Now I don't mean feminine like wearing a skirt or dress, but more like having long, chin-length hair, wearing skinny jeans and such. I've been perusing and so far I've found super masculine, full bearded, buzz-cut guys or no one having any hair past their ears. I'm not sure if it's due to a 'lesser' sense of masculinity or if that's what you're supposed to do. I really want to keep my hair and not have to shave it off military style but I've seen no one who shares the same feeling. This along with skinny jeans and 'scene' - I dislike using that word for some reason - fashion is non-existent.
This is how I want to dress and perhaps if I see some other FtMs who do these things and still are able to pass then that can give me ideas for the future. [I'm pre-everything by the way. Right now I look like a girl wearing guy's screen Ts and baggy sweat pants. I have to keep my hair long and can't wear any form of binding because my mum is still apprehensive about everything]. I'm heading off to college soon and I just want to get this down so I can start passing in public in a way I feel comfortable with.
I'm not a feminine individual, but I do have and fully intend to keep my long hair. Long hair has never been a feminine trait in my mind; it's just me. I rarely pass, but it still does happen, even when I was pre-T. As for clothing, I'm not into skinny jeans, but I would expect anything that clearly reveals a female bodyshape would hinder passing. That doesn't mean you shouldn't wear skinny jeans, though. Personally, I've made the conscious decision not to sacrifice aspects of my individuality simply for the sake of passing frequency, but that's a choice that will have vastly different consequences for each person. You have to decide what makes you happiest and most comfortable based on your own psychological/emotional needs: your own individuality, or your publicly perceived gender.
Not me.
I really want to keep my long hair but lately I've been feeling that it undercuts my masculinity. My SO is always saying "but I have long hair" then again he has biology on his side. Anyway. I don't think the way you dress defines your gender aside from wearing skits and dresses. Like I wear this pink button down all the time and I LOVE it. Just experiment with what suits you best. <3
Agh, I guess I'll just have to deal with the punches as they come, then. I guess if shorter hair works then I'll cut it, and if it doesn't...then I'll will it to grow back by the power of the heavens.
As for fashion, I guess I'll have to adapt a little then. I still have to shop in the girl's section so I'm not sure about the difference between guy's pants and girl's pants. I see things like 'straight leg' and 'relaxed' which don't exist in the girl's section where I'm at; does that mean it's baggier or will it still show off curves if you wear them on your waist?
Yep, I'm feminine, and I can pretty much assure you that if I was cis I'd be a drag queen. Lots of other FTMs are a bit femme as well, there's just as much diversity here as amongst cis men.
I had my hair just above chin length for a very long time, and unless your face is very feminine you have a chance of pulling it off. It might even work to your advantage if you have a round face, because it can partially cover it and de-emphasise the softness of the shape.
I like skinny/slim fit jeans, since wider pant legs make me look shorter. Straight leg means it doesn't have curve to it, it basically goes from your hips to your ankles without flare. They're a good bet. Relaxed fit might cover your curves well - for me, they're too baggy and make me look blocky. It also helps to wear pants low on your waist, even at your hip bones. Even with girl's jeans that can help a bit, so the cut won't emphasise your hips and butt like it tries to, and it will give you extra crotch room.
Thanks a million. I have an oval face so I guess I'll have to try on a few wigs and test out the look before I go and get my hair cut. My hair tends to grow back at such a slow pace so cutting my hair is a huge decision. As for the pants straight leg seems to be what I'm going for, not too fond of super-baggy jeans myself.
I would say to do what makes you comfortable...but being read as a girl is usually uncomfortable for FTMs. So shorter hair might be the way to go. Do you have plans to go on T? Does your college have services that you might take advantage of?
My hair is long, all the way down to my lower back. It's also curly :'P. I still have a bunch of stuffed animals I sleep with too. I require their cuddles ;_;! I also have the girliest hands and feet you've ever seen xD. I wish I were kidding, but it's most likely true ;_;! I also love cooking and can sew. Dress-wise, I dress like a typical guy :'P. I own like 7 shirts and 4 or 5 pairs of pants xD. That's more due to poverty though :'P. I dress like a typical guy, always in a t-shirt and an oversized pair of jeans (they're all hand-me-downs XP). I absolutely love getting dressed up in a suit though, I look for any excuse to do it :'D!
Arch: Yeah being read as a girl is a little frustrating for me but with me having to 'deal with it' for so long I guess the effects aren't as bad. I haven't really looked into my college for any services and now that you bring it up I'm doing one of those 'could've had a V8 moment'. Thank you for pulling up the point. As for T I intend to get on it after the first few months of college so that stress levels are down and I have some friends who can help me out with support. [I'm actually rather anxious for getting started on T but my current situation makes it impractical].
Darth_Taco: Wow that's some long hair man. Not even my hair is that long, simply because it refuses to grow any further than my shoulder blades. Stuffed animals and dolls terrify me actually hahah. I adore dressing up in suits too, however I don't own any. I try to dress as a boy with my limited wardrobe of girls clothes. And I tend to have a lot of clothes because my mum will not stop buying them for me. [I'm an only child by the way]. I refuse clothes and she still manages to jam them in my closet. *sigh*
There's a tumblr blog for that (http://femmeftm.tumblr.com/)
Oh, really? That's brilliant. I've never considered checking tumblr, always thought they were a place for posting macros and memes.
Quote from: Nygeel on May 01, 2011, 01:12:16 AM
There's a tumblr blog for that (http://femmeftm.tumblr.com/)
Hah hah, you seem to know a blog for everything!
Quote from: Nikolai_S on April 30, 2011, 11:20:28 PM
Yep, I'm feminine, and I can pretty much assure you that if I was cis I'd be a drag queen. Lots of other FTMs are a bit femme as well, there's just as much diversity here as amongst cis men.
Were I cis, I'd definitely do drag too. Not sure why the idea appeals to me so much, but there you go.
i love hipster style....i'm a sucker for tight pants, those super-thin t-shirts, i love longer hair on guys and i love skinny guys. that said, when i notice how well i pass with shorter hair, bulkier t-shirts (but still being skinny and loving my skinny jeans) i realized passing gives me a lot more confidence than dressing the way i would if i were cis. so i choose to dress distinctively male, and my face adds a little andro anyway.
I'm about as feminine as a girly girl. I'm not really effeminate, but feminine.
I like boys's clothes, but I have no problem with girls clothes unless it's a skirt or a dress (skorts are fine by me though).
I like cooking and baking. Heck, I make it a point to make basically everything I eat (bread, jams, soups, anything) once I move out.
I'm vegetarian.
I like the color pink.
I like my hair in a variety of styles. Pixie cuts, bobs, afros..
I enjoy things aimed at female demographics.
I'm a crybaby
Eh.. I'm basically a rather feminine person. People say it's going to be hard for me to get a girlfriend though. I like smart, rough-and-tumble tomboys so I guess so..
Ribbons: I have a friend who has a similar problem. She's lesbian but likes more 'manly' girls even though she's quite the delicate one.
emil: I've tried on some 'baggy-ish' skinny jeans on today and I think I can pass with those, but the tight ones I know I'll have issues with. I still love my graphic Ts though and cant.seem.to part.with them...
I'm still waiting permission to enter the boys section though, can't wait to try on some straight legs.
I don't pass yet, but whenever I tell people that I'm trans, they usually have some kind of retort about how feminine and flamboyant I am. Which, if you ask my family, those are the wrong words to use on me. I'm more androgynous than anything and wear things that are both masculine and feminine. I like my jeans pretty tight, thought it shows off my disgusting hips and people have been known to call me 'scene' or 'emo,' usually right before I tell them to go screw themselves xD My hair's...uhhh...sorta long. My cut's pretty similar to the way that Davey Havoc's was in the 'Love like winter' video. Shaved on the sides, but with the front about chin length. It's odd and unconventional, but it's me xP
Quote from: niko_niko on May 01, 2011, 12:47:10 AM
Arch: Yeah being read as a girl is a little frustrating for me but with me having to 'deal with it' for so long I guess the effects aren't as bad.
Just a caution: don't expect things to stay the same. You might go on "dealing with it" successfully at the same level, with the same coping mechanisms. But don't be surprised if you find yourself needing to find new ways of coping. Transition can be a real roller coaster.
Quote from: niko_niko on May 01, 2011, 12:47:10 AMI haven't really looked into my college for any services and now that you bring it up I'm doing one of those 'could've had a V8 moment'.
You can always transfer to a new school if you decide it's the right thing to do. The important things are probably to do the best you can with what you've got, and to get top grades and recommendations so that your options stay open.
Arch: I've actually looked into support groups that my college offers and fortunately there is a pretty large and active LBGT group.
GentlemanRDP: I hate that 'scene' or 'emo' affiliation as well though I do like some aspects of the style. I just dislike how people automatically assume my personality just from how I dress. And I recall that video. The hairstyle's not that drastic considering what I'm used to. One of my friends has electric blue hair and has the top layered with two 'rat tails' hanging from the sides.
I wouldn't necessarily call myself "feminine" but I'm pretty gay, and am not opposed to the title of "dapper." I'm not on T or anything yet and I do still (occasionally) wear skinny jeans. I would love to have longer hair, but I'm too lazy to mess with it, and it doesn't do anything so it wouldn't look good. I don't keep my hair military short, either, since I look like a Q-tip. I just found something that I liked, because I liked it, and did whatever I wanted. I'm known for being pretty eccentric, though.
Quote from: niko_niko on April 30, 2011, 08:38:11 PM
Now I don't mean feminine like wearing a skirt or dress, but more like having long, chin-length hair, wearing skinny jeans and such.I really want to keep my hair and not have to shave it off military style but I've seen no one who shares the same feeling. This along with skinny jeans and 'scene' - I dislike using that word for some reason - fashion is non-existent.
I rock both longer 'scene/emo' kinda hair (I don't like those terms either but it's useful as a haircut description!) and skinny jeans. Lot of people say I still look like a chick, but you know what? That's just me. That's how I like to dress. So f**c 'em. ;)
I'm not really sure if I'm really all that feminine, but I've recently been thinking I might be more of an androgyne on the masculine side. I currently wear women's jeans and semi-girly sneakers (they're those really colorful high-topped sneakers that have been popular recently out of osiris and whatnot. I know Japanese guys wear them and maybe scene kids here in the USA) and unisex shirts. I do have moderately short hair, but I can't always afford to get my hair cut so it grows out a bit sometimes.
I got dreads to my shoulder and I enjoy feelin' "pretty".
If that makes me "feminine" then so be it.
If I had a flat chest and was a little less fat, you bet your ass I'd still be wearing my eyeliner.
Growing up my heroes were always rockstars, so...that influenced how I dressed. A hell of a lot.
Are we talking physical or personality traits, though?
If it's physical, the eyeliner is really the only one I've got. That, and I love my hair the way it is, and I'm not cutting it. I've actually been bitched at on another forum by another ftm because my hair "made it look like I wasn't serious about being trans".
...seriously? Yes, to be myself I have to stop being myself? Kindly GTFO, If I want this weirdass hair I'm keeping it and you can shove it, bro.
I'd probably still paint my nails if I didn't have gross tiny hands, too. Sue me, I'm still kinda gothy at times.
Hmm, flowers growing in the windowsill to my left, belly dancing stuff hanging behind me, knitting stuff to my right, and a tab of dance videos open in front of me. I'm certainly not a macho man, but I hardly feel feminine.
^ dude, I don't care what anyone says, knitting is just awesome.
I actually think the idea of knitting/sewing being un-manly is pretty stupid. I picked up sewing out of necessity, I was broke and my only backpack had just shredded itself. What's manlier than being self-sufficient? Seriously!
Buy a scarf? To hell with that, I'll MAKE one! And mine will be better! HA.
I wear skinny jeans, eyeliner, etc. I like to crochet and go shopping. I like a lot of stereotypical girly things and I dislike a lot of stereotypical guyish things. I don't really like having long hair though. I like short hair.
I am who I am. I'll be damned if I am made to put on an act for anyone.
@N.Chaos: I was referring more to physical attributes than personality wise. I'm not very fem when it comes to persona but outfit wise I get marked as a girl. It doesn't bother me much since I'm not physically 'trying' to pass [I really want to don't get me wrong] but when I do start I just want to see how I can shift my style so that I won't have to change much and still look manly [I'm also considering androgynous].
@Lee: Belly dancing!? I find that insanely manly dude, haha. Working out and dancing at the same time while gaining flexibility, that's the ultimate workout.
@Shayne: I would wear eyeliner...if I knew how to put anything on. I gave up on makeup after about 3 days of using it, nothing against it, just don't know how to use it.
I am growing out my hair to a more chin length, simple, johnny depp/ gerard way style
Im not super masculine either, but i wouldn't say i was a girly guy either
@Niko, good to know, sorry about the confusion.
Personally, I love the look of androgynous people. I blame that on Mr.Manson.
Well, I was too lazy to read all the replies, lol. BUT I am a feminine guy as well. I don't keep my hair long (mostly because I have a horrendous afro LOL DX) but I do style it. I sort of pull it to the side (as seen in my pics). And I dress indie, so that involves tighter fitting pants and shirts, cardigans, jewelery, etc. And I know I look feminine but the trick is, I'm cool with that. ^^ I think I look good and I'm comfortable in it. So do whatever you want! XD
On a side note, I also find androgynous people extremely attractive. X)
Physically, not much. I like masculinity as far as physical (stereotypical?) image goes. However, based upon my mannerisms, interests, etc... I'm very feminine. It's actually seen as humorous by my closest friends and families.
I used to have very long, pampered "hippie-ish" hair. (I know, that sounds like an oxymoron.) I miss it greatly, but also hated it in the hot summer or windy weather. If I could grow some sweet facial hair I'd think about growing it back. I just hate how it would re-associate with my pre-transitioned self and know it would bring far too many people to call me my birth name.
But kudos to you guys with long hair. Long hair can be gorgeous unisex!
Quote from: Ribbons on May 01, 2011, 12:06:24 PM
I'm about as feminine as a girly girl. I'm not really effeminate, but feminine.
I like boys's clothes, but I have no problem with girls clothes unless it's a skirt or a dress (skorts are fine by me though).
I like cooking and baking. Heck, I make it a point to make basically everything I eat (bread, jams, soups, anything) once I move out.
I'm vegetarian.
I like the color pink.
I like my hair in a variety of styles. Pixie cuts, bobs, afros..
I enjoy things aimed at female demographics.
I'm a crybaby
Eh.. I'm basically a rather feminine person. People say it's going to be hard for me to get a girlfriend though. I like smart, rough-and-tumble tomboys so I guess so..
Bullcrap will you find it hard, heck you showing your being YOURSELF and NOTHING is more attractive than that. Sorry for the capitals I used them to help illustrate my point haha :)
Physically not so much but I do a lot of activities some people consider "feminine" like writing poetry, listening to avril and tatu, and having a love for horseback riding. Never let things stand in your way man. Like Lexia said, being yourself is what is attractive.
Quote from: Lexia on May 06, 2011, 05:59:08 PM
Bullcrap will you find it hard, heck you showing your being YOURSELF and NOTHING is more attractive than that. Sorry for the capitals I used them to help illustrate my point haha :)
Ribbons, I didn't see your post before this... I totally agree with Lexia. Plus, lots of girls like feminine/metrosexual men... and a guy who's a good cook? Score.
Quote from: Lexia on May 06, 2011, 05:59:08 PM
Bullcrap will you find it hard, heck you showing your being YOURSELF and NOTHING is more attractive than that. Sorry for the capitals I used them to help illustrate my point haha :)
This, 100%.