I love him and he's 3.5 and the most adorable little boy you've ever seen. I'm starting my transition and his mother is super happy and today was the first day I went out with him and he called me Finneus and I was -- am -- super happy but here is what I worry about. When he gets older should be tell him I'm trans? I mean he won't understand now and he already gets confused with gender as it is but I mean when he's like 15 or 16; when he's old enough to understand. I figure in 10+ years I'll be passing so he won't NEED to know but it's what I should do, right?
Also: just for clarification this boy is practically like my child. I see him nearly everyday and I used to live with him and his mother so it's not a once every few months for a few hours kind of thing.
Telling him or not is your decision. I don't think you are under any obligation to tell anyone anything. I'm a godfather too, but to my baby sister, so she will know eventually.
hey Finn,
I am in the same situation you are. My god son is my life, he is now 4 and I only started my transition in November of last year and T in January.Although I have always identified as male I never actually "came out" as trans until november....His mother has always been supportive and calls me his God Father...He refers to me as Daddy J and has never really seems to have a problem with the change. His mother and I have had conversations about what is "right or wrong" when it comes to explaining to him in the future. We have raised him to be very accepting of people no matter what color, gender or sexuality..His mother is a lesbian so he has grown up with her partner and knows that his mothers partner is female. His "sperm donor"(as we like to call him) is also gay and spends time with him here and there. So I guess it has always been a little bit easier for me to pass as male to him. I battle with the whole "will I confuse him?" "will he be disappointed" but at the same time I have to remember that as long as we continue to raise him to be accepting of people for who they are on the inside he will understand when he gets older that the inner beauty of a person is more important then what you see on the outside. So I would say don't hide it from him and be willing to answer the hard questions someday down the road if and when he does ever ask. As long as you remain a strong influence in his life when he gets older he is going to love you no matter what because he will be able to look back and know that you have always been there...
hope that helps some
~J~
Thanks so much for your reply Jayson. I loved hearing your story and it really made me feel better. I was with my godson again today and he remembered to call me Finneus AND uncle without being prompted. What I really loved was when I was leaving he gave me a big hug and said "you a boy like me" and it really made my day.
;D that's awesome....Children are very interesting creatures for sure lol...they usually adapt to things very easily. They may not always understand and if they don't they are quick to tell you about it. They say some of the most random things at the random times but their hearts are so pure. Sometimes they have the ability to say something to make our whole day better without even knowing it....Just keep supporting him and being the strong male influence that you are and it will only get better from here ;D
~J~