
Now I feel old. :(
I always those stickers were just for show, really. So what if we couldn't bring them to school? We were still listening to them at home. I used to buy most of my cds back in the day at used cd shops. Those places didn't care one way or the other about how old we were or anything. Just as long as you had the cash. Realistically, those sorts of places were the only ones where I could buy metal, industrial or anything I really liked anyway. It's not like Wal-mart ever carried anything most of us metal/industrial/alternative fans wanted anyway. Unless you in the market for an overly edited Eminem cd or Winona Judd Sings About Jay-Sus or some crap like that.
QuoteThat whole thing with the "Washington Wives/PMRC" was so friggin' absurd, anyway. Just a way for their husbands to get votes and just to make trouble for other people.
Politicians (and their associates) are pretty good at that.
But it was to protect TEH CHILDREN! Don't you care about their INN-O-SENSE!!!!?!?!? << similar to arguments against homosexual marriage nowadays. Can't have their minds corrupted by violent, vulgar music and the sight of two men getting married. OMFG! Their minds will be forever warped. 8)
What so scary about people and the news?
Quote from: Miss Bungle on July 04, 2013, 08:52:12 PM
Because about 40 to 50% of the human population are friggin insane. The news is just there to frighten and demoralize the populace (at least it is in the United States). It's always negativity unless it's a dumb fluff piece delivered with the most fake of emotions.
Bill Hicks said at one point: "There is one thing you will never see on American television and that is honest emotion." He is still right about that one.
Sounds like someone needs a hug... :(
I love viking/folk metal too! Folk rock is great as well (think Omnia, Faun, Irfan, Moon and the Nightspirit, and lots of others, but I think those are more 'metal' than 'rock', hmmm...)
Well, as for escapism, I LARP, which is probably pretty escapist stuff, lol! I always larped as a female char though, until I found out that playing as the 'opposite' gender is actually accepted (not only among transpeople), as long as you can pull it off (Heck I can! :P). So since shortly I'm happily playing a male character. Even though it's not real, and OOC (= Out Of Character) people still talk to me like a girl (though some kept calling me 'him' just for fun and to tease me, and I actually like it, lol! I told them they should call me Erik when calling me a guy OOC, and not my IC (= In Character) name, telling them it's my 'male name', and they happily bought it, thinking it was some fun joke. So now I got the "nickname" Erik amongst my LARP friends, lolol! If they knew...! ::)) Even though they see it as a joke, I damn love it! :)
And before... I used to play lots of games (mostly Runescape, WoW for a few months, but also some 'non internet' games) and write stories as well. When I was a kid I used to draw A LOT (still do, but less, actually), and play 'adventure' with my action figures (I actually identified with none of them, as they were just characters of their own, but funnily enough they were all guys, lol), but whether that counts as escapism... I dunno, lol! Would building with blocks count as escapism too then? ::)
And lastly lots of music. Listening, but also singing (I'm not that good, really. I recorded myself and even though I hit the notes I sound pretty nasal and just crappy), and playing piano (improvising, mostly, but also learning a new song now and then, or practicing a new technique)
I think mainly Pink Floyd, and viking/folk/celtic metal are good for 'escaping' and getting some ->-bleeped-<- out. Though hard rock can be great too.
This is one reason why I'm such a fan of folk music and singer-songwriter, and really don't like modern music. Because there's no post-production, no BS, just you and a couple of friends and some guitars, and the natural beauty of the human voice, with all of its flaws intact.
It's a beautiful thing. A beautiful natural flower growing wild. While modern music to me feels like fake flowers... all the same, all manufactured to be perfect, and therefore boring, boring, boring.
Ive found myself more and more getting into escapist fantasies these days in order to avoid issues having to do with GID. For years i played WoW at the expense of socializing, now I agressively model and play Warhammer 40k and play DnD. Granted I am a huge nerd, but sometimes i feel that i get waaaay into these things in order to not have to think about the stuff that truly bothers me! I know i have to deal with this one day, but until then it looks like i may be filling myself up with "other" things. Thankfully i worked up the willpower to quit WoW after 8 years of solid addiction, maybe now i can get this trans-monster slain.