In my crazy mind i tried to "cure" myself a few years back,by buying the ugliest clothes i could find.I mean clothes i would hate to wear,weird colors.I thought if i wore them i would hate it.And thus never crossdress again.WRONG!.I found myself trying to make them work,had to run out again to get a belt,or different color pantyhose....etc.Well i will never pull that stunt again.
I joined the military to try and cure my desire to dress... it didn't work. That was years ag. I've long since realized that I won't stop, I can't be cured, and I like who I am.
Your story made me giggle a bit... thinking about the extremes we go through to try and change something that is just a fundamental part of who we are.
I tried that a couple of times too except I think I was more worried about certain people finding out at the time and wanted to keep it quiet. Unfortunately that did not last long.
I wonder how many of these stories I have heard in suport groups , coffee conversations , heck , even conversations in the back of my cab when I used to be a taxi driver . get on with it , accept you're self fo all of who you were born to be ........... ! ellen
Hey Ellen,
I have come to accept myself fully. But there was still a time that I had to go through the spiritual growth of accepting myself in the world that we live in. Not always easy
I have also tried to stop and it didn't work. When I was younger I purged before I even knew that other crossdressers were doing the same thing.
My desire to dress and be feminine has increased as I have become older. My VA psychologist says it is who I am. I have accepted myself mostly but still hang on to being stealth and I have a ways to go before I can totally accept myself.
Samantha
I have just started again after a five year break. For me the desire to dress never seems to go away, the feelings just get stronger. I just bought two dresses a new wig and panties. I shaved my legs and dress almost full time at home. It feels great! Still afraid to go out.
I tend to compare crossdressing to liking ice cream or liking liver or having a favourite colour. I happen to like ice cream, very very much. So I eat it, cause I like it. I hate liver, no matter how it is cooked, and will not eat it. I have always liked ice cream, and always hated liver. My favourite colour is blue.
Now we turn to clothes. Let see, I like skirts and dresses. (and don't get me wrong here, I like guy's clothes too (especially on GGs), just not as much as I like girls clothes). So, it just a preference, that I feel, sees beyond the constraints of gender stereotype. The fact that there is a sexual aspect, to any degree, associated with it makes the desire all the stronger.
For me, where it does get a bit weird, is that whilst I won't wear those so-called "panties made for men", I will and do wear a kilt, for those times when, as I say, I am crossdressed as a guy. And lets face it, a kilt is essentially a non-bifurcated garment in a similar way that a skirt is. I will not however, cross-genres, in mixing my kilt wearing with items of feminine clothing (undies excepted). I, also, have no problems wearing panties that are designed like men's tighty-whities, including having a working fly opening.
As I have said elsewhere, it is simply a part of who I am. I can no more stop crossdressing than a tree can stop being a tree, or a leopard stop being a leopard.
Huggles
Toni-Lynn
I spent most of my adult life in the military not understanding who I am. I was able to keep it burried. I just stayed lost, confused, and in a quandry while I served trying to make myself into a man.
Hi Barbara,
I think all of us have sometime tried to quit for what ever the reason. I can't begin to tell you how many times I have purged and can kick myself as there were many lovely items I threw out :(. Anyhow the last time I did get away from being Jean it was for several years but I am back now and will never do that again. I have come to terms with myself that once a crossdresser always a crossdresser :).
Hugs,
Jean
Quote from: Donna Elaine on August 21, 2011, 09:27:35 AM
I spent most of my adult life in the military not understanding who I am. I was able to keep it burried. I just stayed lost, confused, and in a quandry while I served trying to make myself into a man.
Sounds like my story, too.
I finally peeked out of the lingerie drawer at age 58 only to lose my wife. Within three years, I was diagnosed transsexual and began my transition, having SRS on my 63rd birthday. My new FTM spouse had his surgery a year later.
At 74, I'm still working part time on a Navy contract project of which I've been the project manager three times: once before and twice after retirement; once as male and twice as female.
Life is good once you accept who you are and live your truth.
Robyn
i like how you titled this thread with a smiling emoticon.