Is there a database website that gives reviews of different states and towns across the united states that are safe for LGBT individuals? I am both G, and T and may be moving to a place where I can go to a mortuary school.
Thing is, I live in North Carolina, currently in a decently safe, proactive town, but the only community college mortuary school in my state is in fayetteville, which I have never visited, but I have had people tell me it is a small military town, not progressive. I would only be there for two years to finish school and then I would be gone, and tuition is more then three thousand dollars cheaper, which would allow me to go ahead and get top surgery.
Basically, does anyone know if this is a safe place to live? i dont mind if I hate it there, but as long as I wont be murdered I can deal with it. I am almost 7 months on T and pass all the time, but I am kinda fem sometimes, but I am sure I can butch it up for my safety.
I'm in the triangle, and while I have heard much about fayetteville, I have only driven through. I have a couple friends who lovingly call it fayette-nam.
Like you said, it's a military town, hence there are plenty of butch women. I think you'll find it easy to blend right in provided you keep your guard up, as such every military person does. Never sit in a room with your back to the window, and always face the front door if you can!
And keep an eye on your car at all times, make sure you have full insurance coverage on it and that it's paid up to date!!
To be honest, i don't think there is a safe place in the world.
There are always people a bit crazy, everywhere you go.
We have a small town where people normally die of boredom but a few days ago there was a gunman with a machinegun who was shooting on the people in the shopping mall.
So unsafety is everywhere, you only have to be in the wrong place on the wrong time.
I do think in a big city you are living more anonymous and people there are more used to gay people.
Maybe NYC ?
I hope you'll find a place where you feel safe.
hugs
Annette
Thus might help. http://www.gay-guesthouses.com/gay-statistic/lgbt-population.html (http://www.gay-guesthouses.com/gay-statistic/lgbt-population.html)
Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 10, 2011, 06:45:47 PM
Thus might help. http://www.gay-guesthouses.com/gay-statistic/lgbt-population.html (http://www.gay-guesthouses.com/gay-statistic/lgbt-population.html)
Perhaps that means I should move to Hotlanta!! It's only a hop skip and jump away anyways... I'll definitely consider it when I put in for my first transfer.
May I suggest Southern New England?
I live in Rhode Island. We have the usual issues that most of us face but I can say, honestly, that I feel relatively safe living here. We're also a state that includes "gender identity and expression" in its State non-discrimination statute.
There are 4 mortician schools close enough to commute to from within RI: Fine Mortuary College in Norwood, MA; Lincoln College in Southington, CT; Briarwood College, also in Southington and Mount Ida College in Newton, MA.
Southern Mass and Eastern CT are both nice, too but the cost of living is higher..
Quote from: annette on April 10, 2011, 05:51:09 PM
To be honest, i don't think there is a safe place in the world.
There are always people a bit crazy, everywhere you go.
Sadly, I have to agree.
I'd probably suggest staying away from places that get the "Urban Cowboy" crowd (the not-real-cowboys that are trying to put on the act to show how manly and cowboy they are, despite probably never having done any of the tasks a person on a ranch would have done) and where you see lots of other types of prejudice expressed openly (if someone can openly hate someone of another race, it's not a big step to hate someone who doesn't fit their tiny view of gender).
I'm personally praying for a world where people can just be themselves without having to look over their shoulder.
At least home is safe
Quote from: Michael on April 14, 2011, 10:46:03 PM
At least home is safe
As long as 'home' does not equate to where your family lives, then yes, home might be safe.
"Home" is probably wherever you feel most comfortable and if that is the case then I guess I am safe at home right now in my own house in one of the most crime-ridden sections of town (thankfully the cops have cleaned up much of it these past few years).
I have never felt more at danger, more at unease, than at my parents' home. And I believe that to be the common case around here!
Quote from: RabbitsOfTheWorldUnite on April 15, 2011, 02:57:43 AM
I have never felt more at danger, more at unease, than at my parents' home. And I believe that to be the common case around here!
Same here!
Wilton manor, I'll have to go check it out! I have a couple cousins in lauderdale who I haven't seen in a while! I lived in west palm some ages ago ;-)
thanks Valerie :)
Last I knew FayetteNam Fayetteville can be a tough place for anybody. It's hugely military and they're very anti-trans. It's a very conservative area. There also seem to be alot of stereotypical biker gangs there and alot of fighting- at least what I've seen.
I won't say you'll definitely be attacked or beaten up, but you may feel more excluded or shunned if people find out your trans. You'll probably have a hard time finding and getting resources- like doctors.
IMO I would never live there- trans or not. There's a reason it's nickname is FayetteNam.
I would avoid any area thats a military base town. Nothing against the military. It's just that the culture is complete anthema to what I prefer. I like having my dining expanded beyond Libbys, Wafflehouse and fast food. Five pawn shops is five too many. 10 buy here/pay here cars lots are 10 too many. WalMart ought not be the high end retailer. That and the machismo attitude is just lovely.
Oh, and there's a dive bar on every block.
Adding in "us" is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
Stick to the large metro areas. Or better yet, the large University towns. There's a reason why Texas has the fourth largest gay population. So many large cities and cities like Austin.
That's my2cents.
Though going to mortuary school near a gang ravaged area could be an excellentbway to find your client base.
"Cheap" and "safe for GLBT" don't go together. By the time we've established enough of a presence in a place to make it safe for ourselves, we've driven up the cost of living severalfold. And we tend to do it in cities, which are expensive to begin with.
That said, maybe it's the veteran in me talking, but I feel safer in military towns than in your average small town. In a military town, a huge segment of the population - the one that would typically pose the greatest threat to trans people, the twenty-something working-class men - is overwhelmingly composed of people who are scared absolutely ->-bleeped-<-less of being arrested.
If you're in the military and you get arrested off-base, you get prosecuted twice - once by the civilian authorities, once by the military authorities. If either one convicts you of a serious crime, you lose your job, you lose your security clearance, all of your friends find out, your boss finds out, your parents probably find out, nobody respects you anymore, your career is ruined, you go to civilian prison and then when you get out you go to military prison and then when you get out of there you not only have a criminal record but also a punitive discharge from the military further ensuring you'll never have a decent job for the rest of your life. It's bad news. And it's hard to get away with a crime, too, because nobody wants to cover for you and risk their own career.
Some servicemembers still do commit crimes (DUIs are relatively common, as is domestic violence) but for the most part they're probably the most law-abiding portion of the working-class twenty-something population in the country. And they're drug-free, too. I wouldn't worry about them. You might not like the atmosphere in a military town, but that's a different matter separate from the safety issues.
Kyril, while many military towns might be safe, Fayetteville has had many cases of soldiers committing murder- especially to spouses. From what I've heard soldiers there regularly get arrested for fights and battery. This is why it's nickname is FayetteNam.
While many soldiers fear getting arrested, if you get enough booze, bigotry or hate in someone logic gets thrown out the window. Plus, if a soldier is dead beat on causing physical harm to someone they are trained in combat and might have the upper hand.
However, I think the biggest downside in a military town is that they'll just shun and discriminate a trans person even more than your usual city. If you can live stealth and not be outed then you have a better chance there. BTW Fayetteville isn't that big for a city. It's also quite boring.
I live in NYC. I haven't had any problems. There's so many people that it's easy to blend in. NYC is expensive also.
Gennee
I know this topic is old, but figured I'd chime in anyway.
I'm in Wilmington, NC and my girlfriend spent 10 years in Fayetteville when she was a young teen. The city isn't particularly hostile towards LGBTQ people. Everything queer-identified is underground, though. The area has had several pretty bad Trans-related murder cases (mostly TG women), but trans men aren't really bothered.
Definitely stay away from the outlying towns in Fayetteville (Lumberton, Gray's Creek, Hope Mills), they're very backwoods and don't take kindly to people who are different.
Otherwise, I doubt you would be hassled in the area as long as you didn't actively seek out trouble.
I wonder if any place is safe as long as there are bigots around. **sigh** We live in a small town and I often d=fear for my families safety.
Quote from: Chermarie on June 16, 2011, 09:44:36 PMI wonder if any place is safe as long as there are bigots around. **sigh** We live in a small town and I often d=fear for my families safety.
There's no place 100% safe because every place has transphobes, but it's true some places are better than others. Alot also has to do with if you do or can live as stealth. If you're gay that's also another issue on top of being trans and can make things more dangerous. I just fear for Elijah's safety in Fayetteville since he's young, trans and gay.
I can't imagine what it's like living in a small town, especially if you're out or alot of people know.