Name's Jason, or Jesse. Still trying on names you see. 25 years young, came out to myself as genderqueer little over a year ago and came out to myself as the effeminate guy I truly am rather recently. Didn't exactly come to me easily. I had a childhood that could have belonged to many types of people, with interest and skill in both math/sciences as well as art, music, and literature. My parents never attempted to limit my interests or activities based upon stereotypical gender roles, and thanks to things like the Internet and my constant consumption of literature (along with teachers & librarians who made sure I had access to materials not all students and library purveyors would be allowed to peruse) I've had plenty of role models of various genders, not to mention an awareness of trans people and genders outside of just 'man' and 'woman.' Through all of this I loved many girl toys, girl clothes, etc. but that's where the similarities ended. I never felt like a girl and always identified much more strongly and consistently with boys and men. My male role models are who I remember most clearly and concisely, even though I know I did not only have men in that slot. Despite my love of dresses, even frilly ones, and the desire for longer hair it was a nightmare to get me through any other 'rite of passage' for women. I hated shaving (and I have plenty of dark hair too,) I hated purses, I hated bras. I did like make-up, but I also gravitated toward alternative cultures like the goth scene early on which in my experience always had plenty of examples of people breaking gender norms with their clothing. Guys in skirts, in make-up, with long hair, even wearing lace. More than anything I've felt the strongest attraction toward effeminate men, and for the longest time I've just taken that to be some sort of preference like being 'gay' or whatever except my attraction isn't the sexual/romantic type or not only that. Far more than that. When I see guys who fit that description I get jealous, I want to look like that! I also took a long detour through feminism and self-education for the past few years, which has been really good for me. But I've spent these years unpacking all this stuff to do with 'am I just dissatisfied with traditional female roles and treatment?' And you know what? No, it's more than just that. Far beyond that. Of course I don't like anybody being forced into some sort of role which doesn't fit, you should only be that girly-girl or manly-man (or effeminate man or butchy girl or androgyne or genderqueer or neutrois or or or... ;) ) if you really want to be. Or whatever you want, you need to be. I have felt that in my bones for a very, very long time. I know I'm a guy, I know I'm not a girl, and THAT is why being perceived and treated as a girl bothers me so much. SO MUCH.
Okay, that was rambling. Sorry. :D
Hi there Sorin! :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's. I think you should read some of the postings in the androgyne section. It sounds to me as if you tend to lean more towards androgyne.
Luckily, it does not matter who you are, you will always find acceptance here. Best wishes for the journey ahead and keep us posted.
Huggs
Maegan
Welcome to the group. It sounds like you have a firm grasp on things. I wish you luck in all you pursue.
Welcome to the group!
Welcome to Susans, you'll love it here! Just let us know when you settle on a name, OK? Hugs, Tracey
Hi Sorin, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 5900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation Rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.msg146855.html#msg146855)
- Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs and Love,
Janet
welcome to the group ;D