I have got the packer from early2bed in 3.5 size. But the thing is to me it seems like the bulge is super obvious. I'm probably just being paranoid but I am really nervous to wear it to work because I feel like my coworkers will notice I have a little bit of a bulge and call me out on it. Has anyone experienced this fear?
I packed for a long time at work before coming out and no one ever said or noticed a thing. You'd be surprised how little attention co-workers pay to others. They can miss the most obvious things.
You can try it for a few days and see how it goes, then go from there.
I should mention I've been out at work for 6 or so months. I just worry they will notice a bulge when I didn't have one before.
I've definitely had similar concerns with packing. I don't have a real packer, just my own sock creations - so I have the extra concern of having to make sure I'm not being unrealistic about my proportions. At any rate, if someone noticed, I very much doubt they would comment because it would mean admitting they've been staring at your crotch. Awkward for any combination of genders in terms of who they are and how they see you. If someone made a comment on my bulge I'd either react like "Dude, why the hell are you looking there?" or make some comment on how they could've just asked for my number if they were interested. :P And if they're perceiving you as female (though from your profile pic I don't see how they could), tell them it's just a fold in the fabric, and once again, feel free to give them a look of utter bewilderment/disgust and let them know they're being creepy.
Wrote this before you mentioned already being out... I think some of what I've said still applies though.
If you're out at work then I wouldn't worry about it at all. You're a guy, and most guy's have bulges. If they're too stupid to put two and two together then their opinions don't matter. If someone is rude enough to ask then tell them it's a prosthetic and leave it at that.
Packing, IMO, is more for us anyway. It helps me mentally and helps my bottom dysphoria. It can also be a sealing deal in passing since packing isn't very common in society so people don't automatically think that. Therefore, I don't care what the people who know I'm trans think about my packing.
Quote from: Radar on May 03, 2011, 02:54:04 PM
Packing, IMO, is more for us anyway.
This. I pack all the time, and as far as I know nobody's ever noticed. It's more of a mental comfort thing than for passing. Unless you're wearing skinny jeans or something I wouldn't really worry about it.
Lee, that's good to know, or at least hear. I've got the same worries as Andy, my friend's been trying to break me of it but ehh...it stills weirds me out. Plus that fear of someone I know (regardless if I'm out to them or not) noticing/saying something.
I used to get really freaked out about packing and though everyone would notice. As long as I have it positioned correctly and it's not floating around or anything, though, it isn't really noticeable, and I've gotten over it. It's still something I worry about with swimming, though; most people I know know that I am trans and that therefore I don't have a penis that looks like a cis man's penis, and since packing while swimming tends to be more obvious since swim clothes cling when wet, I feel really self-conscious about it. I suspect I'll get over that in time, too, though.
I used to have extreme anxiety about packing. I was always concerned that someone was going to comment. I now will pack with skinny jeans and no one's said anything. I packed at home first, so I could get a feel, and kind of ... play around until I could get comfortable with it. The biggest reasons for me to pack are so that my skinny jeans or dress trousers drape properly, otherwise I don't really care. Let it take as much time to get used to as you need. I'm not out to many, and no one's noticed (well... maybe one friend), if you're out, you should be fine.
I would just go for it, and see how it goes.
Also, most people never notice stuff like that. And even if they did, they probably won't say anything about it. Who would want to start that conversation? "Well, I noticed your crotch was bulging more than usual, and I was wondering why." XD Nobody, at the very least, wants to admit that they were looking.
Depending on how you adjust things you can make it look either less or more noticeable (well, you'd have to be wearing briefs or boxer briefs because with actual boxers that wouldn't really work the same).
Used to scare the crap out of me, at least while I hang out in my dorm (the girls in my hall are not too trans friendly and already stare me down. Can't wait until gender neutral housing in the fall). I used to be paranoid that everyone was going to notice something that wasn't there before. But honestly, like other people have said, hardly anybody notices. Only one guy in my calculus class noticed: my name on the attendance roster is "Emily," I cross-dress etc., and I caught him staring at my crotch confused. It might have pissed me off under normal circumstances, but really it just made me laugh to see his confusion. It let me know that my new packer was realistic enough for him lol. That was a strange event, and really it had more to do with my name on the roster, and you've got nothing to worry about.
you should just do what will make you most comfortable. Nobody will even notice in all likelihood, and even if someone does and is rude enough to say something, sassy remarks are in order.
Quote from: Nikolai_S on May 03, 2011, 02:48:51 PM
tell them it's just a fold in the fabric, and once again, feel free to give them a look of utter bewilderment/disgust and let them know they're being creepy.
That. I often look like I have a buldge because of the way I like my pants to fit so the fabric around the zipper frequently poofs out causing that but honestly I doubt anyone will notice man. I have the fear of it falling out because I've yet to find a good solution but I think when I can afford the one I want I'll pack and that's what I'll be doing if anyone asks about the buldge
Quote from: milly on May 04, 2011, 08:18:51 PMOnly one guy in my calculus class noticed: my name on the attendance roster is "Emily," I cross-dress etc., and I caught him staring at my crotch confused.
If you identify as a man then you're not cross dressing. ;)
My experience is certainly that no one notices--everyone takes me for female regardless of what I've got in my pants. A different situation than being out as trans, though.
I stopped packing a long time ago, none seems to notice, not even when I go to get
pants altered. They just take me for a male.
Quote from: Radar on May 05, 2011, 07:17:20 AM
If you identify as a man then you're not cross dressing. ;)
very true :)
Size wise I would err on the side of caution - nobodies going to notice if you haven't got a bulge but I think they might if it was too big. I tried packing with prosthetics but I found even the smallest shop bought packers seemed to look huge. So now I pack with socks.
I also think it depends on what kind of pants you wear. I have to reroll my packer and fix it differently depending on what pants I'm wearing.
I notice peoples crotches quite a lot :embarrassed:, but I'd never start a conversation about it.
YES! I stupidly bought the 5", thinking it would be more scale-friendly since I'm 5'10, but the damn thing seemed to adjust every time I sat down and stood up. I was so paranoid one day at a doctor's appointment, I scurried out of the office, yanked it OUT in the parking lot and hid it under the seat of the car. Never wore that one since.
I have since purchased the 3.5" and it still feels like it sticks out too much. I think I'm just anatomically weird. Even with different underwear/ETC. So, I just go without. I don't think too many people are staring at my crotch to begin with... lol.
I wish they could come out with one that would represent a guys junk SMUSHED as if it was in underwear-- I think the plumpness of the packers doesn't play too well for some of us. I'm certain a fully flaccid guy might lack the bulk... unsure, but ...hey. I can hope! lol
Kinda wish I could wear one. Gives you that little boost in confidence for macho sake. =P
I tried packing for the first time every yesterday, poor-kid style with just a sock rolled up, and it was...interesting. I passed, 100%, but lately I do anyway. It didn't freak me out as much as I thought it would, it actually felt...surprisingly normal.
Ben's been bugging me to just try it lately, he knows how much of a wuss I can be about trying new things so he's big on reminding me that I'm home alone most of the time, so I could just run around pantless if I wanted to, sticking different things down there to see how they look. I wouldn't, 'cause that would be awkward, but still...he's got a point. I think I might try doing it again. I don't think it made a visible difference, or at least not a big one but yeah...I'm understanding a bit why so many guys feel more comfortable doing it.
Nick, if you end up with some extra cash on hand, I would definitely recommend getting a soft packer. I had a similar normal/comfortable feeling using a sock, but packing with a regular packer helped a lot more with how I felt about things down there. Of course, everyone's different, but it's worth a shot. You could also try a condom/hairgel homemade one.
Quote from: joeybrogue on May 06, 2011, 02:44:42 PM
Kinda wish I could wear one. Gives you that little boost in confidence for macho sake. =P
Joey, have you thought of altering an existing packer? Maybe trim some off the balls or something? I guess it depends on your harness, but it's worth thinking about.
ETA: maybe you just haven't found the right harness or the best way to wear your packer?
I kinda have this fear but packing makes me feel more comfortable. What I am doing is I found a great way to pack (boxer breifs with iron on velcro to keep the pouch closed) I pack at my house and walk around outside to the mailbox or the end of the street where there are not many ppl.
I also remind myself that if someone makes a comment I can tell them that they are pervy for looking at my crotch and if said dick manages to escape and they see to look them dead in the eye and tell them I was in an accident and I would rather not talk about it, pick up my packer and calmly walk away.
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on May 09, 2011, 04:38:27 AM
I also remind myself that if someone makes a comment I can tell them that they are pervy for looking at my crotch and if said dick manages to escape and they see to look them dead in the eye and tell them I was in an accident and I would rather not talk about it, pick up my packer and calmly walk away.
Thanks for that. I don't know how well it would work (seeing as how my packer is bright pink); I think if it were a legit prosthetic, then it would probably be a better sell, but that's a good explanation to have ready just in case.
I don't really have a fear of packing anymore. I keep my packer very close to my body, so I have a minimal bulge. And like a few others said, if I do catch someone looking, then I can call them out on being a perv.
Arch,
That's a good idea... Although I fear I'll mutilate the poor thing to death... but since it's only collecting dust, maybe it would be a worthwhile idea!
Thanks!
How would you make a sock work? And how do you know is it is too much or too little? How do you make it look realistic?
Quote from: HonestReflections on June 03, 2011, 09:08:10 PM
How would you make a sock work? And how do you know is it is too much or too little? How do you make it look realistic?
You're gonna have to mess around a little, see what looks natural on your frame. I don't suggest staring at a bunch of crotches in person lol, but maybe check out catalogs and stuff like that online to get an idea of what you're shooting for.
But how do you pack with a sock?
just kinda ball it up and stick it in your briefs
Will it stay there? I wear boxers.. I still have my female underwear if I had to wear them..
No....you'll need something close to your skin, like briefs.
Just check out the intro stuff here, it'll probably answer your questions
http://www.ftmguide.org/packing.html (http://www.ftmguide.org/packing.html)
You could safety pin it into place with boxers
I definitely have a lot to learn still. i feel like an idiot when I apck and bind... am I the only one?
Quote from: HonestReflections on June 04, 2011, 09:10:20 PM
I definitely have a lot to learn still. i feel like an idiot when I apck and bind... am I the only one?
Honestly when I first started binding I was pre-T and was still having a lot of anxiety around thinking that it was noticable that I had breasts and was worried that people would be like "why doesn't that girl have tits" but now as I pass more and more (about 95%-98% of the time) I feel more and more comfortable.
Quote from: joeybrogue on May 06, 2011, 02:44:42 PM
YES! I stupidly bought the 5", thinking it would be more scale-friendly since I'm 5'10, but the damn thing seemed to adjust every time I sat down and stood up. I was so paranoid one day at a doctor's appointment, I scurried out of the office, yanked it OUT in the parking lot and hid it under the seat of the car. Never wore that one since.
I have since purchased the 3.5" and it still feels like it sticks out too much. I think I'm just anatomically weird. Even with different underwear/ETC. So, I just go without. I don't think too many people are staring at my crotch to begin with... lol.
I wish they could come out with one that would represent a guys junk SMUSHED as if it was in underwear-- I think the plumpness of the packers doesn't play too well for some of us. I'm certain a fully flaccid guy might lack the bulk... unsure, but ...hey. I can hope! lol
Kinda wish I could wear one. Gives you that little boost in confidence for macho sake. =P
fwiw, a guy's "natural" size (flaccid) is between 2"-4". (In cold water, like when one is swimming in a river, flaccid can be as small as 1"...little nubbers :-X ) Full erection is about 6"-7" (and *very* obvious...especially in math class when you're called to explain a problem on the board...don't ask how I know). Also, flaccid is a bit thinner around, I don't know the measurements, but it seems about half as thick (circumference) as an erect member.
I once told someone that T makes you grow a dick. It is true, though not what they assume.
I packed before coming out and nobody noticed. I have stopped packing since lower surgery with the exception of the day I wore a suit, and nobody has noticed.
I packed for me. I prefer loose boxers and they are not conducive to packing unless I use a harness, so I don't bother any more.
One thing I used to do with the 3.5 packer was to point the shaft up and along the leg band of my tighty whities. Made the bulge less obvious.
Jay
That helped out a lot. I know that binding makes me feel better because I look more like a guy. But i feel foolish too. IDK how to explain it. Not worried about passing because my roomate watches my back. But IDK how to explain it.
Quote from: joeybrogue on May 06, 2011, 02:44:42 PM
I wish they could come out with one that would represent a guys junk SMUSHED as if it was in underwear-- I think the plumpness of the packers doesn't play too well for some of us. I'm certain a fully flaccid guy might lack the bulk... unsure, but ...hey. I can hope! lol
It's balls that give you bulk. If you don't have big balls and you have an average size dick you're not going to have an overly huge, highly noticeable package. I think a lot of the packers are not very realistic in proportion. And they have flat balls which I can't even fathom why they do that (I mean really, is a more 3D mold that much harder to produce?). I think they make the dicks bigger to compensate for the flat balls or something. But really, I would say there's a large number of FTM guys that are between 5' - 5'5" tall and generally I would think that more times than not, guys that size would not have huge dicks. So why they're making 4" - 6" flaccid packers is beyond me.
Quote from: alohamisha on May 05, 2011, 11:23:33 AM
I stopped packing a long time ago, none seems to notice, not even when I go to get
pants altered. They just take me for a male.
though I'm not quite sure any tailor would ask about his customers' genitals..
Quote from: RyGuy on June 19, 2011, 08:59:18 PM
though I'm not quite sure any tailor would ask about his customers' genitals..
They will ask if you dress left or right. This means which way your cock hangs.
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on June 20, 2011, 02:06:27 AM
They will ask if you dress left or right. This means which way your cock hangs.
I know that. I was just saying that it's unlikely that someone would bring up your genitals in professional conversation- "so I noticed you don't have a dick..."