Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I don't know why but these questions just keep running through my mind and the choices i make will affect how things go from here for me. 

First these are only my own thoughts and opinions. I may or may not be right but these are the questions i am having and to quiet them down i just need to ask them. So here goes......

What if God is willing to transform someone? Usually i too have asked to be changed overnight and of course it has not happened but what if it HAS to be a process which also would include the mental,emotional,spiritual and physical? I mean a total 100% perfect transformation overnight could have a number of down sides. (Would it involve a lot of pain that someone would have a very hard time with it as even the very bones and muscles would have to change a bit possibly after they have been set. And how much could there be when dealing with the gonads? Also how if it did happen overnight would you be able to prove who you are if no one else saw it happening?)
That being said then is it even possible? If God did create everything by His spoken word as is stated that happened in the biblical account. (Which does fit nicely with the mathematical formula for the theory of relativity. Speech creates sound waves which are a form of energy.  E=mc2.) If so that would mean that the one who created everything would know how all things work even down to the sub atomic particles and how they would go together and how to fix them because the one who created it would not be bound by the creation that He made. He would be able to change things because He would not be bound by the same laws of nature (He would be above and beyond it) that would seem impossible to my mind because that is not how things work in everyday life.
What would it take to believe that?  What would it take as an act of faith to act on it? How would it happen? Who would believe it? Anyone saying it is going to be thought of as either a lunatic,deluded or just plain mistaken by quite a few people (Not all by any means) Any one doing so is going to have to take a very large leap of faith into the unknown with very few guide posts along the way.
Who ever would go this way is going to most likely feel they are walking a very thin line or walking on very thin ice and may be isolated,ignored and down right ridiculed.

This is only the tip of the iceberg so to speak but i can't seem to turn them off and they keep coming around time after time.

Sarah.

If I may suggest, if a supreme being were to grant your wish to be completely and perfectly transformed, then surely it would be done perfectly?

Now, if that were to happen as a sort of mirracle, along the lines of one of the Biblical mirracles, then others would instanty notice. That would be concrete proof of the existance of the supreme being, which would defy the principal of not tempting God. Faith would be irrelevant since there would be absolute proof.

On  the other hand, if it were done so only your knew, then everyone ane everything you have ever interacted with would need to be changed also.

That leads to the metaphysical question, if you were to cease to exist, how many other things would also be different? This is generally posed as the point, that if someone were to go back in time and kill your grandfather, while he was still a child, you wouldn't exist and would never have existed.

Thanks Spacial,

Quote from: spacial on March 16, 2011, 11:28:39 AM

If I may suggest, if a supreme being were to grant your wish to be completely and perfectly transformed, then surely it would be done perfectly?

This is a good reminder for me that it would be perfect and that there should be no fear.

I think i do need to clarify one thing,as i do know God does not go around just granting wishes. If i believe that God has a perfect plan for me then i need to seek His will.  It only really leaves 3 ways of going,either i am to remain as i am at this point,or to trust Him to help me through the typical means of transitioning, or to trust Him to do so in a way that only He can do it.  All three have costs with them.

Could it be that God is telling us that He has already shown us enough that He is far more than able to do so, and He is waiting for someone to place it in His hands and to trust Him and Him alone to do it,which does mean giving up control of when and how it would work out. With the main purpose of given Him the glory as He is the only one who could do that kind of transformation.

Could be Sarah.

The perspective of some Hindu and Buddist groups is that God has given us our lives to improve and adapt. If you think about it, it's logical, otherwise we'd all still be living in trees.

Jesus certainly taught us to put our faith entirely in the hands of God. He cited the birds who are provided with the food they need. For my part, I have to confess, that I see most of Jesus' teachings as objectives. They mostly require an enormous leap of faith plus a lot of personal courage. I can only hope that I will achieve that.

I believe that Jesus also taught that our relationship with God was to be as personal as a little child before his loving daddy.
Which took me a very long time to accept. Being brought up in a very structured,ritualized, and with very rigid ideas from the time i was 2 and ended up going to parocial school in the same denomination,by the time i was 19 i was at a point that what i was seeing in the church was not what Jesus taught. I had seen more rejection,judgement and hypocrisy then i ever thought was possible. It also seemed that it was a formula and there was no reality. The love that Jesus talked about was not evident. Even so i still started down the path to prepare for seminary. I think now part of it was hoping to keep the GID under control. (Not really a good reason to try to become a pastor) After about a year of college i just couldn't do it anymore and i bolted from the church. Even so i kept being drawn back to Jesus not the organized church.  That was when i was about 21. (Between the ages of 20 and 24 i don't remember much only bits and pieces as there is a major block for some reason)


I had found that since then a lot of what i was taught i am finding was wrong,it's often based on human reasoning and at times there is nothing in the bible on what some things are based on. So i too am still learning and also relearning. A good reminder for me has also been that Jesus said to follow Him,not Billy Graham,Oral Roberts,Pat Robertson,Calvin, Wesley,Martin Luther,the pope,or any other person. I am to love them but to remember they are not perfect either.

It was kind of weird this morning as i know one of the things i need to work on is trust issues. We had just finished a bible study and the leader wanted to know what the group would like as a topic and wouldn't you know it the topic picked is trust. Which also is tied into faith,because if you can't trust then how can you have faith in the one that you need to trust?

The follow song really fits so much where i feel i am at.


Beyond Belief -- Petra

We're content to pitch our tent
When the glory's evident
Seldom do we know the glory came and went

Moving can seem dangerous
In this stranger's pilgrimage
Knowing that you can't stand still, you cross the bridge

(Chorus)
There's a higher place to go, beyond belief, beyond belief
Where we reach the next plateau, beyond belief, beyond belief
And from faith to faith we grow
Towards the center of the flow
Where He beckons us to go, beyond belief, beyond belief

Leap of faith without a net
Makes us want to hedge our bet
Waters never part until our feet get wet

There's a deeper place to go
Where the road seems hard to hoe
He who has begun this work won't let it go

There's a higher place to go, beyond belief, beyond belief
Where we reach the next plateau, beyond belief, beyond belief
And from faith to faith we grow
Towards the center of the flow
Where He beckons us to go, beyond belief, beyond belief

And it takes so long to see the change
But we look around and it seems so strange

We have come so far but the journey's long
And we once were weak but now we're strong

There's a higher place to go, beyond belief, beyond belief
Where we reach the next plateau, beyond belief, beyond belief
And from faith to faith we grow
Towards the center of the flow
Where He beckons us to go, beyond belief, beyond belief

Sorry got a bit off track.

I think the real question is what compelled and brought people that were just as scared,flawed,broken,physically sick or born with birth defects to come to a point where they could cross the line to even ask for the humanly impossible and believe in the One who can do what is humanly impossible?

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 21, 2011, 06:16:56 AM
Sorry got a bit off track.

I think the real question is what compelled and brought people that were just as scared,flawed,broken,physically sick or born with birth defects to come to a point where they could cross the line to even ask for the humanly impossible and believe in the One who can do what is humanly impossible?

It isn't impossible. Sometimes what we need isn't as obvious as we might hope.

If I am hungry, for example. I may ask for food. Now I might be hoping that a nice table will appear before me, laid out with a feast enough to satisfy anyone. If I suddenly find myself being offerd a job, where I can earn the money to buy the food, that is really the same. But I have to work for it.

That's my persepective.

Quote from: spacial on March 21, 2011, 07:08:35 AM
It isn't impossible. Sometimes what we need isn't as obvious as we might hope.

I do agree. That is why i do not think that even if God were to say yes to a transformation, it would also be not yet but in My time and My way.

The reality is that there are so many other issues involved with this and it is very complex as it affects every aspect of our lives. I don't believe that if let's say you are a smoker and you get lung cancer and you ask Him to heal you from the cancer but do NOT want to give up the smoking, He may want to heal you of the cancer but won't because you still want to continue to do the very thing that brought you to this point in the first place.  It may be that you have to stop smoking first before He would heal you.
So in the same way any one going this direction may have to go through all the same steps as any one going through the usual way. Dealing with the truth of what we are, past hurts, relationships,addictions etc. before ever seeing one single change in the body.  Adding to that He may also ask for us to be content with where we are today and that it is ok as He is in control of it (Contentment meaning acceptance not meaning happy happy joy joy) Patience in that we may have to watch a parade of others going first and reaching their goal and being able to be truly happy for them as you are waiting. And He may also chose to test our faith along the way and give us a chance to take another path. Being able to ask if the path that is before us is not from Him to close those doors.

Quote from: spacial on March 21, 2011, 07:08:35 AM

If I am hungry, for example. I may ask for food. Now I might be hoping that a nice table will appear before me, laid out with a feast enough to satisfy anyone. If I suddenly find myself being offerd a job, where I can earn the money to buy the food, that is really the same. But I have to work for it.

That's my persepective.

I do agree. He does give us times where we do have to do something like working for to get some of the things we need and want. It has to be balanced. Now if He were to give you a banquet is it meant only for your own benefit or does He mean for us to share that feast with those around us and share what He has done with those around us?

I still can't get past that if the biblical accounts are true what would get a 70 year old man to walk away from the home he know and go to a land he had never seen, another man to take 120 years and build a boat of a rather large size,a man to get out of the boat onto the water during a storm,a Roman Centurion to go and humble himself before a Jewish Rabbi to ask for healing, a woman believing that if she just could reach out and touch the hem of Jesus garment that she could be healed,or 4 dudes going on top of a building and opening a hole in the roof and lowering their friend down before Jesus so he could be healed?
What so convinced them that what they were asking for was right and good and that it could be done? It defies rational thinking.
But yet they did so. They crossed the line between rational thinking and a faith that defies logic. What brought them to that point?

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 24, 2011, 05:20:14 AM
I still can't get past that if the biblical accounts are true what would get a 70 year old man to walk away from the home he know and go to a land he had never seen, another man to take 120 years and build a boat of a rather large size,a man to get out of the boat onto the water during a storm,a Roman Centurion to go and humble himself before a Jewish Rabbi to ask for healing, a woman believing that if she just could reach out and touch the hem of Jesus garment that she could be healed,or 4 dudes going on top of a building and opening a hole in the roof and lowering their friend down before Jesus so he could be healed?
What so convinced them that what they were asking for was right and good and that it could be done? It defies rational thinking.
But yet they did so. They crossed the line between rational thinking and a faith that defies logic. What brought them to that point?

you answered it when you wrote "They crossed the line between rational thinking and a faith that defies logic. What brought them to that point?"

FAITH 

I had a little faith that God would solve my problems, but i cried and begged God for help and well it took me many years to realize that i needed to go through a gender change to get them solved and many more yrs to understand it was God who helped me. What i did find out was others who had great faith prayed for me and so even when i was weak they were strong in faith and God answered their prayers for me. They might not have thought that me going through a gender change would be Gods way of resolving my problems but it happened that way. Many times we think the gender change is the big thing when in reality it is only a small part that allows us to feel better and see the bigger part of Gods works in our life.  

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on March 24, 2011, 06:27:16 AM
you answered it when you wrote "They crossed the line between rational thinking and a faith that defies logic. What brought them to that point?"

FAITH 

I had a little faith that God would solve my problems, but i cried and begged God for help and well it took me many years to realize that i needed to go through a gender change to get them solved and many more yrs to understand it was God who helped me. What i did find out was others who had great faith prayed for me and so even when i was weak they were strong in faith and God answered their prayers for me. They might not have thought that me going through a gender change would be Gods way of resolving my problems but it happened that way. Many times we think the gender change is the big thing when in reality it is only a small part that allows us to feel better and see the bigger part of Gods works in our life.  

I agree God worked out a lot in me. If it wasn't for that i would have taken my own live by now. I would have crossed that line a long time ago. I did also have some other factors that took some time to work through before i was even 100 % sure i was dealing with GID and not another issue. I had been sexually abused by my uncle,and my father was a poor role model and part of me never wanted to be male if that was what it meant to be male and i had to be sure i wasn't just rejecting being male because of those issues. After being able to work through though issues with His help i am now so sure that no one can shake me of the conviction that i am a female in a male body. And i do agree that the body may not be the first thing to change. God has not yet opened the doors for me to go through the changes for my body as of yet.  But even if my body can not or will not be changed in this life He will get me through this.

He has been faithful in that He taught me how to forgive and let go of the past hurts. I can now talk about them without the pain, i do have sadness about it as it should not have happened and there is a hope that they may be able to come to their senses and change their ways. I still hope and pray that my sister and i can be reconciled (But it is not in my hands)

I think that is the key to being able to have that kind of faith. Faith grows through seeing God get us through things. Faith and trust i think go hand in hand. I think that most of them had seen God work through other things in their lives that it was no longer a leap of "blind faith" but that their faith was rooted and grounded in knowing God and how He had worked before in their lives.

 ;)

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 24, 2011, 05:20:14 AM
I still can't get past that if the biblical accounts are true what would get a 70 year old man to walk away from the home he know and go to a land he had never seen, another man to take 120 years and build a boat of a rather large size,a man to get out of the boat onto the water during a storm,a Roman Centurion to go and humble himself before a Jewish Rabbi to ask for healing, a woman believing that if she just could reach out and touch the hem of Jesus garment that she could be healed,or 4 dudes going on top of a building and opening a hole in the roof and lowering their friend down before Jesus so he could be healed?
What so convinced them that what they were asking for was right and good and that it could be done? It defies rational thinking.
But yet they did so. They crossed the line between rational thinking and a faith that defies logic. What brought them to that point?

Sarah,
I think what initially brought these people to the point of having so much faith to do these things was that God was a reality in their lives. They didn't just have a head knowledge of God, they had personal experiences and encounters with Him through out their lives. Or they had seen God moving in others lives that made Him become real in their lives. One might say they had had some type of spiritual awakening. I say this because there is a big difference between having the knowledge of who God is and actually having a personal encounter with Him.

Quote from: Katrina_Reann on March 26, 2011, 11:34:52 AM
I think what initially brought these people to the point of having so much faith to do these things was that God was a reality in their lives. They didn't just have a head knowledge of God, they had personal experiences and encounters with Him through out their lives. Or they had seen God moving in others lives that made Him become real in their lives. One might say they had had some type of spiritual awakening. I say this because there is a big difference between having the knowledge of who God is and actually having a personal encounter with Him.

Katrina_Reann

I do appoligize as i realize i should have finished my thoughts when i posted those questions.

I do agree with that. (It's kind of the Paul Harvey and now you know the rest of the story kind of thing) It was one of the things i was not taught even though i had gone to a parochial school and a very ritualistic church. It doesn't make sense on the surface for people to just all of a sudden to go and do what they did with out the foundation being laid. And one of the things that is often forgotten is that people like Abraham and Noah did NOT have the bible. They had to learn either from others and or God Himself. Which means they walked,talked and listened to Him to be able to know Him and what He wanted to do in their lives and they saw what He did so when God asked them to do those things they knew who it was that was asking them to do it and they knew they could trust Him. Which then can lead to taking the big leaps of faith. But it has to come from the small steps of faith in the beginning.

To me it also means that the bible was meant to be a window into how God works in peoples lives and how He relates to us and how we are to relate to Him. It was never meant to take His place.

You know the last time i read the bible i did it from front to back. The old testament taught me about sins of the father being carried over to unsuspecting children / sons and it taught me that many people were running around wild trying to find some sort of God and even sacraficed their kids to Baal and were pretty messed up and needed God to be a sort of Cop to guide the people who had no idea what was what. Then for a short while people had his son with them and they denied him and now we who have the truth yet have to believe have to have faith because we do know what is right and we really don't need god to be a cop to us and guide us but as people do fall far away from his understandings people can become like they were when they sacraficed their kids to Baal. yes its amazing how these three stages of Gods understandings took so long for mankind to experience but now those who have learned and refuse the truth and the way i can only say may God have mercy on them. Now on the other hand those who have never heard or never were taught can not be expected to suffer any rath except for evil they may do as they know it to be evil. There are some who are rightous and don't know God and they will see God one day and not be judged for their ignorance. they will be judged for their actions like all. Like those who know and rejected and those who know and didn't reject but fell short in their daily life. yes today we have the bible but we also have the truth and are not like a crazed race of people seeking the truth and sacrificing our children to baal. But then again maybe those who knowingly get abortions knowing its wrong will too suffer the rath of God as they sacrafice their kids to abortion Dr's. So what did the Bible teach you?

The bible has taught me that God wants a relationship with people, He wants to be a part of our lives and He was willing to go so far that He sent His son to take our place to restore that relationship. God did set boundries in that it was a gift freely given and can only be accepted by faith. His ways are love,mercy,grace,patience and truth. I have learned that i can not on my own meet His standards. That the good deeds i do can not justify me and only by faith am i justified before Him.

I have learned that Jesus is my example and to learn to be like Him and show others that Jesus is the answer. I am to love God above all else and all other people as myself. God loves diversity. Even within a short time the church was starting to have problems and they needed to be corrected. He is judge and jury. How i live my life is between Him and me and i am not to place what He has shown me to be wrong for me as being wrong for someone else because for them it may not be wrong. (I do need to give an example  I know for me i can not listen to country music as it does cause me to get very depressed so it is not good for me but it may not bother someone else and i can not tell someone else they can not do it just because i am not to do it)

It still boggles my mind that the very God who made the universe would even want to know me.

I remember earnestly wishing God would "Change" me into a woman. Of course it came down knowing God loved me for who I am and that He was ok with me making the respective changes that needed to happen.

Quote from: Jerica on March 26, 2011, 11:30:11 PM
I remember earnestly wishing God would "Change" me into a woman. Of course it came down knowing God loved me for who I am and that He was ok with me making the respective changes that needed to happen.

Jerica,

I do hope you are doing well and healing quickly. You have been in my thoughts and prayers.

I do remember a time when i was married and i wanted so much to be whole i had gone to a number of healing services and was anointed with oil and prayed over. It was so hard for me to ask God that if i was truly a male to heal my mind and make me whole. Of course i did not get that answer.  I went a few more times and did the same thing.  I was so broke up inside because i did not even want to ask that. I finally did get an answer in the form of a still small voice and the answer i got was
a rebuke.

The answer is NO. You are asking for the wrong thing. You are NOT a man but a woman in a mans body. This has been allowed for my purposes and plans. My grace is sufficient for you.


I know He loves me and calls me by name. He calls me Sarah Michelle. How He is going to take me through i do not yet know. I do know that whatever His plans are for me it is going to be an adventure whichever way it goes.

Aww well I hope He shows you the way, girl! *hugs*

I believe He will show me the way.

Although of course i do have these thoughts go through my mind from time to time.

Lord, I know you never promised me a rose garden,and you did say that the way was going to be at times very difficult,i believe you also said you would try my faith as gold that is refined by fire to burn off the dross,i know you have stretched me out, laid me out flat at times, and held me together when it seemed so hopeless and i wanted to just give it all up. I do know that you know what is best for me. Lord is it too much to ask that it could be just a tiny bit easier?

Of course then the answer comes If i made it easier for you would you learn to trust me as much?

Sarah.

If it means anything to you, I asked the same.

I can't give you faith, any more than I can to those who reject it. But if you take Jerica's experience for example. The way was provided, she just needed to find it, work really hard to get there and go through with it.

In my case, I have followed a life plan, just a list of ultimate objectives. I had to work really hard and was given the strength and opportunities to do it.

Some may explain things more prosaically, that is their choice. I'm pretty sure there will be some bumpy roads ahead for Jerica. I know there are for me. But I won't lose faith that I will gain, in the end, what I deserve.

But whatever happens, I won't lose my faith.

Quote from: spacial on March 28, 2011, 05:50:42 PM
Sarah.

If it means anything to you, I asked the same.

I can't give you faith, any more than I can to those who reject it. But if you take Jerica's experience for example. The way was provided, she just needed to find it, work really hard to get there and go through with it.

In my case, I have followed a life plan, just a list of ultimate objectives. I had to work really hard and was given the strength and opportunities to do it.

Some may explain things more prosaically, that is their choice. I'm pretty sure there will be some bumpy roads ahead for Jerica. I know there are for me. But I won't lose faith that I will gain, in the end, what I deserve.

But whatever happens, I won't lose my faith.

Spacial,

It does make sense. I am not the only one who has gone through things. I think in some ways i may understand what you are going through with your thinking about your relationship with your wife. My wife also was a good balance for me she was very out going and in some ways she was the best part of me and i did not want to lose her. She was the one that started pulling me out of my shell and got me doing some things i never had the courage to do. Our families were not happy with us getting married at all and when i had reached the point where my GID had gotten really bad to the point of my wife even saying that we needed help because it was like living with another woman,her family was pushing her to leave me but she did stand by me but she also made it clear that for the time i had to put it aside for the marriage to last and it made it really hard and that's when i prayed that prayer.
Once i got the answer i then asked Him to help me be what she needed as i did not have it in me. It did get better as He did answer that prayer. And i know it might sound a bit strange but as at times being in a marriage sex is a part of it we got to the point where we prayed before and those were the only times in my life that sex was good.

She was my best friend,soul mate and confidant. And even though we had some very very rough times we also had some of the best times in my life. I do think that if the situation was different we would have been very good girl friends. (I do often think about her a lot at this time of year as it's very close to the date that she went home and it's at this time of year as i do miss her a lot)

God is the only one who can grow the faith and it's most often in the hard times. I just so often think that God wants so much more for us but it is so hard sometimes to get beyond what we have been taught by our parents and others. I keep getting the feeling that He wants us to start thinking outside the box and to place it into His hands so we can see what He can do.

It again seems like i have gotten close enough to take the next step and the money issues looked like they were going to fall into place by the end of the summer. Once again i do get to watch it grow wings and fly away. (Although why did it Have to be to the government) When your self employed you do get a double whammy at this time of year as you get both whatever taxes you ow for the previous year and also estimated taxes for the next year and both are due by April 15th. (Governmental thinking at it's best) :-\
It just gets hard when you see that finally you may be getting close to being able to take the next step and you can see the door close again. Sigh

The one thing i do take comfort in is that it will not be forever. Someday i will be either be able to go forward or i will be released from this body and it pass like a very bad dream ;)

Ok so after a very restless night. I think i am beginning to understand that fear can hinder faith. In some ways i am afraid to take the next step. Not so much about what people will say and do although that is part of it,but the old tapes are running through my mind i mean i feel like i have so screwed up my life and failed so many times what makes me think i could ever do this right? If there is any possible way to mess things up i could find a way. I know it's not true but yeti keep finding my thoughts going down this path. Which leads to fear and i am no longer living by faith but by fear. Fear can prevent someone from taking the next step. So the next step then becomes overcoming the fear. Some days i get so tired feeling like i am spending more time fighting myself then anything else.

 :)

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 17, 2011, 09:17:13 PM
I believe that Jesus also taught that our relationship with God was to be as personal as a little child before his loving daddy.

i was at a point that what i was seeing in the church was not what Jesus taught. I had seen more rejection,judgement and hypocrisy then i ever thought was possible. It also seemed that it was a formula and there was no reality.

The love that Jesus talked about was not evident.  I think now part of it was hoping to keep the GID under control. (Not really a good reason to try to become a pastor) After about a year of college i just couldn't do it anymore and i bolted from the church. Even so i kept being drawn back to Jesus not the organized church.

That was when i was about 21. (Between the ages of 20 and 24 i don't remember much only bits and pieces as there is a major block for some reason)

Keep seeking him apart from them. your patern is so close to mine. the body is of Christ, not of man.

I too, have asked God to change me into a woman.  However, since it has never happened in all these many past centuries to anyone I ever heard of (not including SRS) I dont figure he will do so for me.  Thats ok, though.  I have faith in God (Jesus) and love him regardless  of wether I am male or female. His will be done.  But, perhaps, if I ask him?  maybe he will give me a perfect female body when he ressurects me so I can live eternally as a female (that would be great!) but again, His will be done, not mine.

Quote from: Salina on May 03, 2011, 01:06:51 PM
But, perhaps, if I ask him?  maybe he will give me a perfect female body when he ressurects me so I can live eternally as a female (that would be great!) but again, His will be done, not mine.

I don't know what our bodies will look like in Heaven, but I think you will be fully who you are supposed to be, completely and 100%.  God looks at the heart, after all, so the heart is going to be what is reflected externally.

With prayer, God answers in many different ways.  He might answer directly, he might answer by sending us the help or giving us courage, he might answer with a delayed answer, he might tell us "no", or, literally, God only knows what else.

The most important part of prayer is an honesty.  It's not about making the prayers "right" or praying about the "right" thing.  It's about coming to God and opening your heart, spending time telling him how you feel and what you want, and then listening to His heart as He does the same.  I truly believe He would rather us come upset or with the "wrong" thoughts than to lie to him about what we think/feel, or, even worse, to not come at all.

Do I think God will miraculously fix most people's bodies with an instant miracle?  I don't - I think instant miracles are rare.  But that doesn't make asking wrong.  And there are plenty of miracles God can do that might not be miraculous healings, but are miraculous none-the-less and accomplish the same thing.  For some, I think staying alive another day is a miracle and something to be celebrated - and for God to be thanked when He gives us the strength.  For others, they have been blessed by being able to get the medical help they need through unexpected means.  Or it might even be leading someone to exactly the right therapist or surgeon - the person that understands them and their needs.  Or even giving a person the courage to admit to themselves who they are can be a miracle.  When God puts these in place, they shouldn't be diminished as if they are lessor works of God.

I pray for God to do miracles in people's lives, fixing a body if it doesn't match who they are.  I might be the person God responds to with a miraculous, instant healing of someone - that would be very awesome!  But it is also awesome to hear His heart about His children, and share, in the small and rather immature way I am capable, His heart, and to grow as a result.  It's just a nice bonus that as I'm sharing in God's heart, He is allowing me to share in His work by creatively answering my prayers, often in ways I don't expect.

Quote from: Salina on May 03, 2011, 01:06:51 PM
I too, have asked God to change me into a woman.  However, since it has never happened in all these many past centuries to anyone I ever heard of (not including SRS) I dont figure he will do so for me.  Thats ok, though.  I have faith in God (Jesus) and love him regardless  of wether I am male or female. His will be done.  But, perhaps, if I ask him?  maybe he will give me a perfect female body when he ressurects me so I can live eternally as a female (that would be great!) but again, His will be done, not mine.

For me i believe that just because it is not recorded does not mean that it has never happened. I do believe that others have gone before and have had it happen. But i do believe that they struggled for quite  a while. I think it is a bigger problem for us in Western society to believe that God can and will do it because it does go against "rational thought"  Let's face it time after time you hear missionaries to other cultures that are less bound by technology or western thought processes will tell of miracles that they have seen. In our society it's the doctors that are called the miracle workers.
It comes down to seeking the truth and God's will for me life. I do know i am not to seek it through human reasoning or methods. It has been a very real struggle which has as yet not come to it's end. I can say that He has brought me a long long way but i have so very far to go. The one thing i can say is that so far He has healed me mentally and emotionally applying the principles that Jesus gave us. I have been set free of the lies as i now know the truth i am a woman with a male body. I no longer am chained to those that hurt me by Him helping me to forgive those that hurt me. My relationships are now based on the truth so they are more secure and honest. I have been freed of most of the addictions. (Still working on the smoking but it is getting there) He did not change my body first as these are all detriments that needed to be dealt with first. The real question now is Can i let go and let Him do what He can do?

Quote from: Slanan on May 03, 2011, 11:44:16 PM
I don't know what our bodies will look like in Heaven, but I think you will be fully who you are supposed to be, completely and 100%.  God looks at the heart, after all, so the heart is going to be what is reflected externally.

With prayer, God answers in many different ways.  He might answer directly, he might answer by sending us the help or giving us courage, he might answer with a delayed answer, he might tell us "no", or, literally, God only knows what else.

The most important part of prayer is an honesty.  It's not about making the prayers "right" or praying about the "right" thing.  It's about coming to God and opening your heart, spending time telling him how you feel and what you want, and then listening to His heart as He does the same.  I truly believe He would rather us come upset or with the "wrong" thoughts than to lie to him about what we think/feel, or, even worse, to not come at all.

Do I think God will miraculously fix most people's bodies with an instant miracle?  I don't - I think instant miracles are rare.  But that doesn't make asking wrong.  And there are plenty of miracles God can do that might not be miraculous healings, but are miraculous none-the-less and accomplish the same thing.  For some, I think staying alive another day is a miracle and something to be celebrated - and for God to be thanked when He gives us the strength.  For others, they have been blessed by being able to get the medical help they need through unexpected means.  Or it might even be leading someone to exactly the right therapist or surgeon - the person that understands them and their needs.  Or even giving a person the courage to admit to themselves who they are can be a miracle.  When God puts these in place, they shouldn't be diminished as if they are lessor works of God.

I pray for God to do miracles in people's lives, fixing a body if it doesn't match who they are.  I might be the person God responds to with a miraculous, instant healing of someone - that would be very awesome!  But it is also awesome to hear His heart about His children, and share, in the small and rather immature way I am capable, His heart, and to grow as a result.  It's just a nice bonus that as I'm sharing in God's heart, He is allowing me to share in His work by creatively answering my prayers, often in ways I don't expect.

I agree i do not think with tis is something that will happen overnight. One major consequence which we do not think of is How would you prove who you are? To the world you would be a person with out an identity and unless you are one of the few with documented proof ie fingerprints or some other method of physical proof it would be very difficult to prove who you are. Which means a loss of job,family,assets and possible imprisonment as you would be viewed as a nut case who needs severe mental help or you may end up in prison for breaking and entering or even killed out right if someone in the household had a weapon and does not recognize you. Plus the other thing is if i were to wake up transformed would my mind be able to deal with it or would i totally freak out?

Then the question becomes what if God in His wisdom knows that the best way is over a period of time and not an instant change? Think about it boys and girls do not become men and women overnight and even with human methods it does NOT happen overnight. Why would it be any different for God to transform us over time?

After spending the last 4 weeks talking with my friend who has me going off on a tangent. What if we are missing something that to us may seem very small but is very important? Are we not to call upon the Name of the Lord?
It is stated both in the old and new testaments. But do i really do that? Is His name God or is that a term of definition of a particular type of being? It defines that i am not speaking to an angel,demon,animal or any other type of being. 
Even the ancients had names for their gods. How many thousands of names? There is
Ra,Shiva,Molech,Bel,Baal,Odin,Zeus etc etc

Then you have what i believe are His titles Lord,Master,Teacher Shepard etc which are used also for human beings so here again how can these be God's name? Then there are what i believe are descriptive titles given by people and not what God said was God's name. These all describe God's attributes but are they really God's name? You have Adonai,Elohim,El-Shaddai,Jehovah etc.

If it is true that we are to ask anything in His Name or to call upon His name and these above are not His name then whom am i really praying to? Can i really expect an answer if i am not using the gift we have been given to use for His honor and Glory? To call upon His name the very name He Himself gave us. Are we not to call upon the name of Yahweh or Yahuashua ?

Yahshua is the Hebrew name of the Son of God. It is what His father Yoceph (Joseph) and His mother Miriam (Mary) called Him when He was born, as recorded in Luke 1:31 and Matthew 1:21. The footnote for this verse in the NIV New Testament reads: Jesus is the Greek form of Joshua.

In Hebrew, as in old English, there is no "J" sound, and the name is more accurately rendered Yahshua. It means "I am powerful to save," since it is constructed from Yah, the name of the Father (as in Hallelujah, "Praise Yah"), which means "I AM," and shua, which means "power and authority to save."

We call Him Yahshua because that is truly His name.

I know it has been some time since I posted on this thread. It also bodes the question What does God ask of a woman that is different than a man? Can i accept those things? Is it not also that if God were to do so then is God asking me to not only be changed in the body but also to become a woman of virtue?

What if....there is no God?
The Bible is made up from people thousand of years ago, they also believed the earth was flat.
Than you have worries for nothing, waste of time and energy.
I'm not trying to insult someones religion but there is a possibility that it all isn't true.

Quote from: annette on December 02, 2011, 07:45:19 AM
What if....there is no God?
The Bible is made up from people thousand of years ago, they also believed the earth was flat.
Than you have worries for nothing, waste of time and energy.
I'm not trying to insult someones religion but there is a possibility that it all isn't true.

Please this is only my opinion but I see a major flaw with that line of thinking. If God does not exist then how is it that we value love,justice,beauty,friendship,etc when if God does not exist how do any of these things have anything to do with survival of the fittest? They would then seem to be flaws as if our only our only purpose to to procreate for the next generation. Why then would it be wrong for someone bigger than me to beat the crap out of me to take my lunch is wrong? He is bigger and stronger and he should be more fit to procreate so the species can survive.

Why then do we also spend so much time dealing with an issue that in the long term means nothing if all there is is this life. And does that not also mean that those who hate us are right in that then we are freaks of nature as there does not seem to be any purpose for the survival of human kind in being transgendered.

We do have values on love, justice etc.
But, if we take a closer look, is there so much love?
All those wars and hate.
BTW, there are a lot victims of love.
Is there so much justice?
Why do poor people have to pay for the richdom of the bank managers?
Why are children in the age of 6, 7 years, hard working as an adult with no future?
When there was a supreme being full of love and justice, would he or she let it go on?
I don't get it.
I understand that you will have a lot of support in life because of your religion, and that's a good thing.
I mean, everybody is (thankfully) right in their choices to believe what they want in western society.
But, it's still a believe, no one can prove for sure.

Kia Ora Sarah,

::) You make some interesting points, however...........

::) I'm sure you are aware of the proven universal laws of cause and effect...For 'this' to happen 'that' must happen-and for 'that' to happen-'this' must happen =evolution...

And even for a deist type of 'god' to exist [who was meant to have set things in motive then left it at that] this god would also be subjected to this universal law...For something to exist outside this fundamental law, the human mind could not possibly grasp/understand such a concept, as every thing we 'think' 'say' 'see' and 'do' evolves around this basic law...

Another way to look at things, is if such a creator being could actually exist[outside this law] then[according to the universal law of cause and effect of which all living things are bound] what we call reality is just an illusion-we live in a dream-like state...An artificial life form with programmed artificial meanings... All life exists only as a part of some god's elaborate dream so to speak....

::) So like Annette said before, what if the god concept itself came about through a 'thought' process involving a cause, a condition and an effect...Craving, clinging, the desire to attach to what is impermanent, planted the omnipotent, omniscient,  god seed which continually brings thoughts of hope and deliverance to some...

* And because this is a "What If" question, I had better add..."But I could be wrong !"

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Zenda on December 02, 2011, 05:21:45 PM
Kia Ora Sarah,

::) You make some interesting points, however...........

::) I'm sure you are aware of the proven universal laws of cause and effect...For 'this' to happen 'that' must happen-and for 'that' to happen-'this' must happen =evolution...

And even for a deist type of 'god' to exist [who was meant to have set things in motive then left it at that] this god would also be subjected to this universal law...For something to exist outside this fundamental law, the human mind could not possibly grasp/understand such a concept, as every thing we 'think' 'say' 'see' and 'do' evolves around this basic law...

Another way to look at things, is if such a creator being could actually existed[outside this law] then[according to the universal law of cause and effect of which all living things are bound] what we call reality is just an illusion-we live in a dream-like state...An artificial life form with programmed artificial meanings... All life exists only as a part of some god's elaborate dream so to speak....

::) So like Annette said before, what if the god concept itself came about through a 'thought' process involving a cause, a condition and an effect...Craving, clinging, the desire to attach to what's is impermanent, planted the omnipotent, omniscient,  god seed which continually brings thoughts of hope and deliverance to some...

Metta Zenda :)

Hello Zenda,

I do see where you are coming from. I can not agree that God is bound by the same natural laws that govern us. The One that created everything is greater than that which was created. The One who made the subatomic particles must also know how they work in such detail so that they all work in balance and the way they should. The One who created the DNA must know how it works when it is being replicated. The One who created the planets and the solar systems would know how they need to revolve around their stars and know where to place them so they orbit in a pattern that would keep them viable.

When looked at from this angle then the miracles that are spoken about are not only possible as God is greater than that which was created but for God they would be a simple matter for God. It would be a simple thing for God to change some molecules of water into wine,it would be a simple matter for God to heal a blind man,it would be a simple matter for God to drain the energy from a storm and calm the seas,and it would be a simple matter for God to raise someone from the dead. (Not so simple to my mind) And if I truly believe this then I must seek for the answers along this path as it will only happen in God's time and way.

Hi Sarah

This thread has covered an enourmous number of topics, many very deep.  I agree with you and others when you say we need not pray to them various titles of God.  Since I am gentile I prefer Jesus, but often praise him with the name of Yeshua. 

One point I need to be sure to make, is it is time to stop calling yourself a failure, or anything else like that.  You are a child of the most high God, and he never sees you as failure.  He loves you deeply and does not get pleasure when you see yourself different from how he sees you.  What he will yet accomplish thru your life, you can not see.  But you can see you are seeking him, fellowshipping with him, calling on him, and trying to learn his ways.  That does not sound like failure to me, but a child of God pushing her way thru a difficult world.

In terms of God's plan and your faith.  I have personally been disappointed a number of times in my earlier walk with The Lord when I felt something depended on my faith.  Put Him in the difficult position of having to show me I got it wrong.  It all depends on following Him and what he wants day be day.  My primary question would be how many times has he confirmed to you that he will supernaturally change your body??  I am in no way saying he can not, or even will not.  However when something is so far outside His normal way of doing things, He has no problem confirming over and over supernaturally what he wants you to do, or even a prophetic word about what He will do.  Whether he does change your body or give you the means to go do it, I have no doubt you will one day get there, and will be able to help many of His kids that need to hear of the faith and love you have for Him, and that even thru the dark valleys, as well as the mountain tops, He never left you.

love
Veronica

Hi Veronica,

I truly believe that the reason I keep and having to deal with these questions is that God is laying the foundation and I am being compelled to speak on these things as there are others that God is calling to also go down that path. One of the things is that there will be a point of no return,there can no longer be any turning back,no oops I've changed my mind because it's to hard or I don't like what's expected of me, or I don't like how it's turning out.
The commitment has to be all or nothing. The very nature of what is being asked can not be an in between because God does not do things half way.

Quote from: veronica nickie on December 02, 2011, 07:02:28 PM

In terms of God's plan and your faith.  I have personally been disappointed a number of times in my earlier walk with The Lord when I felt something depended on my faith.  Put Him in the difficult position of having to show me I got it wrong.  It all depends on following Him and what he wants day be day.  My primary question would be how many times has he confirmed to you that he will supernaturally change your body??  I am in no way saying he can not, or even will not.  However when something is so far outside His normal way of doing things, He has no problem confirming over and over supernaturally what he wants you to do, or even a prophetic word about what He will do.  Whether he does change your body or give you the means to go do it, I have no doubt you will one day get there, and will be able to help many of His kids that need to hear of the faith and love you have for Him, and that even thru the dark valleys, as well as the mountain tops, He never left you.

On this I won't go into very long. But I will touch on three things.

The first which is the one that blew me a way was one day my sister and i were on the front porch and we were talking about this and my 10 year old niece came over and said that God was going to make me a girl.

The second being in that I believe God spoke to me about studying Proverbs 31 about the woman of virtue.

The third being that at as I have one down this path at times when looking in the mirror I have seen a number of strands of hair grow as much as three inches within minutes. (The thing about that is the top of my head was as smooth as a bowling ball) Now the top of my head is covered with very fine down like hair which was not there.
My hips have enlarged going from a size 10 to a size 12. My breasts have also enlarged. (And a few other things which I will not go into here) and all without hormornes or rogaine or any other hair growth type of treatments.

I believe that God has also given me a glimpse of those who have gone before and there are far more then we realize who have been transformed and God wants to do so for so many more if only we would seek it in His way.
It has nothing to do with me so much as it is in Him and God wants to do this but we need to seek Him first and let Him work it out in us.

Sarah

It is true that we cannot prove the existance of God, but conversely we cannot prove it God does not exists either.
In the medical community the power of praying and beliving in God as and adjucnt to therapy and trement is accepted and encouraged.

Quote from: Jen61 on December 02, 2011, 10:48:43 PM
It is true that we cannot prove the existance of God, but conversely we cannot prove it God does not exists either.
In the medical community the power of praying and beliving in God as and adjucnt to therapy and trement is accepted and encouraged.

Kia Ora Jen,

::) I'm in total agreement with this truism that is the existence or non existence of a god can not be scientifically proven either way...After all how can science prove or disprove a 'faith' based belief ? It wouldn't be 'faith' based if they could....

::) However when it comes to prayers, they are no different to using an affirmation mantra[which by the way has nothing to do with miracles being performed by a supernatural being] ...Just mind over matter....

It's all in the mind Jen...

Metta Zenda :)
   

Quote from: SarahM777 on December 02, 2011, 06:26:55 PM
Hello Zenda,

I do see where you are coming from. I can not agree that God is bound by the same natural laws that govern us. The One that created everything is greater than that which was created. The One who made the subatomic particles must also know how they work in such detail so that they all work in balance and the way they should. The One who created the DNA must know how it works when it is being replicated. The One who created the planets and the solar systems would know how they need to revolve around their stars and know where to place them so they orbit in a pattern that would keep them viable.

When looked at from this angle then the miracles that are spoken about are not only possible as God is greater than that which was created but for God they would be a simple matter for God. It would be a simple thing for God to change some molecules of water into wine,it would be a simple matter for God to heal a blind man,it would be a simple matter for God to drain the energy from a storm and calm the seas,and it would be a simple matter for God to raise someone from the dead. (Not so simple to my mind) And if I truly believe this then I must seek for the answers along this path as it will only happen in God's time and way.

Kia Ora Sarah,

::) I speak of fact...You speak from faith...

::) I can only say "Good luck on your quest for truth and may you find whatever it is you are looking for!"

::) Happy Mindfulness- either way it's all in the mind...

Metta Zenda :)

Have you heard of Whitecross?

Whitecross - You will find it there (Audio) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9to7TAnmaI#)

Whitecross - No Second Chances (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7M46lGYthM#)

Kristyn

HI Sarah!

Very cool

I think you have probably already passed the point of no return thru your faith, commitment and experiences.
I did several years ago, but still have a wall of fire (family)  that I will have to go thru.  Once we commit to him we want to follow it is much like being in a river, the exact direction and speed not in our hands, but we will get there.

Veronica

Hello Kristyn,

I have heard of Whitecross. I only know of a few of their songs. One of them happens to be No Second Chances.

I am not sure how to explain this but I will try to do the best I can. One of the things we can do before picking groups or a musician to listen to would be to ask God to give us a check (Kind of a stop sign don't go there) in our minds and spirits if they do not line up with God's truth. There have been some groups more so lately that started out appearing as if they were speaking the truth but after sometime they walked away from it. One or two of them became fairly popular. They had the gimmicks and the flashy show style but they had very little substance in what they said and their walk did not match their talk.

Hi Veronica,

I saw your post and I do want to come back to it. I am taking my mom out for a while this morning and a bit this early afternoon. I would like to spend a little bit more time than just a quick post.

Sarah

Quote from: veronica nickie on December 03, 2011, 07:51:42 AM

Very cool

I think you have probably already passed the point of no return thru your faith, commitment and experiences.
I did several years ago, but still have a wall of fire (family)  that I will have to go thru.  Once we commit to him we want to follow it is much like being in a river, the exact direction and speed not in our hands, but we will get there.

I was thinking about this earlier today. It came to mind to me that three of my brothers and sisters (Which have been against me are no longer around here) The last of the three moved about a year ago. They are now far enough away and they have very little to do with me now.  Two did have some violent tendencies. Not a good mix.

The other thing is most of the fear is gone. (It's still a work in progress) I think to often it's the fear that keeps us from moving forward. If we are holding onto Him and His word there is no need for the fear.  ;)

Interesting topic... What if God... i mean...
I guess being born male is just like a deformation an handicap, if God doesn't heal people living their life on wheel chair why would he do something for me?
I am agnostic, i believe there's something more than science, but I don 't believe it can contraddict the truths of reality, it is just a superior pourpous... The meaning we can choose for our life. That something we can give to the people that will live after us.
The same thing that differs between a man and an animal, our intelligence has grown up over the limits of the simple fight for exsistence ( by the way I do believe in evolution ) so much that we can overcome our limits making the world a bett place and who knows maybe perpetrating our culture and improving it  trough ages and spacial distances.

Sarah,

I think you are well on your way to becoming a wise and faithful servant of the lord and that touches my heart, thank you.

Huggs

Emilmy

Quote from: Emily Ray on December 04, 2011, 06:52:12 PM

I think you are well on your way to becoming a wise and faithful servant of the lord and that touches my heart, thank you.

Hello Emily,

Thank you for the encouragement. We do need to hear that from time to time. I still have so far to go. It's not about me it's about God can do with a broken,messed up wreck of a human being. At times I am hoping that my attitude becomes just like this. (They sing it so much better that I can say it)



It's not that I have it down yet. God just wants me to keep going forward. God will correct me when I need it,encourage me when I need to hear that also, and is incredibly patient as long as I do not become stubborn and unyielding. (That is another matter which leads to rebellion and that is NOT a good road to go down)

Sarah


(Yes I do really like music a lot and when I was younger I had a couple of jobs that I drove a lot soooooo.... I did listen to a lot of Christian music)

More questions.

Going onward. Thinking a bit more on this do we miss a pattern that Jesus uses when He healed others? One of the things that is missed is that often Jesus not only healed but He also forgave the sins. (It wasn't in every case) But the forgiveness came first and not the healing. James himself also writes about this in his letter.

James 5 NIV

13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
17 Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. 18 Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

Using this as an example only can I expect that God would heal me of lung cancer if I continue to smoke or does this mean that the smoking must be dealt with first? Going on is it possible that some of the things that come out of the TS issues be preventing God from doing so?

My feelings on this particular verse are a mixture of confusion. I think it is the basis for the whole Exodus movement. I think it is important to recognize that Elija's prayer only stopped the rain because it was in alignment with Gods will. If it was Gods will for me to be healed of my transness then he would have done it by now. I now realize that He wants me to be trans. He did make me this way.

The deciples once asked Jesus if a blind man was blind because of his sin or his parents. Jesus replied neither, but that the glory of God might be revealed through him. He went on to heal the man. While all sickness can be traced back to sin as its origen. It may not always be individual sin. Original sin plays an important part in transness I feel. I also believe that Gods glory can be revealed through our lives.

Huggs

Emily

Quote from: Emily Ray on December 09, 2011, 12:46:44 PM
My feelings on this particular verse are a mixture of confusion. I think it is the basis for the whole Exodus movement. I think it is important to recognize that Elija's prayer only stopped the rain because it was in alignment with Gods will. If it was Gods will for me to be healed of my transness then he would have done it by now. I now realize that He wants me to be trans. He did make me this way.

The deciples once asked Jesus if a blind man was blind because of his sin or his parents. Jesus replied neither, but that the glory of God might be revealed through him. He went on to heal the man. While all sickness can be traced back to sin as its origen. It may not always be individual sin. Original sin plays an important part in transness I feel. I also believe that Gods glory can be revealed through our lives.

Huggs

Emily

If I made it sound like I was saying that TS is a sin I do apologize. I do not believe that it is. I could never before understand that if the world does not work perfectly anymore or that our bodies do not function perfectly then how is it possible that anyone can say that this is the one and only area of our lives that has not been affected by the brokeness of this world? It just does not make any sense to me.

What I was trying to say was that is it possible that there is something that we may be doing that may be doing is the very thing that may be preventing God from transforming our bodies?

Quote from: SarahM777 on December 10, 2011, 09:13:48 PM
If I made it sound like I was saying that TS is a sin I do apologize. I do not believe that it is. I could never before understand that if the world does not work perfectly anymore or that our bodies do not function perfectly then how is it possible that anyone can say that this is the one and only area of our lives that has not been affected by the brokeness of this world? It just does not make any sense to me.

What I was trying to say was that is it possible that there is something that we may be doing that may be doing is the very thing that may be preventing God from transforming our bodies?

Or maybe stopping to search some interpretation of our contemporary reality in  a book written two thousands year ago, and changed by bigotry and misunderstandings as the ones you are doing now. Yup, this could be a way to actually learn of ourselves and our reality.

Quote from: Sweet Blue Girl on December 11, 2011, 09:14:27 AM
Or maybe stopping to search some interpretation of our contemporary reality in  a book written two thousands year ago, and changed by bigotry and misunderstandings as the ones you are doing now. Yup, this could be a way to actually learn of ourselves and our reality.

But if as a Christian I say I believe that God can heal and transform me in a divine intervention, then I must look at this as a possability. Wether I am confined to a wheel chair,dealing with cancer, Aids, or T/S God still has a standard and will deal with those things that may prevent His divine healing if I am truly seeking that. Rage,envy,lust,greed,unforgiveness,bitterness and other things I may be harboring in my heart that have not been dealt with and also those things that we may have not yet done that needs to be done all may be things that may prevent Him from doing so till they are dealt with. And the only way to truly be able to see those things is two fold one is time in the bible but it MUST be balanced with a whole lot more time walking and talking with God.

The layers are deep and it is a very high mountain that is being asked to be moved. The kind of faith that is need to ask God to move this mountain is the kind that can only come from spending time with God so that it can grow to the point that I can not only know that God is able but also that if it is asked that God will do it.

Quote from: SarahM777 on December 16, 2011, 07:53:50 AM
But if as a Christian I say I believe that God can heal and transform me in a divine intervention, then I must look at this as a possability. Wether I am confined to a wheel chair,dealing with cancer, Aids, or T/S God still has a standard and will deal with those things that may prevent His divine healing if I am truly seeking that. Rage,envy,lust,greed,unforgiveness,bitterness and other things I may be harboring in my heart that have not been dealt with and also those things that we may have not yet done that needs to be done all may be things that may prevent Him from doing so till they are dealt with. And the only way to truly be able to see those things is two fold one is time in the bible but it MUST be balanced with a whole lot more time walking and talking with God.

The layers are deep and it is a very high mountain that is being asked to be moved. The kind of faith that is need to ask God to move this mountain is the kind that can only come from spending time with God so that it can grow to the point that I can not only know that God is able but also that if it is asked that God will do it.

You're asking for a miracle. But miracles do not have place in this world.
Or if you believe so strongly in them then...
You ask, basing your faith on antique scriptures, but the same old Book contains ( Sodoma ) the most precompcepts that have lead our difference to be segregated, annihilated, for sure not elegible for miracles

I guess either way you think about it, your ruining your time in wrong efforts.

We are our only saviours.

God, if you want to call him with this name, is inside us, in the efforts we do for living better and making the world better ( and the two things come togheter ).

I prayed a lot when I was child, to be changed. I believed in God. Nothing changed, and how can you believe there's someone more pure than a child with his/her broken heart praying? For sure there are no prayers now that can change me, cause of course I am not a pure child anymore, this is just another proof that prays are a good way to feel in touch with God, but only actions and perseverance can change our world!

So please dont ruin your life, i dont know how old are you, dont loose the time I ve lost.

I do want to apologize for not responding earlier but I have been in a very deep and dark place for the past 4 months. (Still not out of it but it is a bit better today)

The real question is do I trust God with this or not? It is implied when Jesus speaks of believing that it is much deeper than just saying we believe it,trusting implies acting on that belief. The two go hand in hand.

If God chooses not to do so in this life can I be content with knowing that the promise is to work this out for my good even though it may not seem so to me? Enough though it may involve pain,suffering,misunderstanding and heartache that I will submit to God's leading in my life and trust God that in the end this is not forever.
That in the end when God takes me home that I will be freed from this and will be the woman that God intended me to be.  In the course of eternity what is 100 years? At worse case it is something that I will deal with for a short period of time and it will be no more and I will be freed from this in God's way and time.

It's another learning lesson but one that is only learned through going through it and it comes down to a choice. Can I get to the point of no matter what situation I am in or hardship I am going through can I also make the choice of saying this very thing?

Blessed be your name  by tree63


Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord,Blessed be your name

Sarah i am happy your back and feeling better hugs love Danielle :)

Thanks Danielle,

I really needed to hear that. (I like your name)  :)

I just got hammered with a number of things and I just felt like it was way to much to deal with and I was so close to chucking it all. I mean how much does one have to keep going through? When does it ever end? I am just soooooo...
tired and worn out and I just want to go to sleep. It just seems like there are just too many mountains that are just seem way too high. The icing on the cake is one of my best friends and the first one outside the family that knew passed on in that time frame and the week he passed on I was being prompted to call but I didn't do it and it's really tearing me up.
I know I am going to get through this but it just doesn't feel like it right now.

I just have to write this down if I don't I'm going to go looney tunes. Where do I start?

About 5 months ago the site I use for my business made a major change. As it is a smaller site there was a 30 % drop off in business. Before this I was getting by and was able to set some aside for the estimated taxes. But it dropped off so much that over the last 3 months I am barely scrapping by and don't have a penny for next months taxes yet. Even with running major sales it has not helped much at all.

I then find out that my helpers work has fallen off so much that I need to rework 13,000 listings that are now running and I also have to rework 12,000 items that have not been listed. Add to that there is almost 100,000 items that still have to be worked up and listed.

It would not be so bad if this was the first and only time that I have had to redo some listings but this is the 4th time in 8 years. The first time Ebay did me a "favor" by ending them all because my account got hijacked. The second time was because my sister took a bunch of the inventory. The third was the best of all Ebay ended over 10,000 of them because of "Intellectual property rights" despite the fact that nothing I sell has any intellectual property rights attached.

Mom is starting to go down hill and it is being noticed by others besides myself.  It's not going to be much longer before I will have to take on the running of the whole household along with all of the cooking and cleaning. The outside was let go for over 3 years on a 3 + acre parcel other then very basic mowing and some very light tree triming. The flower beds and garden are in really bad shape. 3 of my siblings do want to have anything to do with either my mom or myself so no help there. If my other brother who lives 10 minutes away would even just once in a while take mom for a day it would help.

The only place she wants to go other than shopping is a church that i don't fit in and feel like I am slowly dying in. I can't keep her from there as her only living friends are there and she can no longer drive. Being an outsider there will be no help coming from that end.

Still only half way done with cleaning my fathers left over crap. Still have 2 sheds and 1/2 of the garage and 1/2 of the basement to clean out.

With all the things that seem to be done now it just seems like the one thing I really need to have taken care of has to get shelved again.

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 18, 2012, 05:41:43 AM
I just have to write this down if I don't I'm going to go looney tunes. Where do I start?

About 5 months ago the site I use for my business made a major change. As it is a smaller site there was a 30 % drop off in business. Before this I was getting by and was able to set some aside for the estimated taxes. But it dropped off so much that over the last 3 months I am barely scrapping by and don't have a penny for next months taxes yet. Even with running major sales it has not helped much at all.

I then find out that my helpers work has fallen off so much that I need to rework 13,000 listings that are now running and I also have to rework 12,000 items that have not been listed. Add to that there is almost 100,000 items that still have to be worked up and listed.

It would not be so bad if this was the first and only time that I have had to redo some listings but this is the 4th time in 8 years. The first time Ebay did me a "favor" by ending them all because my account got hijacked. The second time was because my sister took a bunch of the inventory. The third was the best of all Ebay ended over 10,000 of them because of "Intellectual property rights" despite the fact that nothing I sell has any intellectual property rights attached.

Mom is starting to go down hill and it is being noticed by others besides myself.  It's not going to be much longer before I will have to take on the running of the whole household along with all of the cooking and cleaning. The outside was let go for over 3 years on a 3 + acre parcel other then very basic mowing and some very light tree triming. The flower beds and garden are in really bad shape. 3 of my siblings do want to have anything to do with either my mom or myself so no help there. If my other brother who lives 10 minutes away would even just once in a while take mom for a day it would help.

The only place she wants to go other than shopping is a church that i don't fit in and feel like I am slowly dying in. I can't keep her from there as her only living friends are there and she can no longer drive. Being an outsider there will be no help coming from that end.

Still only half way done with cleaning my fathers left over crap. Still have 2 sheds and 1/2 of the garage and 1/2 of the basement to clean out.

With all the things that seem to be done now it just seems like the one thing I really need to have taken care of has to get shelved again.

Hey i totally understand part of your plight because i too take care of my 89 yr old mother. As for your business issues i do not have them. However, i am a farmer and do have to manage thousands of plants. You will be blessed for your good works. Keep knowing that life here on earth is but a dream of the true spiritual world from whence we came and to where we will return.  Your home above is waiting as is mine but we have to serve below and wait until that time. Hgs Danielle

PS: I hope your physical ailments are feeling better

Quote from: Amazon D on March 18, 2012, 07:37:08 AM
Hey i totally understand part of your plight because i too take care of my 89 yr old mother. As for your business issues i do not have them. However, i am a farmer and do have to manage thousands of plants. You will be blessed for your good works. Keep knowing that life here on earth is but a dream of the true spiritual world from whence we came and to where we will return.  Your home above is waiting as is mine but we have to serve below and wait until that time. Hgs Danielle

PS: I hope your physical ailments are feeling better

Being a farmer is no picnic either. You do have the weather to contend with though. It's not easy to take care of our elderly loved ones. My mom is only 78 but she is slowing down quite a bit. I know this has been a big part of the depression, I see all these other things that need to be taken care of and I don't know how much time I have to get those things done before the time comes when taking care of her is going to be the main thing that needs to be done.

It was a bit weird this morning but I got this image of what it seems like what it seems like I looking at. I see this picture of a bunch of sand dunes that need to be moved but it feels like all I have been given is a teaspoon when what I really need is an earth mover. I know it's going to get easier over time as I am coming out of the deepest part of the depression. (I still have a ways to go) Right now I just need to keep moving and as it starts getting better I will be able to make a better plan how to work this stuff down.

With everything else I haven't noticed the physical part. :-\

I have been listening to this song a lot lately.

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 19, 2012, 04:21:02 PM

Being a farmer is no picnic either. You do have the weather to contend with though. It's not easy to take care of our elderly loved ones. My mom is only 78 but she is slowing down quite a bit. I know this has been a big part of the depression, I see all these other things that need to be taken care of and I don't know how much time I have to get those things done before the time comes when taking care of her is going to be the main thing that needs to be done.

It was a bit weird this morning but I got this image of what it seems like what it seems like I looking at. I see this picture of a bunch of sand dunes that need to be moved but it feels like all I have been given is a teaspoon when what I really need is an earth mover. I know it's going to get easier over time as I am coming out of the deepest part of the depression. (I still have a ways to go) Right now I just need to keep moving and as it starts getting better I will be able to make a better plan how to work this stuff down.

With everything else I haven't noticed the physical part. :-\

I have been listening to this song a lot lately.

I will lift my eyes - Bebo Norman


God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now
God be near, calm my fear
and take my doubt
your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in


I will lift my eyes
to the maker, of the mountains
I can't climb
I will lift my eyes
to calmer, of the oceans
raging wild
I will lift my eyes
to the healer, of the hurt
I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to you

God my God let mercy sing
her melody over me

God right here all I bring is all of me

Your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes
to the maker, of the mountains
I can't climb
I will lift my eyes
to calmer, of the oceans
raging wild
I will lift my eyes
to the healer, of the hurt
I hold inside

cause you are
and you were
and you will be forever
The lover I need to save me
Cause you fashioned the earth
and Hold it together
God so hold me now

I will lift my eyes
to the maker, of the mountains
I can't climb
I will lift my eyes
to calmer, of the oceans
raging wild
I will lift my eyes
to the healer, of the hurt
I hold inside

God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now

Many of us are caregivers to our parents. Look to it as a blessing not a curse. Your a spiritual being so worry not for all things here on earth because our time here is but a drop in the bucket of our true existence..

Quote from: Amazon D on March 19, 2012, 05:18:13 PM
Many of us are caregivers to our parents. Look to it as a blessing not a curse. Your a spiritual being so worry not for all things here on earth because our time here is but a drop in the bucket of our true existence..

It's not so much that, it's I already know how tough it is to handle these things all at the same. It is so uncanny that this time is so much like the last time.  I already went through this in 2008-2010 a little different but not by much. Ebay crashed my listings and I had to move them to a different site. My sister passed on in 2009 and in the meantime my father was needing care and needed to be driven everywhere and was more than a handful to deal with. In 2010 he passed on.  I know how difficult it was that time through it.

Less than 1 1/2 years later it seems like it's starting all over again. I would really prefer God willing that I can deal with some of these things before mom gets to the point she can no longer do the things she is doing now.
It would just make it a bit easier.

Quote from: SarahM777 on March 21, 2012, 07:24:39 PM
It's not so much that, it's I already know how tough it is to handle these things all at the same. It is so uncanny that this time is so much like the last time.  I already went through this in 2008-2010 a little different but not by much. Ebay crashed my listings and I had to move them to a different site. My sister passed on in 2009 and in the meantime my father was needing care and needed to be driven everywhere and was more than a handful to deal with. In 2010 he passed on.  I know how difficult it was that time through it.

Less than 1 1/2 years later it seems like it's starting all over again. I would really prefer God willing that I can deal with some of these things before mom gets to the point she can no longer do the things she is doing now.
It would just make it a bit easier.

Well let me say a prayer for you and her. hugs Danielle

Thanks Danielle,

It's a transition time. It's going to be learning to make the best use of the time and being able to do some things better and faster and letting go of the things that are unimportant. The question how do I get from point A to point B? For example why is there 2 1/2 acres of lawn to cut when at least 1 acre is not a good area of the yard to cut and no one sees it? Why not turn it back into wildflowers and trees? It would look better and save a lot of time and energy.
Take the sheds,if they get cleaned out,I can take the lawn and garden stuff and put that in the shed,and then the car can go into the garage. The car goes into the garage,and then mom doesn't have to try to walk to the car,in the weather during the winter. Less chance of her falling. If we have to leave quickly, the car doesn't have to be scraped off.
If I figure out a way to make the business more efficient it will help. Even though it's struggling right now there are some advantages to having it. My mom is not left alone during the day,I don't have a human boss to get on my case about taking to much time off for appointments or such,it can be set aside for a time if need be,and it can be done anytime during the day or night,and it can be much more flexable.

I know it hasn't helped looking at the whole picture. I need the wisdom to break it down into smaller areas and deal with it that way.

It's just a bump in the road so to speak right now,but God will get me through this.

Hugs
Sarah

Tell mom to save $ your letting 1 acre got back to nature and you will eventually raise bees for honey. You answered the rest. hgs have fun.

So once again another question. It seems like such a little one but could it have ramifications that one is unaware of? What if there is a task that needs to be accomplished first,as one is today? What then is that task?

you worry too much. god doesn't give us any secret tasks that we must accomplish before this or that can happen. everything that happens, will be according to his will, and there is nothing we humans can do to understand the reasons god has for letting things happen the way they do. god wants us to be happy, and do things that are good for us and each other. he tries to guide us through his words and angels (those are often another human being who happens to say the words you need to hear at the right time), but it is not easy, since it is typically human to look for and get lost in inexistent deeper meanings, or right out refuse to take good advice.

having read through the whole thread now, i have something i want to say about miracles. they do happen, but often not the way we humans think would be the best way. in the christian community where i belong, there are "healers" who will read special prayers they have learned to ask god to heal people who we think need it. mostly taking away pain or stopping blood. and the ways in which it happens can be mysterious.

once a life was saved because someone at the scene of an accident knew the words that can stop blood. he'd learned them purely by accident, but oddly remembered them for years until this day when they were needed. other times people have had a toothache healed, and got told to go straight to the dentist since only the pain is gone, not the cavity. but nowadays many healers refuse to heal toothaches because it turns out that healed toothache never returns, and many have gone to the dentist years after and found out that their teeth were rotting without any pain to warn them of it. if they were wise they'd have gone to the dentist every year for a checkup, but instead they relied on a pain that got taken away.

what i mean to say with that is something like, you don't know the full consequences of what you're asking for. so you should trust in god that his answer is the right one for you, and go on living the best you can in faith that you will reach the final destination, to finally come back to him who has created us. the right to be with our father in heaven, and get his gifts in abundance is not one that we can ever earn in this life, but what we get are only the gifts of his limitless love

whatever i'm trying to say, the girl in this video says it much better:
http://youtu.be/WyB6ZbGJSUQ?t=36m40s (http://youtu.be/WyB6ZbGJSUQ?t=36m40s)

Quote from: Taka on November 01, 2012, 08:47:34 AM
you worry too much.

You're right,I do worry too much. Not that I wanted to hear that. What it comes down to is I'm afraid. I know what's it from,I feel like I am just a total failure. It just seems like everything I touch turns out bad. (I know it's not true but it's so hard to keep fighting it)

Quote from: Taka on November 01, 2012, 08:47:34 AM
god doesn't give us any secret tasks that we must accomplish before this or that can happen. everything that happens, will be according to his will, and there is nothing we humans can do to understand the reasons god has for letting things happen the way they do. god wants us to be happy, and do things that are good for us and each other. he tries to guide us through his words and angels (those are often another human being who happens to say the words you need to hear at the right time), but it is not easy, since it is typically human to look for and get lost in inexistent deeper meanings, or right out refuse to take good advice.

I do apologize,I was not clear on that,I meant more in something that I need to let go of that I am still trying to hang onto.

I struggle with God wanting me to be happy. Some how some where I learned a very bad mind set on that. I picked up that happiness is something that is only for "special" people not for the likes of me.

Quote from: Taka on November 01, 2012, 08:47:34 AM

what i mean to say with that is something like, you don't know the full consequences of what you're asking for. so you should trust in god that his answer is the right one for you, and go on living the best you can in faith that you will reach the final destination, to finally come back to him who has created us. the right to be with our father in heaven, and get his gifts in abundance is not one that we can ever earn in this life, but what we get are only the gifts of his limitless love

True

Quote from: SarahM777 on November 01, 2012, 08:06:21 PM
You're right,I do worry too much. Not that I wanted to hear that. What it comes down to is I'm afraid. I know what's it from,I feel like I am just a total failure. It just seems like everything I touch turns out bad. (I know it's not true but it's so hard to keep fighting it)

I do apologize,I was not clear on that,I meant more in something that I need to let go of that I am still trying to hang onto.

I struggle with God wanting me to be happy. Some how some where I learned a very bad mind set on that. I picked up that happiness is something that is only for "special" people not for the likes of me.


True

Matthew 5:9-11
New International Version (NIV)

9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Quote from: SarahM777 on December 02, 2011, 08:30:22 AM
Please this is only my opinion but I see a major flaw with that line of thinking. If God does not exist then how is it that we value love,justice,beauty,friendship,etc when if God does not exist how do any of these things have anything to do with survival of the fittest? They would then seem to be flaws as if our only our only purpose to to procreate for the next generation. Why then would it be wrong for someone bigger than me to beat the crap out of me to take my lunch is wrong? He is bigger and stronger and he should be more fit to procreate so the species can survive.

A little learning is a dangerous thing indeed..

Seriously, read the Selfish Gene. Evolution is about cooperation within groups. It's about survival of the fittest of the 'organism', whether it's a beehive, an ants nest or a human social organism as large as a family or community. It does not relate to the fitness of individual organisms.

Survival of the fittest is a phrase that comes out of a quaint English writing style, now long forgotten.  What Darwin really meant was 'survival of the most adaptable.'  But I've always thought that out of every 100 people dissin' Darwin, maybe - MAYBE - one of them has actually read it.

And survival in a TIC (Total Industrial Collapse) situation would largely depend on your social skills, because all that 'rugged individualism' is just so much bull->-bleeped-<-.  Survival will depend upon communities, and getting to be a part of a survivable community is going to be at a premium, so it's going to be a long line of people selling themselves ahead of you.

Quote from: Brooke777 on November 02, 2012, 10:14:09 AM

Matthew 5:9-11
New International Version (NIV)

9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Thanks

Perhaps I have come to realize that for me,can I ever be truly satisfied with only an alteration of my body? Would it only be for me a temporary fix so to speak? Can any doctor or amount of science at this point give me the one thing I long so much for in the way it was meant to be? Can any of them take me to the point of where it would even be possible to be pregnant? To be able to conceive and give birth? If not then they all fall short of an incredibly high mountain that none of them can help me cross. It leaves me but one and one option only. What have I lost by doing so? I am no worse off than where I was yesterday or where I am today. I will face that mountain and and even if the answer is no,I will go for broke,and give it all I have in me. At the very least I will be able to take one thing from it,I will have no regrets seeking it this way.