Do you ever just get tired of it all? I want to just take a break, and not have to worry about hair popping out or growing. I know I want to transition, but it takes so much mental energy it makes me tired. Anyone else feel this way?
Transition can be emotionally exhausting. For me, there were certainly ups and downs but I never, not once, considered stopping or turning back.
What I can tell you is that it gets easier. What's so remarkable is when, after a year or two, you look at how your life has changed and what you've accomplished and you realize that it was all worth it! :)
Thanks! :) Your post made me feel better. I just have a hundred other things on top of transitioning that make everything stressful. I don't want to stop or turn back, I just want things to go smooth sailing for a little while. Get other matters sorted out, without the worry or stress of my body hating me :P
I do...but i know i havve to keep going
I have had days that I have thought of it. But I keep going forward even if it is just idling for a bit. To go back to being 'him', is to put a 9MM to my temple and ... well you know.
We all must keep going forward.
Those days are when I know I need to speed up!!
I sometimes get tired of waiting for people to catch up with me, never felt like I want to stop being myself, as I've fought so hard to be myself, I'm just glad to live la vida Rachel :)
I don't want to stop being me. I just want smooth sailing for a little while! :)
Sometimes I get very discouraged and wonder if I can go on for even another day... Often I'm not sure what keeps me going... I'm very thankful for the few friends I have here at Susan's
Sometimes I think it would be easier to just stop transitioning but then I realize how that isn't even an option. I did take a break from the technical aspects of transitioning for a bit and just had fun for a few months. I didn't stop hormones, or go 'un-fulltime' but stopped things like hair removal and other things. Just needed to have a break from it all for a bit. Back in full swing now.
After we finally get everything cleared twice beneath my chin, I'm going to slow down with electrolysis. I'm having a two-hour session every week, and although my face and my mind can easily tolerate it, it's financially draining. It's the monthly equivalent of paying for a very nice new car. I'll probably shift to a once monthly session, just to keep the front of my face cleared of what little regrowth continues to return. The hair is fine and white, so it doesn't cause any shadow, just the annoyance of knowing it's there.
If only we could just lock ourselves up for a year while the hormones make us passable! :P
I go through a lot ups and downs as well and the fear of not being able to pass hardly leaves my mind. But it's been getting better lately I think. I'm starting to look a bit like those androgynous girls that I'm so attracted to. :D
I made my mind up last year that I was going to start transitianing. Everything has been working against me, but I would not go back for anything. I am not the same person anymore. There are so many thing that have change about me that I cant let go of. somethings that I did let go of about who I was I forgot about. I love who I am becoming even if it hurts sometimes.
I think we do go through those times.
I had a funny moment this afternoon. I was tidying up my photos and remembered I had some from several years ago and dug them out. It was really quite funny. Obviously younger. but looked like a guy in a dress. We do move forward and sometimes we don't realise it.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Cindy
After taking a 2 hour break to do some "boy stuff" in my workshop, and then four hours at the medical center having my hand x-rayed, I'm ready to go back to transitioning absolutely full time!! Luckily, nothing was broken!! :embarrassed:
Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 07, 2011, 09:33:29 PM
I have had days that I have thought of it. But I keep going forward even if it is just idling for a bit. To go back to being 'him', is to put a 9MM to my temple and ... well you know.
We all must keep going forward.
Janet Lynn's got that right, Tyler!
Janet can tell you about me "hitting the wall" and freaking out last summer. She talked me back to my senses. THANKS, HON!
With me, it's been circumstances more than anything else. Many life hassles going down at the same time for a long time ... bummer. Janet so wisely taught me that you just have to roll with the changes. On that note, Tyler, ever heard this song? This may have been done before your time.
This song encourages us to KEEP ON ROLLING WITH THE CHANGES and to BE HOPEFUL AND HAPPY!
Roll with the Changes (with the lyrics) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-nsLFSqu2c#)
Turn it UP ... and get HAPPY!
One of the greatest road cruising and air guitar songs ... ever!
:D Lacey
Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 09, 2011, 04:14:55 AM
Sometimes I get very discouraged and wonder if I can go on for even another day... Often I'm not sure what keeps me going... I'm very thankful for the few friends I have here at Susan's
You totally have friends here at Susan's. Remember that. It's totally true.
;) Lacey
Thanks everyone for the really kind posts! My family here at susans is really helpful. My home life is extremely stressful right now, nothing to do with being trans as they are all fine with it. Everyone is stressed out though, and so much is going on. I want to just have two days away from EVERYTHING, not have a single stressful thought on my mind and just enjoy time reading or watching a movie.
Hi Tyler
I remember excactly what you mean.
I was feeling the same many years ago, things were moving too slowly in my thoughts.
But, at the end you'll see, it was worth it.
Keep faith, you'll get there.
hugs
Annette
I transitioned in 1977, surgery almost exactly 30 years ago at the time of the first London Marathon. I never in all that time questioned the effort or the fear. It was just too exciting, too liberating from the awfulness of being male. The joy of makeup, nice clothes at last, having a door held open for one, people adopting a more gentle tone towards you. Being a woman is hard work, even for those born female. Men just don't bother and let themselves go to seed. Part of being a woman is making the best of oneself at whatever age. Hair is always a problem, shaving legs, under arms, waxing arms and many women do wax their facial hair. Nails have to be done, skin cleaned, body scrubbed, hair styled and kept clean and in order. You will find your own style and it will become routine. I smile every time I make my face up, just adore the face that looks back from the mirror, not out of vanity, but because I am still alive, and female, whereas if I had remained male I do not think I would have survived.
It is realy easy to just take a break and do other stuff, forget about the hole teansthing and grow a massive beard in a few days. At the long run though it makes you feel horrible. I just had my legal namechange so I can't go back and it would be harder to take a break. Maybe you can also do something to make the hole process seem iriversable.
Quote from: Valeriedances on April 12, 2011, 06:34:45 AM
You are who you are, just do it, whatever it is :)
Bingo!! You are
YOU first, and everything else (gender, sex, race, religion, height, weight, etc.) long after that. Be yourself, as you wish to be. It's incredibly empowering.