Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Jes on January 29, 2007, 08:16:33 PM

Title: Advice Please!!
Post by: Jes on January 29, 2007, 08:16:33 PM
Well I feel deeply that Im gay, but also I am having deep feelings that I want to be the opposite gender and that im not happy with who I am. Anyways I just wanted to here from some people on how femine I look, like if my soulders are to wide or so on. Also any other advise you would like to give me that you feel I should know. Also currently I am seeing a thearphist but not a gender one and I soon to see one aswell, and any advice on how to tell my parents about me being gay and a transexual? These advices given will be much appreciated. And if you woul like I will be inserting my email mail to this aswell as some pictures. I will be looking forward to your advice and help. 
Title: Re: Advice Please!!
Post by: BrandiOK on January 30, 2007, 11:36:11 AM
  My advice is SLOW DOWN!!!  Don't get ahead of yourself on this because this is serious business.  I would highly recommend that you NOT discuss any kind of TG issues with your parents until you have seen a qualified gender therapist and you both agree it's time. 

  Transition has nothing to do with your current appearance...there is no such thing as shoulders being too wide.  Transition is about creating harmony between your mind and your body.  Hence the standard saying among many TS individuals "I would rather be an ugly woman than a beautiful man" (vice versa for FtM's). 

  Take your time....don't rush into anything.  See a QUALIFIED gender therapist and go from there.  As I said before this is serious business and every single decision should be wieghed heavily.

  This is all assuming you are of legal age to do this on your own.  If not it may be necessary to confide some of your concerns to your parents in order to see a gender therapist.  The transgender road is a tricky one...you can avoid many of the bumps and bruises of running and stumbling on it by simply walking and carefully placing each step.

 
Title: Re: Advice Please!!
Post by: Krisstina on January 30, 2007, 12:30:33 PM
Perfectly said Bradi I agree 100% slow down get some help!!




Hugs
Kristina
Title: Re: Advice Please!!
Post by: Arias on January 31, 2007, 11:10:17 AM
Quoteand any advice on how to tell my parents about me being gay and a transexual?

When I told my parents how I felt ( about my gender; haven't yet mentioned sexual orientation ), I didn't know anything about it except that I knew that word was finally the one I was looking for to describe this part of who I am. Us three, and my whole family, were new to the information, and we all learned at the same time. It worked. It took them a while, as it does everyone, I think. I didn't seem less credible because all I had were my feelings and no textbooks or shrinks to back me up, just as they weren't less credible in their feelings because all they had were their beliefs. This isn't advice, but it's what I did. Learning together made the road smoother for us.