Seven years ago when I was 18 I started growing my nails, and I kept them long until coming out last year.
My nails were kept at about 2/3" long, but never painted. It was all a part of forcing myself to learn to feminize my mannerisms, because with those nails I had to be careful about what I did, so naturally it was feminizing.
Last night I dreamt that they grew back out overnight, and that I was suddenly moving about and looking very Elvira-like, clawing the walls and wagging my ass, it felt as if someone had taken control of my body. Then suddenly I seemed to gain back control, threw off all those female clothes and stuff and cut my nails but they just kept growing back out in front of my eyes... Woke up in cold sweat and total panic..
I have the same type of dream except it's my hair that grows back or all of a sudden I have hooped ear rings.
When it happens I am around other people, I don't know if yours was or not, but if so I think it has to do with fearing that people might see 'right through you' like fear of not passing or fear of having someone find out your past of what you used to look like.
I had similar bad dreams last night I attribute it to my dinner consisting of cheese onions and chili's. :/
My facial hair grew back much thicker and it would grow at a much faster rate so obviously my passablity was severely impaired with pepole pointing and laughing. I tried tearing it out to stop it but that just somehow made it longer.
In addition to this I then seemed to undergo some kind of rapid male pattern baldness where all my hair fell out.
*shudder* I CERTAINLY didn't forget to take my hormone blockers this morning.
It's a painful shared experience where we were forcefully transformed against our will. it hurt us so much most of us went crazy and nearly died... it's logical that we'd be terrified of it happening again. And such fears would prowl our dreams.
In my nightmares, I tend to be a feminine girl, the kind that dies in horror movies. Sometimes, I have to dress up as a girl and perform on a stage, with the audience being hideous and grotesque beings that will kill me unless I perform to their liking. Sometimes, they make me do sexual stuff for their pleasure, and those dreams are among the worst. Another nightmare is that millions of small spiders are crawling out of all of my orifices and all over my body, as if I was filled with them.
I get the facial hair nightmares too, or at least I used to. Those are always a relief to wake up from! Heck, for that matter at one year post-op I still have dreams where the surgery never happened or was somehow incomplete and I'm thinking oh noooooooo.
QuoteSometimes, I have to dress up as a girl and perform on a stage, with the audience being hideous and grotesque beings that will kill me unless I perform to their liking. Sometimes, they make me do sexual stuff for their pleasure, and those dreams are among the worst.
Oh man. :( That sucks so much.
Mine are usually someone trying to catch me, just because I'm female. In fact I just woke up from one where I was about to go into the house, then realized a man I didn't know was sitting at the table, waiting for me. So I started running like hell, came back a little later after calling the police, and her was still there and all my family was dead. He said "I only wanted the girl..."
I also have dreams where I get sexually abused as a female, but I have never worried about things like that in real life, so I guess it's about having a female body at all when you're a guy feels a bit like being abused by nature.
Shortly after I had started telling family about being trans during the summer I dreamt that journalists started calling me out of the blue, somehow they had gotten my phone number.. They wanted to interview me and expose me all over the news, and I kept simply hanging up on them, until I finally snapped and yelled at one of them and said they had no business harassing me like that, and then I noticed that the one I was yelling at through the phone was sitting beside me at a family dinner, and it was my aunt.. So I asked her why she called me when she was sitting right beside me...
But anyway, there was a spinoff on that dream then - like I had to be shown what would have happened if I actually spoke to one of the "journalists" earlier... he had asked to meet me, and once I met up with him several guys attacked me att tried to drug me and drive me away. They meant to sell me as a sex slave before I had enough time to "ruin my body with testosterone" as they said..
That dream was just odd.
QuoteThey meant to sell me as a sex slave before I had enough time to "ruin my body with testosterone" as they said..
Shudder. I'm glad I'm not the only one who dreams like this.
I had a dream that after shaving my hair grew back furry all over my legs. It was ewok length rather than Chewbacca length and very thick. I was quite happy when I woke up and discovered that it hadn't happened!
My nightmares are when I dream i'm a woman, the nightmare about it is that I wake up to find i'm still a man, I always spend the rest of the day depressed & miserable.
Since i've started dressing as a woman i've developed a new nightmare of getting to work & realising that i've still got my nail varnish on & my fellow workers all point & laugh at me, this may be because they are the only group of people in my life who don't know about what's going on in my life.
Last week I recieved my appointment for my first psych evaluation & that night I dreamt that they told me that I couldn't have the sex change & would have to continue my life trapped in my male body, now that's a true nightmare!