Hullo. ;D
I'm the guy that tends to fade into the background to watch how things work, and the one that goes absolutely insane with friends. I'm the kind that uses corny pick up lines to start conversation and enjoys puns far more than the average person. I'm artistic, but my ambitions lie in medicine. I like writing. I have three hedgehogs and wear a fedora almost constantly. I may also be one of the wildest wallflowers alive.
I didn't know what being a transsexual was until I was in seventh or eight grade. When I saw it, I scoffed at the term. How could it be? I knew that I was female--I didn't have much choice. I thought gender was synonymous with what was between your legs and that was the lot I was given. It was an unfortunate lot in life, but I'd never been too lucky. My mother was abusive, and I stomped through plenty before I got out of my mother's house when I was twelve. Before then, I can't remember myself as a person. I had general tendencies, but I felt like I was without a personality. Most of my actions were based off of spending more time out (which was difficult at my age) and carefully tiptoeing through fields of glass. That was about precision, not life.
I'd always been a 'tomboy'. I spent time with boys running and wrestling, but I did role-play too. I was, at that point, beyond gender. I slipped over boundaries and just enjoyed things. Later, I became more concrete. Elementary school I often fell on the boy divide, though near fourth or fifth grade that was over. Boys began to get embarrassed that I could beat them. They stopped talking to me and I found a group of female friends who would play cards or four-square with me and I'd follow along petulantly as they wore make-up and pursued more feminine things I was entirely uninterested in. I can't ever remember being as free as I was before that until I was fourteen and my 'girl group' merged with a group of guys. I took them on--we wrestled and played videogames and they punched me just as hard because I was willing, perceived gender aside. That was one of my happier times, each group supplemented each-other perfectly and I was happy.
Freshman year, of course, they broke up and found new friends and I was left alone. Little thoughts I'd have of 'wishing I was a boy' were becoming more and more frequent and the puberty I awaited anxiously hoping I could be more normal brought monthly breakdowns where I'd be confused and miserable. I hated it, but I didn't connect it with my thoughts of being male. I shared it with another girl and she jokingly agreed but I began to realise it wasn't normal and my thoughts and need was increasing by the year. Once a week became daily, and once a day became twice a day and kept getting worse. I still thought that was my lot, but finally near the end of my junior year of high-school I finally broke down. I looked over something I'd only jokingly looked at before and spent months reflecting on it. The idea of T and SRS made me excited, being seen as male... just being. I came out to my grandmother (who I live with) and she accepted it but my father (who I thought would be equally open) wouldn't. He fought it and then it became the elephant in the room no matter all the mediums I tried to get through with him. It took him over a year and many hurtful instances before he listened. He's starting to come around.
Currently, I'm out to all my friends and am going by Shaun. I'm currently looking into colleges and the rest of my life. Because of support places like I assume Susans will be for me, I'm sure it'll be a long one and (though not without trials) a happy one. I can only do my best and keep my fingers crossed. I look forward to being on these forums and meeting everyone. I'm new, so treat me well! ^-^
Hi and welcome! Susans is a great place to be and there are lots of folks here to answer your questions or just talk to. Hugs, Tracey
Hi Shaun, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 5900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation Rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.msg146855.html#msg146855)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs and Love,
Janet
Hi Shaun! :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's. You will most certainly find plenty of support from the guys (and us girls) here.
I promise we will all treat you well! We are not always misbehaved! LOL!! ::)
I hope you enjoy your stay here, and keep posting. We all want to know how things are going with our new brother.
Huggs
Maegan