Ok guys, I'm curious as to how different your brains are working since starting HRT.
Psychological effects, emotional anything you can elighten me with.
What feels different about your thinking patterns?
Nothing mental for me..although, im only 19 days hrt. But however, i do feel easily annoyed, but idk. I was always sorta bipolar lol!
The closest I have is I'm checking girls out more frequently and openly. That's probably just because I feel like I'm allowed to now, though. XD
Other than that I see nothing. It's for the physical effects which will (hopefully) make you feel better about yourself and aid you in functioning.
psychological changes.
Removing testosersone and adding estrogen did the following to me in terms of my mind.
1: Lowered my sex drive significantly.
2: Significantly reduced my depression.
3: Temporarily (1week) caused a loss of concentration Then that vanished and I was fine.
4: Made me slightly less competitive.
So take that reverse it and that will be your experience... No I'm kidding everyones experience is slightly different.
Subsiquent changes have occured to me but those are NOT a result of hormones but are related to my experiences of transition.
I'm much more bitter, angry and hateful (Related to some of the cruelty I've experienced)
I'm more confident (Related to the loss of depression)
I'm more at ease in my body (Related to the loss of dysphoria)
Ever so slight realigment of my sexual orientation +30' inclination ontop of 40' out of 180' point scale (Dunno what that's about possibly just different oppertunities arising now or having a different perspective of sexual characteristics.)
I'm less envious of others, Due to greater ease in my body.
Honestly, I think I'm the same person today after 535 days of testosterone as I was before it, for the most part.
Obviously I've changed some, everything changes at all times, but I do not attribute these changes specifically to testosterone.
I still feel the same emotions, but the effect of the emotions is milder, more controllable.
I get just as sad as before when sad-causing-events come my way, but I don't sob uncontrollably.
In fact, I very rarely cry, which is wonderful, considering that just being "very tired" could be enough to make me retreat to bed where I'd curl up and cry for a while without any chance of controlling it at all.
I am also calmer, generally happier, MUCH more content and comfortable in my own skin, but I don't think that's because "T" makes me experience this per say, more accurately I think that the physical changes caused by T have made my skin fit "me" better and therefore I'm calmer, happier, more content, comfortable, etc...
I can't cry anymore. It's damn near physically impossible. I see this as a big drawback. I think I have a longer and harder time coming to terms with things and moving on for this reason.
Quote from: Forum Admin on June 05, 2011, 10:59:29 AM
I can't cry anymore. It's damn near physically impossible. I see this as a big drawback. I think I have a longer and harder time coming to terms with things and moving on for this reason.
I see it exactly the opposite way.
Without the uncontrollable crying I have an easier time distancing myself from the problem and calmly examining it and seeing what I need to do to fix it and whether or not it can be fixed, which in turn makes it much easier to come to terms and move on, for me.
Quote from: Miniar on June 05, 2011, 01:04:14 PM
I see it exactly the opposite way.
Without the uncontrollable crying I have an easier time distancing myself from the problem and calmly examining it and seeing what I need to do to fix it and whether or not it can be fixed, which in turn makes it much easier to come to terms and move on, for me.
Hmm. Maybe I'll try approaching it from that angle. As an asset rather than a handicap. It would seem I have no other choice but to accept it. Or learn how to cry again. As it stands, I have to get extremely drunk to squeeze out a tear and that only works a fraction of the time.
It's interesting to read the differences.
At first, I couldn't cry. I now have been able to cry a few times, not as hard or as much.
I love the changes testosterone has made. I am recently surrounded by a few drama creaters and after dealing with them for a few months I realized that I "survived". It was like.. "so this is what it feels like to be a man?". These girls were basically using me as a punching bag, telling me I was insensitive and uncaring. At first, it hurt that I was repeatedly called these things (we were not dating, haha), but then I was able to think about it logistically. What they were getting pissed at is my not reacting to the drama.
It feels awesome to be able to see problems and say, "ok, what can we do to solve this?" instead of "OMG!". My anxiety has gone through the roof though, it's weird, I am more comfortable with myself, but more anxious around talking and interacting with people.
Quote from: LorenAndrew on June 13, 2011, 08:53:13 AM
My anxiety has gone through the roof though, it's weird, I am more comfortable with myself, but more anxious around talking and interacting with people.
I experienced this. I think for me the sudden difference in the way people looked at me and spoke to me is what did it. I liked it; it was a good change. But it made me self-conscious. People all of a sudden have these poker faces.
Also, I felt like people were looking at me for the first time. I could no longer hide behind this mask. I felt naked.
Biggest psychological change for me is the sense of freedom. Am amazed at how much of myself I had given up,
trying to "tone it down" and blend in. I don't have to do that anymore, and it rocks!
I don't cry anymore, either. Totally happy about that. I hated how easy it was to cry before. Felt like a sissy. It also seemed to help set me up for bullying when I was young...meaning physical violence.
Get frustrated just as easy, but am quicker to work through stuff. Some of that is from wanting to be a good man, but before T I could not allow myself to think of me as a man. Male/boy yes, man no.
I relate to what other guys have said about anxiety. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life, but am self conscious around other people. It's not new per se, just a different discomfort...like it's so unbelievable to get to be me and be seen as a guy by others, I'm waiting for them to change their minds or slip up and say she or something.
Quote from: Rabbit on June 15, 2011, 11:31:27 AM
With male hormones, I couldn't cry either... nothing could phase me and I could approach ANYTHING in a logical rational and calm way. It was great for dealing with sittuations and problems, but was so boring. After HRT (mtf) I found I am a bit more sensitive (but still have that huge rational side, so even if I am crying I am thinking "this is interesting, the hormones seem to be having fun today").
Also, with male hormones, I had a VERY hard time letting things go. I had to have the last word and say what I needed to say. And even when I did, I would still dwell on it for hours going over it in my mind and making arguments. After HRT I found a LOT of that has gone away also (so I can read a comment I don't agree with and just shrug it off pretty easily).
Basically I am still the same person, just a little shift in a few things.
That's interesting, because I know people who are totally the opposite and have no inability to cry whatsoever, who are emotionally sensitive and expressive, and a lot of other traits that could be attributed to the effects of taking female HRT, even when that isn't the case and T is still prevalent. Myself, for example.
I wouldn't go so far as to say hormones make you act a certain way. They may be a contributor, no doubt, and it could just be that taking the steps related to transition is a catalyst in itself, and perhaps subconsciously you begin to express what you feel you've had to hide away. Maybe the psychological effects of
taking T are more telling than the T itself.
Just a thought. Very interesting thread.
As a boy and a man I was usually too stuborn to cry. Pain or anger would just make me definant, but show me a sad spot in a movie or go to a funeral, I would blubber (and I Hated it, crying always made me feel weak).
The ability to cry was always there, just now as a woman I'm not as embarressed about it.
Having been on T for about 45 years I'll tell you things I did but probably wouldn't do today:
Take a stock Honda 175 and use it to make ramp jumps.
Race other guys up a 2000' high mountain.
Drink three bottles of wine then jump from boulder to boulder over a rushing rapid. (almost didn't make that one)
Absolutely HAVE to find a decent mogul to jump every time I downhill ski.
Believing if someone hits you then they will get hit back, no matter how big they are.
Engaging in arm wrestling with guys who have Popeye forearms and outweigh me by 50+ pounds.
Getting pissed about something women would never even give a thought to.
Needing to win all the time.
Refusing to ask for help.
Feeling I NEED to push the pedal to the metal.
Actually liking hearing an engine rev up and smiling to the other guys around when I do.
Seeing a woman and getting all funny inside. (there's a whole bunch of stuff wrapped in the word "funny" there)
just wondering if t or the lack of it would make you giggle more or less.. any experiences with this?
I was called aggressive, excessively emotional, unable to control my emotions, all pre-T. My ex's take on my proposed transition was that I would become even more "uncontrollable" due to T, one of her arguments as to why I shouldn't transition. For many years, many arguments as to why I had to, and why I couldn't according to her. One of my childhood friends said to me, which I didn't take on very well, that she always thought me to be feminine because I was always ruled by my emotions. Post-T: from day one I noticed that I simply have no anxiety any more. Just gone. No anger. No fidgety irritability. I've noticed that I've simply calmed down. I've had a really stressful interview twice, and I was just so very calm. Period. Of course, it's still the early days, but I can honestly say that T is responsible for the overwhelming calm and peace I feel.