i want to so badly. desperately. what if you couldnt get married somehow after your transition? if you have top surgery does that mean your legally a boy or do you have to have a penis and change ur sex legally...or?...*is confused and exasperated* detailed answers please? do you wear a suit??(I will) can you marry either sex depending on your state? do you have a sex at all with no breasts and an intacted vagina?am i freaking out for no reason? help me i dont know what to think!!
In most states you just need to have top surgery to get your papers changed and legally become a man. Just like everyone else, you can wear whatever you want when you get married. If you are a homosexual it depends on your state on who you can marry. You will always have a physical sex. How could you not?
https://www.susans.org/wiki/Category:Documentation_changes (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Category:Documentation_changes)
thank you, but thats what i mean, if your legally a man can you marry one? i have no luck with girls, they are so stuck up towards me...
Quote from: 904-boy on May 14, 2011, 05:53:29 PM
thank you, but thats what i mean, if your legally a man can you marry one? i have no luck with girls, they are so stuck up towards me...
If you are legally a man you can marry another man if your state allows it. You're attracted to men too though, right? If it makes you feel any better Hugh Hefner didn't loose his virginity until he was 22.
i lost my virginity alittle late...18. but yes i'm attracted to both....i love men and women, i see immense beauty in both sexes.damn i want to get married...*slinks off laughing at self*
Ok, the way you worded it just made it seem like you were only going gay because you didn't have luck with girls.
who am i kidding? i dont have luck period.lol no not gay.just bi and lonely.
Just gotta have faith in yourself.
Alex,
From the few posts I've read of yours, you're really sweet.
You'll have no trouble finding a girl or a boy, just give it time.
I'm having the same problem. I'm attracted to both genders. I am waiting for my chance at love, I'm 18 going on 19 and haven't been in a relationship or even been kissed yet :( I am so worried that this girl I am crushing on will reject me. Either she is straight (I present myself as female at the moment), or she already has a boyfriend/girlfriend. I would be crushed if it doesn't work out. I am lost. I don't know what to do.
ill be your boyfreind!lol
thats sweet tho...i had my first kiss when i was 15 but it never would have happened if this one guy hadnt been obsessed with me.i hate being me sometimes.i wish people could see us for how beautiful we really are....i'm such a sap.
bahahaha, you are too cute :P
(this is US-centric, so if you aren't in the USA, ignore this...)
If you have top surgery, but don't change any paperwork, I think that you would not have any trouble anywhere in the US marrying a man. You could only marry a woman if the state allowed same-sex marriage.
If you change your driver's license AND have top surgery, but don't change your birth certificate, it's a bit more murky. it depends on the state - some will go by your chromosomes, some will go by your birth certificate, some MIGHT go by your surgical status (I say might because I don't know of any case that involved a guy with this set of circumstances). Most would probably accept your birth certificate (female) gender for the purpose of marriage though.
If you change your birth certificate, driver's license, AND have top surgery, it's still a mixed bag and depends upon the state. And of course things could change with just one judge changing his mind.
The problem right now is that there is no law that defines male or female. So it comes down to what judges in the area think makes someone male or female. There is no legal definition of male or female, thus there is no generic legally recognized sex - it's up to each government unit what they want to do. For instance, Social Security almost certainly has different rules than your state's DMV, and both have different rules than your state's department of vital records (for the birth certificate). As for marriage itself, different jurisdiction have decided what makes someone male or female differently. There's no consistent or "safe" definition right now, unfortunately.
What I'd say is to present the paperwork that matches what you want to do in a way that would be legal in the jurisdiction (in a state that prohibits same sex marriage, you'll need to be able to prove - both at time of marriage and at any point where the marriage is challenged down the road - that you were an opposite sex person at time of marriage). In some states, marriages have been declared invalid if your partner didn't know your history before you got married, so that's something to think about too.
We really need to get the government out of the sex determination business. There's no good black-and-white method of labeling people, and there are very few things where the sex of the person actually matters to government. That's the solution - fix the law! Don't require marriage to be "one man and one woman" when you can't define man or woman!
As for the wedding itself, I wore a suit to mine. It's slightly less formal than a tux, but more formal than anything without a coat and tie. What a man wears depends on where you are getting married and how formal it is, as well as what the couple wants. I'd encourage you to, when you find that right person, to do what fits your relationship - show your love and commitment, and your understanding of what a marriage is, in whatever way fits your relationship.
just give it time. and confidence helps, no matter whether you're chasing a man or woman. marriage laws vary by state, but whoh you are attracted to is who you are attracted to, if you get what i'm saying.