Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

::) Desperate times calls for desperate measures...Or do they???

::) For most [but not all] people who were born with  gender dysphoria, our journey of discovery that is, coming to terms with our condition, can also mean great sacrifice...Some have or still are struggling with the lost of family, friends, spouses, children, jobs, etc :icon_cry2:, whilst others have just accepted their fate and moved on with their lives :icon_chillpill:...

I know that in a sense one can never truly prepare oneself fully for such loss, but sadly this is part of life for those of us who are or have suffered from gender dysphoria..

What are you prepared to [or what have you already] give up in order to be true to yourselves and others ?

My personal sacrifice was minimal, it was not easy by any means, my decision lead to others having to suffer which was not my intention, but fortunately  all worked out well in the end, which in a sense was a small price to pay for 'freedom'

It may not be pleasant to think about, but............. 

Metta Zenda :)     

When I first started working as a jeweler, my boss told me that she was so glad that I had applied because she was afraid she'd end up having to work with a guy, and she was not willing to do that.  ::)  Quitting to present as more male felt like giving something up at first, but it's actually been one of the best things I've ever done.

I'm really not okay with losing people though, and that fear is one of the main things holding me back.

I don't see "Marriage" in the poll, and that is about the only thing I've had to give up - my marriage.  However, my ex and I are not enemies, she has met me and is now okay with being around me, and I think we will be friends.  My children (adults) still love and respect me (and even admire me for my strength, courage and integrity), almost all of my friends are still friends, the people at work accept me completely (I'm just finishing up my second week full-time), and I honestly feel like I've hardly had to give up much of anything, except a lot of money (for therapy, laser sessions, wardrobe change, etc...)

Even my parents, siblings and extended family love and support me.

When I came out, I lost my spouse and my beautiful home.  Then a year into RLE and being out at work, I lost that too.

There is a saying "If you are not ready to lose everything, Do not Transition".

Kia Ora Colleen,

::)  Sorry I forgot to add "Marriage" , I was only thinking along the lines of giving up ones relationship with ones partner/spouse...But I guess ticking the  "spouse" box would suffice, because she is no longer your spouse=partner in marriage...

But it does sound like you are truly fortunate to have come through this ordeal virtually in one piece...I'm truly happy for you and hope that others are as fortunate...

Kia Ora Lee,

::) There was one person whom I looked on as a close friend even though he lived in another country, we had been through a lot together-moved to Australia together back when I was 16, we had remained in contact for many years, even after I had moved over to Aotearoa [NZ], but when I told him of my gender dysphoria and I was about to affirm my gender, he cut all contact with me...I just see it as his loss, not mine...

A part from him, like Colleen I too have been fortunate in this department, coming through my transition virtually unscathed, not only have I retained my friends and family [the friends that count that is, I didn't really have many people whom I would call friends back in my past life], I also have gained new friends, who for the most part have become 'family', some who know of my past and some who don't...

Kia Ora Janet,

::) Sorry to hear about you losing your spouse, house and job, but there's another saying "Time heals all wounds!" and for the most part this is true...Another more positive way to look at it is when you hit rock bottom the only way from there is up! It would seem I also forgot to add "property" to the list...

Metta Zenda :)

I came out at work, and then my job ended today as it would have regardless.  I'm no longer a student, my six-month post-graduation employment extension has expired, and now I'm unemployed.  Yikes.  But this wasn't a transition-related loss.

All of my relationships with friends remained intact, and actually grew as transition pushed me out of a hermit lifestyle and turned me into a social butterfly.  I even gained two new best friends and my ex-wife and I appear to have rekindled our friendship (which should never have turned into a marriage in the first place, which we're both wise to--and laugh about--now).  The marriage certainly didn't end based on trans-related issues, as she only found out about me three weeks ago.

The relationships with my mom's side of the family, immediate and extended, strengthened.  My stepdad, who's been more of a father to me than my biological dad, gave me his blessing to take his last name so that I can now join the family who loves me in name and spirit.

Except for two of my sisters, the relationship with my dad's side (including my stepmom) is beyond repair and will shatter when they find out I'm trans.  It's been 30 years since my parents divorced, but you'd think my dad and stepmom were still at war with my mom.  They abused me heavily as a child, filled my head with negativity, self-doubt, and hatred that's taken me years to expunge. I went to school lying about the bruises they caused, lied to social services, lied to police, and lied to myself.  Since my divorce three years ago, they began cutting me out of their lives (because they believed my mom was the impetus, despite my ex being the one who filed).  Since Obama was elected and I voted for him, they cut me out even more and told me I deserve everything bad that ever happens to me, and hoped I'd get more bad in the future.  They've always tried to force a decision on me: sever ties with my mom and gain their twisted respect, or continue my relationship with my loving mother and receive their scorn.  I'm sick to death of their abuse and then apologizing for the inconvenience I caused them having to abuse me in the first place, just so they'll start talking to me again.  I'm done.  No more.  The strong woman I am now is going to do what the cowering boy could never do: end this poisonous relationship.

So being trans has nothing to do with the reasons why that relationship will end, but is the impetus for ending it.  And quite frankly, it'll be one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

Now I'm adrift in life, no job, researching graduate programs, and no clue what's next.  Will being trans hinder me?  I'm not sure, but I know that if I remain strong, any damage should be minimal and long-term damage nonexistent.

So far I have not given up anything, although I'm not quite FT. Certainly friends I have gained more than I ever had, family are all fine. Society is fine, social life is great. Work are coming to realise something weird is going on. But no negative comments.

Cindy

Kia Ora, Zenda,

     I was prepared to give up everything I'd worked for all my life.  I'm a late life transitioner and fear of all these things kept me in the closet.  The pain of living a lie finally forced me to look at my life and understand that I just couldn't go on like this any longer.

     Times have changed and evolved favorably for trans people in the last 20 years.  I finally realized that it was possible to transition and be successful just in the last few years.

     As it happened, I've lost very little.  I lived as an anti-social person and rarely went to social activities.  Now, I'm an extremely social person.  I've lost some close friends, but I see this as a gift, for their reaction to my transition shows me their true nature and I'd have never found out what back-stabbing liars they were without it. :)

     Many people I know tell me they admire my courage and respect me more for transitioning than before.  Go figure.

     I have more friends now than before and I've kept my job and marriage.  You never know what tomorrow will bring, but I'm comfortable with all this today. 

     So, I went into this transition willing to lose everything and I've come out on the other side with more than I had before.  There is a Goddess.

     Metta,  ReJoyce

relationship (though happily, but with living together it made it differcult)
job (mutual to a degree, though I miss it... just not the people)
most of my old friends (a lot were the kind that refused to grow up so no great loss.. would of happened sooner than later anyway)
two brothers (mmmmmm they may come around with time, but I'm not fussed either way).

they are the bigger losses though with time they seem so trivial ...more or less. I'm happy with where I'm at now! :D

I was willing to loose everything for transition, i've been lucky though most people have been really supportive. Sadly transition cost me my dad and my favourite aunt, even though it hurts it was worth it to become the much happier person I am today.

I voted "None of the above"

Family including extended family - Blood is thicker than water. I'm not ready to "lose" them, but then, I have no reason to fear I may lose them.

Spouse - A person who doesn't accept "me" shouldn't be my spouse anyway.

Children - I worried about this a little actually, but I'm not becoming a worse parent by being me and I have no reason to fear that my ex will take my daughter from me. The law is on my side on this.

Friends - I don't want to be friends with bigots...

Move away from the area - I refuse to let bigots drive my away.. (not that I've had to fear that... )

Give up your job - Don't have one! Unless you count my art...

I have to say none of the above because as it happened I lost absolutely nothing - and gained my whole life, however in theory I would have been prepared to lose it all. Happily I never got to find out if I could do it for real.

Quote from: Zenda on May 05, 2011, 04:32:53 PM
Kia Ora,

::) Desperate times calls for desperate measures...Or do they???

::) For most [but not all] people who were born with  gender dysphoria, our journey of discovery that is, coming to terms with our condition, can also mean great sacrifice...Some have or still are struggling with the lost of family, friends, spouses, children, jobs, etc :icon_cry2:, whilst others have just accepted their fate and moved on with their lives :icon_chillpill:...

I know that in a sense one can never truly prepare oneself fully for such loss, but sadly this is part of life for those of us who are or have suffered from gender dysphoria..

What are you prepared to [or what have you already] give up in order to be true to yourselves and others ?

My personal sacrifice was minimal, it was not easy by any means, my decision lead to others having to suffer which was not my intention, but fortunately  all worked out well in the end, which in a sense was a small price to pay for 'freedom'

It may not be pleasant to think about, but............. 

Metta Zenda :)     

I was willing to give up everything, it had gotten to the point it was a life or death decision for me.  In death you lose it all anyway so i was already prepared to say my goodbyes to people when i took my shot at life.  So in short, everything that i held dear i was willing to lose for just 1 day to be the woman I always thought I would be, luckily i not only got 1 day but going on 2 years now full time as a passable woman.  I didnt lose much just a few friends, my family for a time, but they came back to me, now my life cant be happier.

Kia Ora,
::)  It's warming to see that there are some here who have triumphed over adversity...And for those who are still struggling, may you draw some inspiration from the members here and achieve your goals whatever they might be... There's life after "Transition"...

Metta Zenda :)

I didn't vote at all, because I wasn't exactly sure what to put. I came out to my girlfriend of 7 years and it caused a lot of issues. At this point, we're not really sure what we are anymore-whether we're dating, best friends who occasionally have sex and are affectionate, or some other more vague thing. Some of that's due to me being trans, and some of it isn't.

Overall, I lucked out big time so far. I don't know how far along I am, compared to a lot on here I'm nowhere (No surgery, no legal changes, haven't even seen a therapist but I'm out to almost everyone and go out as male 100% of the time) but so far I've only gained things. My family, the ones that know, finally understand me. They get why I tried to kill myself, why I was an alcoholic, why I drugged myself stupid through most of high school and they can see how much better I am now. It's made us closer, for the most part. I'm just exceptionally lucky in the family department though, trans or not. And I feel guilty about it so often, seeing the ridiculous amounts of pain and struggle so many of you have dealt with, I feel like I don't deserve people this incredible.

Hell, even with my friends I feel guilty. My boyfriend's mother abused him his entire life, nearly disowned him for wearing nail polish. NAIL POLISH FFS. If she found out he was with me? She'd probably kill him. Or me.

I've thought about it though, about what I'm willing to lose. Family never came to mind. I know my family, they've supported me through so much, the worst I feared from them was an inordinate amount of concern and over-protectiveness. My dad still doesn't know, but that's a whole different story. Our relationship has always been really distant and weird.  The big thing for me was me and Julie, and I told her at one point that if I kept forcing myself to be something I wasn't, something was going to break. Me, her, my sanity, everything we owned...something. Hell, maybe everything. I was getting more miserable by the second keeping up the bull->-bleeped-<- and I hate that even now, so much of that still digs at me. I've got so much resentment and bitterness towards her, for things she's said and done and ignored.

I can't vote with a straight answer.

I would walk away from everything, but I know that I don't have to. This is my struggle, being willing and able to let everything go while feeling like I can salvage the major relationships in my life. Can it be done? I think so.

I gained far more than I lost.

 think before long and i transition compleatly ...with all the hatred in the world for trans people i will loose my life to it ....
i had a close shave today with three homaphbic youngsters in newham giving me greif....
me and my brother sent them running but i feer this is just the start.

I put nothing! because I will detransition rather then loose the love from my children. I am not like so many others that say they will give up everything to transition. If I didn't have children that depended on me I would feel diferent. Would I care if I lost my job due to trans? No I hate it now and am looking into a different field.  Would I care if I have no money to support my family if I loose my job? Yes.

I don't WANT to loose anything, but I know I may end up loosing some things. I have lost certain aspects and things of my life already, and it hasn't stoped me.

I am at the crossroads as I write this, my therapist has given me an ultimatem let someone in on my transition or he may not be able to see me anymore. I have been seeing him for a year now, he has finaly brought this up. I don't blame him, he told me he is not doing his job if he doesn't finaly help me come out. He gives all his clients up to a year to make progress of coming out.

I have done so much soul searching this weekend, and to be truthfull very suicidal. My life is not in a good place now, I could come up with a list of 100 things why my life sucks and one reason it doesn't MY CHILDREN. Am I just going to make thing worse but I also don't know if things can be any worse. Maybe my children will be better off without a freak for a dad. I am sorry for this post I don't know how to do this, I can't go back but I can't go foward. I am so scrwed up.

Quote from: Just Shelly on May 08, 2011, 05:53:48 PM
I put nothing! because I will detransition rather then loose the love from my children. I am not like so many others that say they will give up everything to transition. If I didn't have children that depended on me I would feel diferent. Would I care if I lost my job due to trans? No I hate it now and am looking into a different field.  Would I care if I have no money to support my family if I loose my job? Yes.

I don't WANT to loose anything, but I know I may end up loosing some things. I have lost certain aspects and things of my life already, and it hasn't stoped me.

I am at the crossroads as I write this, my therapist has given me an ultimatem let someone in on my transition or he may not be able to see me anymore. I have been seeing him for a year now, he has finaly brought this up. I don't blame him, he told me he is not doing his job if he doesn't finaly help me come out. He gives all his clients up to a year to make progress of coming out.

I have done so much soul searching this weekend, and to be truthfull very suicidal. My life is not in a good place now, I could come up with a list of 100 things why my life sucks and one reason it doesn't MY CHILDREN. Am I just going to make thing worse but I also don't know if things can be any worse. Maybe my children will be better off without a freak for a dad. I am sorry for this post I don't know how to do this, I can't go back but I can't go foward. I am so scrwed up.

Kia Ora Shelly,

::)  I've been where you're at...Think about this carefully...Would your children sooner a "dead" father or a live "trans-parent"...Pondering this thought had in the past stop any feeling of suicide that I once felt...My unconditional love for my children [which no doubt you too have for yours] won through, and the other wonderful thing about life is, Father Time has a way of healing all wounds! Things might not be exactly the same as before, but then NOTHING is permanent...

Unconditional love between parent and child and visa versa is a bond that can make all things possible and worthwhile...And it sound to me that you share this kind of love with your children...

Metta Zenda :)

Shelly, I am, in part, transitioning FOR my child. I can't encourage her to be herself when I'm hiding behind a withering male mask. You've seen my daughter, the unconditional love she displays, the incredible amount of "whatever-ness" just emanating from her is refreshing. I don't know your family, but I have a small idea of how children operate in the world. I didn't even announce it to my baby, one day she woke up and there I was cooking her breakfast in full femme. She absolutely loved it, then dragged me into the room to get me to try on every piece of girl clothes in the house with her.

Have you given the thought of doing this for your children's benefit any serious consideration? 

They will eventually have the benefit of being in a diverse, open minded, inspiring family environment at least half of the time (the half spent with you), if only you stay strong and stick to your guns. Show them how to fight for themselves and the things they believe in, how to stand up to discrimination and face down fear. They lose nothing by your being who you need to be, in fact they gain quite a bit more from the experience.

Kia Ora,

::)  Sadly those of us who have children have one of the most difficult decisions to make and the most nagging question for most is "What are my children going to think, how are they going to handle this ?" 

How things pan out in the end has a lot to do with the relationship one has with ones child/children, the child/children's age and the relationship the trans-parent has with their spouse [the mother or father of their child/children]...

If one have built a solid relationship with their children based upon love and mutual respect, it will be a lot harder for the other partner to dismantle it, if they were to decide to try and use the child/children as a weapon against you...

I was somewhat fortunate in that my ex had no ill will towards me [nor me towards her] and the unconditional love we both shared with our children was stronger than any negative feelings that might have arisen between us...The physical and mental well being of our children was always at the forefront...

BTW Valerie, what your daughter said to you "Love the person, not the body" must have been one of the sweetest sound to hear ever...

Whenever I talk with or see my children, I always let them know how much I love and truly appreciate them...and the feelings are mutual...     

Metta Zenda  :)

Quote::)  Sadly those of us who have children have one of the most difficult decisions to make and the most nagging question for most is "What are my children going to think, how are they going to handle this ?" 

Yeesh, I could only imagine. That's one of the absolute biggest reasons I'm waiting a long time, if ever, to have kids.
I don't know what upsets/depresses me more, parents that would abandon their children, or children that would abandon their parents.

Quote from: N.Chaos on May 09, 2011, 01:31:57 AM

I don't know what upsets/depresses me more, parents that would abandon their children, or children that would abandon their parents.

Kia Ora Chaos,

::) Tis extremely saddening either way one looks at it... I wonder what's more common...A trans-person being disowned by the parent/s or by the child/children?

The children of a trans-parent, have a lot to get their tiny minds around...My oldest was almost 13 and youngest 5 when I dropped the "trans" bomb shell on them[my two youngest I held off for a while longer before telling them]...
However they all seemed to have coped quite well, not much in the way of  shell shock, so to speak... But it did take time, lots of tears [more so on my part] love and patience...Patience being the key when dealing with a child's emotions...

The gender counsellor that I saw had a friend who was a child psychologist whom she consulted with on my behalf about coming out to my children and what was the best approach... She was told it was better the trans-parent told their children earlier on during the transition [especially if one has already started HRT] because it's better this kind of info comes from a person the children trusts, loves and respect than from a stranger or family acquaintance [someone who has started to see some changes in your physical appearance]  who might attempt to poison their minds with all the bigoted holier than thou crap and about being a sinner and going to hell... Fortunately for me this wouldn't have mattered much anyway, my children are either agnostic or atheist  ;)


Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Just Shelly on May 08, 2011, 05:53:48 PMI have done so much soul searching this weekend, and to be truthfull very suicidal. My life is not in a good place now, I could come up with a list of 100 things why my life sucks and one reason it doesn't MY CHILDREN. Am I just going to make thing worse but I also don't know if things can be any worse. Maybe my children will be better off without a freak for a dad. I am sorry for this post I don't know how to do this, I can't go back but I can't go foward. I am so scrwed up.

Shelly, from where I sit, you are fooling yourself, or trying to.  You are also basing your plans on several huge and, I think, unwarranted assumptions.  You assume you will be universally rejected if you come out.  I felt the same way.  I am now out and proud, full-time, out to ALL my extended family, friends-of-family, cousins, aunts, uncles, wife, children, etc.  NONE of them have rejected me.  My parents are REPUBLICANS.  They have not rejected me.  Their love for me helped them see me for who I am, and love me.  It can be the same for you.  If you truly see yourself as a freak ("freak for a dad"), I think THAT is your biggest problem.  You need to accept YOU.  THEN you will be able to project yourself into the world with confidence.  Work on that.  You'll be VERY glad you did!

Already broke up with my girlfriend because of this. We are still friends but she didn't think she could be in relationship with another woman. Sad but better than what most have experienced.

Actually I am lucky that everyone I have come out to have been supportive.

Quote from: Zenda on May 10, 2011, 10:42:09 PM
Kia Ora Chaos,

::) Tis extremely saddening either way one looks at it... I wonder what's more common...A trans-person being disowned by the parent/s or by the child/children?

The children of a trans-parent, have a lot to get their tiny minds around...My oldest was almost 13 and youngest 5 when I dropped the "trans" bomb shell on them[my two youngest I held off for a while longer before telling them]...
However they all seemed to have coped quite well, not much in the way of  shell shock, so to speak... But it did take time, lots of tears [more so on my part] love and patience...Patience being the key when dealing with a child's emotions...

The gender counsellor that I saw had a friend who was a child psychologist whom she consulted with on my behalf about coming out to my children and what was the best approach... She was told it was better the trans-parent told their children earlier on during the transition [especially if one has already started HRT] because it's better this kind of info comes from a person the children trusts, loves and respect than from a stranger or family acquaintance [someone who has started to see some changes in your physical appearance]  who might attempt to poison their minds with all the bigoted holier than thou crap and about being a sinner and going to hell... Fortunately for me this wouldn't have mattered much anyway, my children are either agnostic or atheist  ;)


Metta Zenda :)

Well, that's awesome that your's went over so well. That makes a lot of sense, telling them early on so they grow up with it being normal. I'm waiting, without a doubt. I don't even know what's going on in my personal life right now, relationships are just...insane currently. I'm waiting at least five more years before I even think about kids. If it's possible though, I want to transition before I have them. I feel like it'd make life easier.

Quote from: Colleen Ireland on May 11, 2011, 05:57:28 AM
Shelly, from where I sit, you are fooling yourself, or trying to.  You are also basing your plans on several huge and, I think, unwarranted assumptions.  You assume you will be universally rejected if you come out.  I felt the same way.  I am now out and proud, full-time, out to ALL my extended family, friends-of-family, cousins, aunts, uncles, wife, children, etc.  NONE of them have rejected me.  My parents are REPUBLICANS.  They have not rejected me.  Their love for me helped them see me for who I am, and love me.  It can be the same for you.  If you truly see yourself as a freak ("freak for a dad"), I think THAT is your biggest problem.  You need to accept YOU.  THEN you will be able to project yourself into the world with confidence.  Work on that.  You'll be VERY glad you did!

Colleen

Thank you for your kind thoughts. :angel:

I know you are right, I just have to do it.

Shelly

Quote from: Zenda on May 08, 2011, 06:26:03 PM
Unconditional love between parent and child and visa versa is a bond that can make all things possible and worthwhile...And it sound to me that you share this kind of love with your children...

Metta Zenda :)

Zenda

Thank you, for your inspirational words.

I do have this with my children, I feel this from them as much as I hope they do from me.

I just don't know if it is enough for us to survive through this.

Shelly

@Shelly

As a parent going through a separation with my wife, I can tell you that I am terrified that being transgendered  will somehow affect my 2 year old daughter. But it won't. Ever. Some people may like to think it will, but they are just being selfish. In fact, I've noticed that those who say I am selfish for doing this, that I am taking it out on my daughter, are in fact, being selfish themselves.

Here is the simple truth about why I ultimately decided to transition: I could not tell my daughter to be her all, or be herself, while not leading by example. I simply could not LIVE with being that kind of hypocrite. I am not a perfect parent, and I, just like every other parent out there, will find a way to screw up their kid's life someway. It's all damage control. Trust me, being transgendered is not going bother your child, more than likely, than not buying them "that" car when they are sixteen. Let's dwell on that for a minute.

Don't let fearmongering rule you. I did for far too long. And it was for nothing, just lost time. Take that time for you and your children. You, and they, will come to love you for it.

I wish us both luck!

Quote from: Just Shelly on May 11, 2011, 07:14:07 PM
Zenda

Thank you, for your inspirational words.

I do have this with my children, I feel this from them as much as I hope they do from me.

I just don't know if it is enough for us to survive through this.

Shelly

Kia Ora Shelly,

The power of POSITIVE THINKING !

You are what you think you are Shelly and others just see what you want them to see!

Metta Zenda :)

Kia Ora,

"Fear is just a figment of ones imagination which one chooses to entertain!"

Metta Zenda :)

  None of the above.  I'm not married and never had kids.  No job, early forced retirement, I am not leaving this neighborhood anytime soon.  My family, including the extended ones have accepted my position on this.  I have received extended hugs on the greetings and the goodbyes from my sisters and the aunts since my announcement. 
  Joelene 

I picked the following

Family including extended family
Friends
Move away from the area
Give up your job

However, in reality I never really did give up anything in the long run.  How you may ask?

I left my family and friends behind one year later, when I finally realised that I was a female.  I did not realise at that time that I was giving up my family and friends so that I could live my life. My family thought that I was leaving to go to university, my friends did not even know that I was leaving.  Moving away resulted in me leaving my current job and of course moving away from an area that I loved and spent around 15 years of my life.

Fast forward to the present.  My family found out and fortunately for me my family is totally accepting of me and eventually I caught up with my family one by one after not seeing them for about 4 years.  As for past friends, I have not caught up with.  One high school friend who had links with my family eventually found out and wanted to get in contact with me and long story short this high school friend is totally accepting of me and we often talk away the hours every so often and one time we caught up with each other and spent a wonderful evening talking about everything.

As for my job I initially continued with my job in a new location and as a result. It provided me with the ability to achieve what I wanted.  Years later I eventually went to university and as a result I eventually changed my career.

So in a sense I was prepared to give up everything, I did not have a spouse or children at the time, so that is why I did not include them.  However, the end result is actually 'none of the above' and similar to what Helena said, 'I have gained far more than I ever gave up' and the most important thing I ever gained was the ability to live my life as me.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Kia Ora, Zenda!

Actually, I'm thrilled you are here and am very happy to encounter you again.  Yours is a beautiful soul and you are very much an asset here at Susan's Place!    ;)

Well, I'm nearly 2 weeks fulltime now, and I can say I've lost a lot.  Know what?  It hurts ... too much sometimes.  Often times, I feel my life is over but I soldier on.  Faith.  Belief.  Persistence.

As I write this, my for-now wife is on the phone with her boyfriend (in another state and who she has known for decades) which she is EVERY night.  We're economic roommates only anyway and haven't slept together in years and years, but it hurts anyway.

Job?  Yeah, back in November of 2010 I lost a job and nearly did the streets.  An Angel of Mercy on this forum saved me from that impending catastrophe, and I'm forever grateful to her.  By the way, I'm now paying it forward.  A transbrother on another forum (you would know him) needs financial help, and I'm helping him ... as well as a few other people. 

Friends?  True friends?  Not really.  Been lucky that way.  My long-time friends are still there for me.  These are people I've known for years.  They rock. 

Other than that, I've been pretty lucky.  Honestly, it's okay.  It really is.  So, is transitioning worth it?

Yeah, it is ... definitely!    ;)

Peace and happiness to you!    :D   Lacey Lynne

I have to say that having a child really brought so much of my true self out.  I was a stay-at-home dad for the first couple of years of my son's life.  I enjoyed being in touch with this caring and nurturing side of myself.  My son is still young and has been diagnosed with high-functioning Aspergers.  My biggest fear is to  cause him further stress, as he does not do well with change-- and losing him not to any person, but simply by his withdrawal from external reality.

I was prepared to give it all up. I had to.

Thankfully I did keep my job, some friends, and I have a new family.

Hopefully someday a new spouse too