I'm trying to figure out the best way to come out to a pretty close minded family, and I'd prefer cutting ties to not be an option lol, so I was curious if anybody had an experience they'd be willing to share?
Specifically:
What were your expectations/What did you expect their reactions to be like?
How did you decide to go about it and why?
What were their actual reactions to this, and did your method prove useful/work well and why?
If you could give any advice about how best to help a family with limited views even begin to understand enough to accept that would be fabulous. Religious content not really necessary, but if it helps explain your decisions by all means :)
Thanks in advance!
ps- sorry if a thread like this already exists!
I don't suggest that anyone come out the way I did. For many years I kept my feelings and cd'ing a secret from everyone. When I was in my mid twenties I decided to come out to my sister but the only way I could think of at the time was to show her. So I went to her house and told her I needed to show her something but needed a few minutes in private to prepare things. So she let me use one of their bedrooms. I had brought some of my girly clothes with me and quickly changed into them and walked out of the room. It was a shock to my sister and she could not deal with it and told me to go back and change clothes. This came as total shock to her. She said she loved me but she could not deal with me dressed that way. It has taken us years of talking for her to come to accept this side of me. And even now it is still only partial acceptance. She says she loves and accepts me for who I am but to this day she still doesn't want to see or deal with me as the woman I feel I am. As I said I do not suggest coming out this way to anyone. It is hard enough for our loved ones to come grips with who we truly are with out the shock and awe factor being a part of it.
My advice would be to get as much info gathered up as you can about cd/tg/ts that explains all the realms of being transgendered to present them with when the time comes. Don't be too hasty in coming out, think things thru because often things don't go the way we hope they will. And don't just flop all the info down in front of them and say this is me. Because again that brings in unnecessary shock and awe. I suggest just sitting down with them and being honest with them. Start off by saying there is something I am really struggling with. I don't know how you are going to take this but I feel I really need to talk to you about it. Then take a deep breath and SLOWLY start to go into how you feel. But be prepared because again they may not be willing to talk about it, accept it, or want to deal with it all. You have to remember it often takes us years to come to grips with our true selves and feelings and it is going to take loved ones a while as well. So be patient, don't get upset if they don't accept it right away. And don't force them to talk about it if they don't want to. If they don't want to talk about it you might try leaving a packet with some of the info you gather about being Transgendered to read when they are ready.
Be sure you are ready to take this steps and count the costs and risks of coming out to whoever you are going to come out to. Because often we are rejected completely by our loved ones. And this has led many of our brothers and sisters into deep depression and worse. Now I am not a professional and this is just my opinion and one suggestion. If you are thinking of coming out to loved ones it is best that you have come to full grip with who you are because once you make it known others will always look at you in that light, even if you decide later that it is not who you truly are. And I also suggest if you are not in professional counseling then get some to help you deal with any issues you haven't dealt with or any that may arise once you do come out....Huggss...Katrina
I sat my parents down, calmly and patiently tried to explain about how my life was one big lie I knew that inside I was always a girl and not a boy and that I was going to start living my life properly and truthfully as the woman visibly and openly and basicaly I scared the crap out of them for a couple of hours as they tried to get their heads around things and nearly 18 months later, 11 of those as my true Rachel self, they're still coming to terms with having a daughter...