Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Vince1995 on May 07, 2011, 11:34:23 PM

Title: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Vince1995 on May 07, 2011, 11:34:23 PM
Hearing these words being used to describe people, tick me off and get me annoyed.
I tend to correct said people.

Hermaphrodite.
->-bleeped-<-.

I don't know why, they just seem fairly derogatory to me.
I correct people to Transgender or Transexual and also Intersex.

Do these words bug anyone else like it bugs me, and are there any other words that bug you?
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Sharky on May 07, 2011, 11:38:28 PM
I knew not to use hermaphrodite,  but I didn't know ->-bleeped-<- was bad too. Words like that don't really bother me, but if someone purposely used the wrong pronouns it would.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Nygeel on May 08, 2011, 01:01:17 AM
->-bleeped-<- bothers me when it's referring to people who don't identify as ->-bleeped-<-s. Self identifying with any word is alright but using it to cover a group of people isn't.

I get bothered when people use the word penis to describe a trans woman's genitals, and/or vagina to describe a trans man's.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Lee on May 08, 2011, 01:24:26 AM
To me, ->-bleeped-<- refers to a very specific group of self-identifying individuals, and hermaphrodite refers to animals that have both full sets of reproductive organs.  Neither of which would be an appropriate way of describing most transgendered people.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Vince1995 on May 08, 2011, 01:28:11 AM
Yeah, that is basically what I mean.
Nygeel, that's what I mean. When people call everyone who is Transexual or Transgendered a ->-bleeped-<-. If people self-identify as that, its no big deal. I respect what they wish to be called.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Padma on May 08, 2011, 01:56:27 AM
Aye, "->-bleeped-<-" literally just means "cross-dresser/dressing" and so refers only to clothing choices, and has nothing to do with either sexuality or gender.

"Transsexual" seems to be a more common term in the US than over here in the UK - I prefer "transgender" since it's a gender rather than a sexual issue that's being referred to.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Vince1995 on May 08, 2011, 03:01:21 AM
Quote from: Padma on May 08, 2011, 01:56:27 AM
Aye, "->-bleeped-<-" literally just means "cross-dresser/dressing" and so refers only to clothing choices, and has nothing to do with either sexuality or gender.

To other people it does, and it just bugs me. Especially when they call Transgenders and Transexuals that. Ah well.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: MaxAloysius on May 08, 2011, 05:26:23 AM
I hate when we're referred to as 'transgenders', like rather than saying 'transgender people are etc' they say 'transgenders are etc'. I dunno why, but I hate it.

I also seriously loath the terms '->-bleeped-<-' and 'trap'. Makes me want to punch anyone who says either.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Devin87 on May 08, 2011, 09:29:20 AM
Quote from: MaxAloysius on May 08, 2011, 05:26:23 AM
I hate when we're referred to as 'transgenders', like rather than saying 'transgender people are etc' they say 'transgenders are etc'. I dunno why, but I hate it.

That's the idea behind the "people first" initiative.  We learned about it in my special education class in college.  It's not proper any more to say things like "autistic people".  You're supposed to say "people with autisism" and put the people before the disorder.  Since GID is technically a disorder, it seems like it should fit into this initiative.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Brendon on May 08, 2011, 09:50:59 AM
Personally, I don't like the word transgendered. I don't mind if people use it to describe themselves, but I'd prefer it if people would just use the word transgender when referring to me.
I also don't like it when people use the terms bio guys and bio girls as the opposite of trans guys and trans girls. It makes me wonder if they think I'm not biological or I'm not a guy? lol 
I don't like having the word 'passing' used to describe me either. I prefer 'being read as male' or 'being read correctly'.
(Suffice it to say, several words and terms annoy me. I'm going to stop here for now.  ::))
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Adio on May 08, 2011, 10:36:05 AM
I don't like either of those terms.  But because I don't identify with either one, I'm not sure whether to correct others or not.  I tend to use intersex and cross-dresser.

I agree with Devin on the "people first" wording.  I learned to use that in my writing-intensive class.  I try to use it when I write, but I don't always use it due to habit when I speak.  I also agree with Brendon; I don't like the word "transgendered" either.  It reminds me of other "-ed" words like "colored" instead of using "people of color."

"Passing" does sometimes bother me, but it's much easier to type/say than "being read as male/correctly."  I sometimes use "presenting as male."

This isn't a term that used, but I always notice it when someone who identifies as male says "other girls."  It took me a long time to break that habit.  To me, it sounds like the person saying it includes themselves as a girl in the situation.  Why are they the "other" girls?  Wouldn't it just be "the girls"?  And for guys, it would be the "other guys" (including the speaker as one of the guys in the situation).
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Mika on May 08, 2011, 01:38:21 PM
"->-bleeped-<-" is most predominately used in sociology literature [read: cissexual scientists] to refer to cross-dressing as a fetish. People can identify with whatever terms they want, but personally I find it offensive as well. My gender expression isn't a fetish.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Vince1995 on May 08, 2011, 05:01:53 PM
Lmfao, Mikah. Its not mine either. I like what all of you are saying. Good points everyone has.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Tad on May 08, 2011, 11:06:10 PM
meh - transvestism is on the scales of gender variance right on the same scale as transexuals. It's in the medical books. I'm not bothered by it. It's a legit group of people, and it doesn't bother me when people call transexuals ->-bleeped-<-s - because that's perhaps all they have had exposure to.
Edit.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: N.Chaos on May 09, 2011, 01:50:39 AM
The only term that offends me is "she".
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Mr.Rainey on May 09, 2011, 04:26:04 AM
Feminine pads pisses me the ->-bleeped-<- off. How about masculine pads for us men who manstrate? and stop putting so much pink and flowers on the box dammit. This conditon is degrading as it is.

She/her ect. only piss me off when directed at me. When I don't know the person its great to ignore them and when they say it louder look at them puzzled.

Passing annoys me because it sounds like I am a counterfit. I am not a couterfit man I am a real man. Just because there is some assembly required does not mean I am not the real thing.

Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: N.Chaos on May 10, 2011, 01:23:11 PM
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on May 09, 2011, 04:26:04 AM
Just because there is some assembly required does not mean I am not the real thing.

I like that, a lot.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: PiperEden on May 10, 2011, 02:55:36 PM
I have a lot of issue with those words as well! In fact recently, in my college Biology class my teacher continued to refer to intersex people as "hermaphrodites" even after I politely corrected her. It drove me up the wall, because she was TEACHING which implied she knew what she was talking about.. ;/

The discussion was over whether or not parents should "choose" the sex of an intersex infant. I was disagreeing, saying that there is a huge chance for error in the choice of the parent and the child should make the choice when they feel what gender they are.. It was very frustrating to me. The class was just confused in general, one teen said he'd have wanted his parents to choose so he wouldn't have to have the difficulty of doing it when he was older..  :icon_rolleyes2:

I don't like the term ->-bleeped-<-, because it's used more frequently to describe a crossdressing fetish, so if used in discussing transsexuals/trangendered people it becomes problematic.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Heath on May 11, 2011, 02:03:27 PM
Like N. Chaos, the number 1 terms that pisses me off is "she."  Every time someone calls me that, I seriously hear nails on the chalkboard in my mind and I end up grimacing.

However, "->-bleeped-<-" is another one I've been encountering somewhat frequently these days - I dunno why.  But I wish people would learn the difference between cross-dressing and being a person with transsexualism or ->-bleeped-<-.    Haven't heard "hermaphrodite" in a long time...the last time I did it was just a friend of mine and I talking a few months ago about the ancient Greek god/dess Hermaphroditus.

"Passing" for me implies that I'm "failing" otherwise, and since I don't like failing "tests" I do not like the word, but I still use it.  Yes, I'm weird.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Gabby on May 11, 2011, 02:14:13 PM
Heath avatar alert! you look like a harder version of Robert Patterson lol.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Heath on May 11, 2011, 02:19:32 PM
Hey! That's not bad at all.  I can dig a harder Robert Pattinson look.  As long as I don't sparkle in the sunlight. 

He's better as Cedric Diggory anyways.   ;D
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: piers816 on May 12, 2011, 05:43:47 PM
I actually really hate the word ->-bleeped-<-. It just makes me clench my fists and grit my teeth.
My friend (now girlfriend) called me a ->-bleeped-<- (jokingly) a couple times and it just got under my skin like no tomorrow. She doesn't anymore, after I explained why it bugs me, but just the word pisses me off.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: Sharky on May 12, 2011, 05:54:36 PM
I'm dyslexic and my grammar skills are lacking, so I don't know if this is actually the correct way, but it bothers me when people use male in place of manly, masculine, man, etc. Doesn't sound right to me.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: N.Chaos on May 13, 2011, 03:32:17 PM
->-bleeped-<- doesn't bother me, I don't even know why, it just...doesn't. At least not OL. I've never been called it out in the real world, so that might change, but I've heard so much verbal abuse throughout my life, most of it just doesn't register or ends up making me laugh. I'm fortunate that I seem to either pass well enough, or just confuse people into not knowing so they leave me alone.

And holy crap Heath, you DO look like a better version of Rpattz! Minus the unnecessary "broodyness" and dem eyebrows of his.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: tekla on May 13, 2011, 05:10:57 PM
It's not the words so much as how they are being used and said.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: sascraps on May 13, 2011, 05:32:19 PM
I've been called every disgusting and derogatory name out there except for ->-bleeped-<-. I don't know how I'd feel or if I'd be offended by it since every time I hear the word ->-bleeped-<- in real life, it's short for transmission and is used by mechanics so it doesn't bother me in that sense.
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: GnomeKid on May 14, 2011, 12:45:46 PM
If anyone says anything like that I don't let it upset me because I know they're just not as well read on the subject.  Anyone who calls a transman a ->-bleeped-<- or a hermaphrodite isn't using an offensive term they're just using a blatantly incorrect term.  Take a minute and explain to them what a ->-bleeped-<-/hermaphrodite actually is and how it differs from what you are.  Most of the time they won't have much of anything to say back, which is fine.  Sometimes they'll argue back that there is no difference.  In which case you should just smirk and laugh at their ignorance hoping that someday they get jumped by a gang of brawny drag queens. 
Title: Re: A couple words that tick me off.
Post by: piers816 on May 14, 2011, 03:21:30 PM
Quote from: GnomeKid on May 14, 2011, 12:45:46 PM
If anyone says anything like that I don't let it upset me because I know they're just not as well read on the subject.  Anyone who calls a transman a ->-bleeped-<- or a hermaphrodite isn't using an offensive term they're just using a blatantly incorrect term.  Take a minute and explain to them what a ->-bleeped-<-/hermaphrodite actually is and how it differs from what you are.  Most of the time they won't have much of anything to say back, which is fine.  Sometimes they'll argue back that there is no difference.  In which case you should just smirk and laugh at their ignorance hoping that someday they get jumped by a gang of brawny drag queens.

I disagree. I feel that, in some cases, calling someone a ->-bleeped-<- or a hermaphrodite can be offensive. It is a label that some people use to identify themselves, but the person who is calling another person a ->-bleeped-<- or hermaphrodite may be trying to be offensive or insulting. It might be just confusion or using an incorrect term but from my experience it's usually being used as an offensive term.
(It can also depend on the tone of voice their using.)