Hey guys,
so i came out as trans a year ago while in a relationship and have since ended it. since the end, there have been people interested in me and people i have been interested in. however, it wasn't until the introduction of a new friend that one person fit both critieria. her name is maiya and she is a sophomore at my school (college). i'm gonna be a senior this year, but because of my year skipping, i am only a few months her senior.
anyway, we hung out pretty consistently for the last two weeks of school. she knew that i was interested almost immediately, as i have a problem with subtlety around girls i'm interested in. initially, i just kind of was like hey, if it's awkward, let me know, but i don't want to lose you as a friend, cuz you're mad cool.
the real point: i know now the feelings are pretty mutual but she's gone for the next three months and will probably only make it over to visit once. i'm having problems figuring out how emotionally involved to get, i know that she's just a super friendly and nice person and i'm a little worried i'm being lead on.
any advice? i've never had a girl i like like me back, so this is just super new territory and any advice is appreciated :)
cale
Try it slow with her and see what happens.
If you are worried about the distance let me tell you that it can work. My gf is in college and working about 7 hours away from me and we have made it work for almost 2 years now. Our relationship started with a short friendship that quickly evolved into "hey you like me I like you let's see what happens!". Once we stopped thinking about the logistics of having a relationship and just had one things moved pretty quickly.
Don't worry about how emotionally involved you should get right now. Talk, text, video chat and visit when you can. Even if you develop a close friendship not a relationship you still took the chance. If you are concerned about her leading you on, you can find out more easily in a long distance situation. If she puts in as much effort to talk to/see you as you do the feelings are probably mutual. If you have to put in all the work she probably isn't totally interested. Good luck to you!
Quote from: EthanD on May 26, 2011, 12:10:45 PM
If you are worried about the distance let me tell you that it can work. My gf is in college and working about 7 hours away from me and we have made it work for almost 2 years now. Our relationship started with a short friendship that quickly evolved into "hey you like me I like you let's see what happens!". Once we stopped thinking about the logistics of having a relationship and just had one things moved pretty quickly.
Don't worry about how emotionally involved you should get right now. Talk, text, video chat and visit when you can. Even if you develop a close friendship not a relationship you still took the chance. If you are concerned about her leading you on, you can find out more easily in a long distance situation. If she puts in as much effort to talk to/see you as you do the feelings are probably mutual. If you have to put in all the work she probably isn't totally interested. Good luck to you!
thanks! that helped quite a bit. she has put effort into keeping touch as well and maybe that means it isn't all in my head lol. i like the idea of stopping talking about logistics and just being happy together :)
I've just recently started a new relationship, and was kind of in the same place as you. I just laid everything out on the table, said, "These are my issues, this is my deal." and we went from there. I'll be leaving for England in October, so it seems like a really stupid time to start a relationship, but if it gets that far, we'll work it out. Hope things go well with the girl. And if she likes you back, that's a huge step in the right direction. ;)