My parents were on the phone with Focus On The Family [A Christian orginization] and were talking abut my issues with them. They recommended a therapist in New York that my parents want to take me to see. Its probably a reperative therapist..one that is going to try to "fix me".
I told my mom I refuse to see a reparetive therapist and that I need a qualified gender therapist. I stood up for myelf and it felt great. I was very stern on where I stand and will not be swayed.
Hopefully now my parents will see how serious I am and get me to a proper therapist.
I dont need to be fixed...I am not broken.
I have an identity and it wont be undermined.
If you are 18 or over, Say "NO". They can not force you and if they try, leave.
Yeah..I'm 19 and I did refuse...I actually think my parents are listening to me this time.
Oh boy, that's a scary situation...Focus On The Family are monsters, it's good that they're listening to you about this.
You really need to get out on your own.
Quote from: cynthialee on April 15, 2011, 09:47:56 PM
You really need to get out on your own.
Yeah..I know I do. I'm working on it....looking hard for a job but havent heard back from any of them...as soon as I get the money I'm out on my own.
If necessary, tell them that there are at least 9 professional organizations in the US that say that reparative therapy doesn't work and/or is harmful. But please pick your battles carefully, especially if it involves food, shelter, etc.
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
American Counseling Association
American Medical Association
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychoanalytic Association
American Psychological Association
American School Counselor Association
National Association of Social Workers
(list obtained at http://www.hrc.org/reparativetherapy/ (http://www.hrc.org/reparativetherapy/))
Ugh, Focus On The Family. I went to a Christian school so I'm familiar with them.
Go to www.snagajob.com (http://www.snagajob.com)
Apply for every job you can do.
That's what I did and 4-6 weeks latter I was working. May only make ~7 bucks an hour, but it's something.
I'm glad you're standing up for yourself man :) Never heard of the organization but even the name sounds a little frightening.
Just keep trying with the job thing, took me forever to get an interview anywhere but 2 out of the 3 times I've gotten an interview I managed to get the job. Resumes can be a big help too if you have done any type of babysitting or yard work or volunteering.
haha I was about to mention snagajob but sharky beat me to it :D
Oh, no. Nonononono.
All I can say is, F F on the F!!!
Good for you man, that is a seriously scary situation, and awesome you stood your ground and made it clear you would not be forced into anything.
I found a job not long ago through snag a job, so definitely a helpful place to go, good luck!
Just out of curiosity, do you know what they were told on the phone
uggh i went to a really conservative christian school and church, so i definitely know about focus on the family :icon_no: keep standing up for yourself man! and good luck with the job search :)
I'm sure Focus on the Fear was able to provide them with exactly the misinformation they wanted to hear.
And then some. Focus on the Family can make an atheist believe because hell looks a lot like those people.
Quote from: Kristi on April 15, 2011, 11:15:03 PM
Just out of curiosity, do you know what they were told on the phone
I'm not exactly sure what was said...but my dad seemed "impressed" because they were so "scientific".
My parents said they asked if I was right or left brained [I am right brained]..and when my parents told them I was right brained they said that right brainers have a "tendency to think outside the box and go against the norms"...but thats all the information I was able to get. I wish I knew more of what was said though.
right or left brained [I am right brained]
If they were the least bit 'scientific' (and they are not, matter of fact they are absolutely vehemently anti-science) they would know that the right/left brain stuff has been pretty much discredited for decades now - it's pretty much cocktail party junk science at best.
Joseph B. Hellige has written three books on this idea, it's pretty deep stuff (he's the Vice President for Research and Graduate Studies and Professor of Psychology at Loyola Marymount University in LA, and a the world wide scientific expert in this kind of neurology) but the third book is more basic and comprehensive.
Cerebral Hemisphere Asymmetry, 1983
Hemispheric Asymmetry, 1993
Hemispheric Asymmetry: What's Right and What's Left (Perspectives in Cognitive Neuroscience), 2001
I am a christian with conservative values. I was taught tolerance as well. The Focus on the Family is no place to find answers to your dysphoria nor is it a place to find salvation. It is located in Colorado Springs and it is in the hub of ultra- conservatism. There are other churches in the area that are like minded. Stick to your guns Alex! See this Dr. Phil video: Dr. Phil Show - Little Boy Lost - Sparks Fly Among Guests (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXue5IknI2U#)
Joelene
Hi Alex201
This says it all about Focus on the Family's Values (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/socialissues/sexual-identity/-%3E-bleeped-%3C-/our-position.aspx). Find a way so that you can live the life that you want to live, without interference that will undermine who you are.
Take care and all the best for the future.
Warm regards
Sarah B
Edit: Corrected Name
Quote from: Joelene9 on April 18, 2011, 01:29:00 AM
I am a christian with conservative values. I was taught tolerance as well. The Focus on the Family is no place to find answers to your dysphoria nor is it a place to find salvation. It is located in Colorado Springs and it is in the hub of ultra- conservatism. There are other churches in the area that are like minded. Stick to your guns Alex! See this Dr. Phil video: Dr. Phil Show - Little Boy Lost - Sparks Fly Among Guests (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXue5IknI2U#)
Joelene
If those guys were the best two FotF could think of to send on TV, I wonder what the rest of them are like.
Quote from: Alex201 on April 17, 2011, 11:08:49 PM
I'm not exactly sure what was said...but my dad seemed "impressed" because they were so "scientific".
If by "scientific" they mean a willingness to look at all evidence (whether scientific or not) which supports a limited interpretation of the Bible while ignoring all evidence against that interpretation.... then yes, Focus on the Family is scientific.
Personally, I don't see a reason to redefine words which already have a good definition. Science is much simpler when you leave religion out of it. Real science only works when theories are based on pure observation. When there is an agenda, science is impossible.
Anyone can use big words, and sound fancy. Apologists do it all the time. Just because someone knows how to use the English language doesn't make them scientists. Science is a certain way of observing the world which has nothing to do with whether or not one can pronounce words with more than four syllables.
Ah dude get out of your parents' house! Can you afford to move out? If not, do you have friends who would let you crash @ their place?
I agree with Arch: F F on the F !
My dad did a similar thing, he got information from NARTH and EXodous (Narth is the one that creates all the studies that say reparative thearpy works and has an Ex Trans program (posterboy Sy Rogers).. and Exodous - well everyones heard of Exodous.
Anyhow, dad had some of their stuff sitting around the house, and had been looking into the program down in the states for me (we live in Canada O_o).. He also called a local Christian organization in my city and told them I'd be coming in to see them later, then called me and told me to go there. I told dad I was already seeking therapy elsewhere and that I didn't trust the motivations behind the ones he contacted. Dad seemed hurt, and told me all the good work NARTH was doing for the world.. after that.. it was kind of a silent.. thing for a few months where he left the stuff around the house, brought it up once.. and after that.. he hasn't really talked about it since Jan maybe? He really just doesn't takl about trans stuff now. Just stand up dude, and if they try and force you, don't take it.
I have friends that have gone through them (my age).. and it's only done damage.
NARTH received criticism from the Southern Poverty Law Center for Gerald Schoenewolf's essay, Gay Rights and Political Correctness: A Brief History,[27] in which the member of NARTH's Science Advisory Committee argued that "Africa at the time of slavery was still primarily a jungle... Life there was savage ... and those brought to America, and other countries, were in many ways better off." He also stated that the civil rights movement, the women's rights movement, and the gay rights movement were all "irrational" and "destructive."
Wow, pro-slavery, anti-women, anti-gay. I'd be surprised if they didn't complement each other by saying "Mighty white of you to do that!"
Holy S*** I literally just cringed when I saw this title. I was raised to believe that Focus on the Family and 'Dr.' James Dobson in particular was the damn near closest thing to the second coming. Imagine how disconcerted I was when I discovered just how evil they really are. My Mother went to Exodus and that turned out about as well as could be expected.
Honestly it hurt her way more than it hurt me. I was able to move beyond that whole hateful mess. My parent's the ones still trapped in it. Believing the lie that having a relationship with me is condoning my 'chosen lifestyle'. As they put it. I know my Mom misses me and her grandchildren but because of Focus on the Family she is staying away. That organization and others like it are evil, evil, evil. To everyone not just the queer people they persecute.
Any rate Alex, you really need to get away from your parents. There are plenty of people out there who want to help you. You are staying in a poison environment and you need to go breath some fresh air.
I looked up Focus on the Family, becuase I hadn't heard of them before this. I finally found the section entitled
->-bleeped-<- ...under the Sexual Identity main topic with the sub topics on pro-gay and unwanted same sex attractions. Last time I checked we belong with gender identity...
Quote from: xchrisx on April 18, 2011, 07:33:39 AM
Ah dude get out of your parents' house!
^^
This.
A lot of my friends in school had parents who were less than exemplary. It wasn't uncommon for us to have friends sleeping over at my house, sometimes for extended periods. Sometimes, the best thing to do about people you disagree with is simply to remove them from you life.
Alex, face it. How many times have you said your family respect your position and seem to be listening.
You're either an adult man with your own mind who is prepared to get off his arse and work to support himself through transition or you're just looking for a free ride from parents who are under no legal obligation to get you any kind of therapist.
I hate to say this man, but your parents are hopeless. Some parents turn around and eventually accept it. Yours won't, plain and simple. You need to get out ASAP.