I was curious.. so far I have found no one else that had to do this..
Has anyone had to get letters from friends/coworkers to verify to their therapist that they were living in their gender outside of the therapist's office?
When my therapist told me to get the letters I just said "ok" and didn't challenge her.. but it was awkward to ask people and I felt humiliated that I needed to.
Generally it takes changing your name, getting ID in said name, opening an account, going to school. But if your therapist says she just needs letter from friends and family, I guess that works for her.
That makes sense. The issue with requiring people to change their name to "count" as having lived in RL, is that the process of changing your name can cost a lot for some people. So it can be seen as a financial barrier placed on people wanting to transition.
For me, it's an issue of availability, my license is not for the state I live in.. as soon as I figure out how to deal with this, my name with be changed!
Theoretically, being poor should not disbar you from access to the legal system in the US.
A Financial Waiver Affidavit (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Financial_waiver_affidavit) can cover the cost.
Whoa! It seems like this place has information on everything, and somebody who has been through any possible scenario.
I feel like I should have been coming here a long time ago! Thanks for the info!
I never had to prove to either of my therapists that I had been living full time. Indeed, I never even had to legally change my name in order to get the surgery. I personally think it's a little unrealistic and it sounds like that therapist doesn't even trust her patients to tell the truth during the sessions.
I've actually heard of surgeons requiring such letters before scheduling GRS. Most of the time, evidence of a legal name change will suffice for the "official" start of RLE. If you haven't changed your name yet, I see it as perfectly reasonable to request some sort of proof that you're living "full time." It's unfortunate that we have to jump through hoops to be treated but remember that this is a medical procedure being carried out over an extended period of time; the ones that treat you want to be sure that you're responding to that treatment. You can tell a doctor, for instance, that you're diabetic but they'd never give you meds before testing you, right? Your therapist wants to be very sure that you're ready for the next step.
Please don't see it as humiliating.... It's helping you document your transition.
Are you going for bottom surgery? Otherwise, I've never heard of ftms needing RLE.
Quote from: Forum Admin on April 26, 2011, 01:07:13 PM
Are you going for bottom surgery? Otherwise, I've never heard of ftms needing RLE.
Agreed, my therapist never needed me to have anything like that. I told him I'd been living full-time as best I could for a few years and a month later I had my letter to start T, don't even have my name change yet.
That's just it.. I am just looking for top surgery. My therapist repeats over and over "we follow standards of care"... and I know them pretty well. I looked them up again and it says that T and chest surgery should be considered with same guidelines.
I am already on T.. have been for 3 months, I am looking to schedule chest surgery for December, so still have a while. The surgeon I am using doesn't even require that you be on T, just requires a letter. It just felt weird.
I ended up getting my research advisor to write me one (she is awesome.. we research LGBT things so it didn't seem like a big deal), and then I wrote the other letters, had my friends read them over, change what they wanted, printed and signed them. Technically my therapist is not allowed to contact any of these people so she can't verify anyways, so I don't really understand the point. I was just curious if this was a common thing.
Quote from: LorenAndrew on April 26, 2011, 09:17:43 AM
I was curious.. so far I have found no one else that had to do this..
Has anyone had to get letters from friends/coworkers to verify to their therapist that they were living in their gender outside of the therapist's office?
When my therapist told me to get the letters I just said "ok" and didn't challenge her.. but it was awkward to ask people and I felt humiliated that I needed to.
I was never asked to do this.