Comes now the last major step - to get on the airplane.
The phrase at the head or title area at the top of Susan's covers it so well:
We stand at the crossroads of gender balanced on the sharp edge of a knife.
Early Monday morning I board an airplane for Philadelphia (I haven't flown since 1972 and didn't like it then, but that's another story, and at this point, a minor hurdle). Tuesday morning, I figuratively - more-or-less - fling out my feet and fall directly, and I certainly hope precisely, onto that knife.
As I don't have a laptop, and my phone barely has e-mail, getting on Susan's is a tech issue (not to mention grogginess), and I did want not to set the stage for my surgery here then disappear for a couple of weeks, I asked Janet if she would add updates to this posting if I sent them to her. She has agreed, so that's what we will do. Isn't she such a lady, and one who's time has to be coming soon! I would be honored to return the favor.
Feel free to add comments to this - I'd like something to read when I return, hopefully on June 13.
And I might get a chance to add one or two comments before I go, but I'm mostly a responder, not a journal writer. I wish I was, but then, for 65 years I've wished to have been born with a body that matches my spirit. All that time I did not believe this could be done, at least by me. Then I was not sure I could get through it all the way. I'm not a bumper sticker type person, but one I saw years ago says it all: "Begin. Success Will Follow". Now I have followed, and there it is; success! I will be me after all! I am blessed!
We all have different situations. But if you do not begin, success will not follow!
Susan Kay
- heading to soul birth. ;D
Susan, I am more than happy to do it. And don't worry I won't post any gibberish that you may send. ;D
And soon your name shall go in my list.
Best wishes, Susan! Looking forward to hearing from you again. I hope Janet posts everything, nothing better than a drugged up woman rambling away! Hugs, Tracey
Quote from: Janet Lynn on May 28, 2011, 11:42:06 AM
Susan, I am more than happy to do it. And don't worry I won't post any gibberish that you may send. ;D
Ahh, come on now; if you cut out the gibberish, you're killing half my work! :D
Tracy, thank you. Drugs; I wonder how long I can drag that out! >:-)
Susan Kay
Quote from: Susan Kay on May 28, 2011, 05:30:53 PM
Ahh, come on now; if you cut out the gibberish, you're killing half my work! :D
Tracy, thank you. Drugs; I wonder how long I can drag that out! >:-)
Susan Kay
Well I will at lease interpret it back to English. ;) ;D
Hi Susan
I wish you all the best for your surgery and of course my thoughts will be with you. Look after yourself and I'm sure you will finally be at peace with yourself.
Warmest regards
Sarah B
Quote from: Susan Kay received 1:45 AMJust a short message; we are leaving for the airport in a few minutes. I will send you a message when we have arrived at the clinic - perhaps 3-4 o'clock Philadelphia time. By the way, we meaning my therapist and I. My wife's health prevented her from making the trip, and my therapist said he did not want me to go alone. This is a long, very challenging journey at best; a very good therapist helps you navigate it. A great therapist goes the last mile. Again, I am blessed.
WOW. Imagine waking up and being able to talk to your therapist about it. That is one dedicated therapist.
Good luck Hon. Oh and .... S U S A N K A Y. Now you are official.
Well our girl has made it to Philly and is settling in.
QuoteI've arrived in Philadelphia and am settled in at the clinic. I have met Dr Leis briefly and will have a longer session with him later tonight. I imagine part of it will be the "are you sure, maybe I can talk you out of it" talk. Fat chance of that working! Surgery is set for first thing Tuesday, so I will send you an update, lucid or otherwise tomorrow evening or Wednesday. I met another girl, 7 days post, and we've had a nice talk already.
About my therapist: He is special. I would not be anywhere this far, maybe anywhere at all without him. He has several TG clients but no one to have surgery - Yet!
Tuesday is just a a couple away. Keep on keeping on, Girlfriend.
So, Susan, you're in Philly?
You're probably going to sneak out Thursday to go to the big Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference (http://www.trans-health.org/)?
Well, I don't know the protocol there, but you are probably doing stuff now in preparation for tomorrow.
Good luck!
Yay Susan!
Please keep us all posted the best you can, you've done it! You've reached the point we all aspire to get to.
Best of luck on Tuesday!
Congratulations, Susan!! You're in the hands of a skilled and caring surgeon. I'm certain your recovery and recuperation will be a wonderful experience.
Congratulations Susan!
May you heal fast and well. You are in very good hands!
Welcome to your new life!
-Sandy
Hi Susan, Congratulations and all the best for a speedy recovery! Kim
Our girl is done. ;D
Quote from: Susan Kay 06/01/2011 2:56 AM reportShe lives! Sort of at least, at 6 am Wed. Surgery at 8 am Tue, totally out of it until maybe 7 pm real spacey most of the night. IT IS DONE - the boy has been retired with honors; the girl lives with joy (and pain!)
Well Done. Sis.
Yay! Hopefully she makes a speech before the drugs wear off! Proud of you, Susan, hurry back! Hugs, Tracey
Isn't it ironic, that the things we were running from, surgeries, pain, discomfort, when suddenly doing it in the spirit of being one self, we run for it, even when it is the Sharp end of a knife :)
Wishing you the bestest recovery gurl, Love, Inna.
This just in .....
QuoteThe worst part is the failure to complete electrolylsis first, so I shaved Monday night, and I now have a real lady-like growth. I'm a real beauty, and I smell like it too! The really bad thing is the loss of fine motor skills - it's taken me 10 min to type this!
It's a mess, but we were cleaning me up last night and I got to look - I HAVE A VAGINA! It is now worth every single Theraphy, every single hormone pill, every single strange look, every single setback. For the first in 65 years I am ME! A groggy, dopey me, but definitely me!
She is now complete. ;D
I think they need to cut back on her Oxy just a bit.
Quote from: Susan Kay Fri, Jun 3, 2011 at 2:29 PMas she is shocked to realise she had surgery and now it 's just Fri. It seems a month has passed.
Yeah just a bit. ;D
Cut back on the Oxy? This is the doped up girl I want to see! She'll be fine in a few days, then they can lower the dose. Until then, let's enjoy the show! Hurry back Susan, I miss you! Hugs, Tracey
She is so going to kill me. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Susan Kay Fri, Jun 3, 2011 at 7:37 PMGreatings from flat-on-my-back PA. Day 4 has gotten me out of the hospital and back into the clinic. It went ok except I threw up. My lady-like demeaner just keeps breaking out! Luckily the driver had been here before, with a blanket over the seat. Unluckily, I couldn't hit a kitchen trash bag in front of my face! The car survived unfased but skirt and blouse did not!
Other then that no problems. I see the surgeon Sat at 1:00 and should get a time line. In case you wonder - would I go through this again? Yes! A 100 times if I had to! I've smiling a lot since Tue because I don't have to! I've also learned: Don't depend on a cell phone for e-mail!
Talk with you later.
Susan
Our girl is making it through.
Janet, you're a saint! This is no time for editing. I'm going to get some more popcorn, be right back! Susan, you're doing great!
Congratulations and wishing you a speedy recovery.
You are another for Janet's, "List of girls without
the things they will not miss!"
To Paraphrase G&S's Mikado!
Cheers, Karen.
Any word from our girl?
Nothing since the third.
Quote from: Susan Kay Sun, Jun 5, 2011 at 7:32 PMI'm really being fumble-fingers with this phone so I'll be very short. I'm OK but pretty nausious today. The drains came out Sat, the cath and hold-open plug Tue/Wed, then I'll start feeling alive, not just female. Thanks to everybody for caring, and I wish I had a laptop so I could do a better job of updating. Size 10 fingers - size 5 keyboard!
Love to everybody.
Susan
Sent with Verizon Mobile Email
AH HA she is alive. ;D
Still sick though, maybe we should start a replacement clothing drive for our little "Vomit Comet?" Just kidding, Susan! I'm in so much trouble when you get back!
Hey Susan, I hope you're feeling better today! Looking forward to an update from you. Hugs, Tracey
QuoteI got the catheter and the packing removed. Tue was a good day overall, and those 2 steps helped. However, overnight it became clear something wasn't right, in particular, I couldn't pee! I called the doctor this morning and he came over and put in a new cath. I didn't think I would be happy to see another one of those - but I certainly was! May all the setbacks be small ones.
Susan
Oh My, not good Hon. I hope you can pee on your own soon.
Hi Susan, just a minor detour, you'll be back on the right path soon! Hugs, Tracey
Our girl is doing well. ;D
Quote from: Susan Fri, Jun 10, 2011 at 7:19 AMHi Janet. I'm still here and am doing well; the second cath is still in but we wanted to give it a couple of days for the swelling to go down before trying again. 2 pints of pee in a pint-and-a-half bladder is no fun, believe you me!
Doctor Leis did an office exam Thur & said every thing is healing fine; I'll take his word for it - I have never seen so much gook in my life! I know now why GGs gripe about their periods so much! lol! It's a tough job, but I'm just the woman to handle it.
Dr Leis provides a makeover artist, who gave me a manicure, facial, eyebrow shaping, and brow and hair coloring to match my wig. That was a Surprise and a lovely and pleasant time - a real spirit lifter. Also, I started dilation Wed. He whipped out a set of them, withdrew one, and announces "We'll start with the small one." Yeah, the "small one!" I've been afraid to look in the bag for the big one! By-the-way - there's been no pain - at least with the "small one."
I'm still on track to leave Mon, but I'm sure it will be Sun before that decision. Hopefully this post has not been too graphic. I'm actually not doing too bad typing on my phone, but I'm afraid I'm going to need the doctor to operate on carpal tunnel of the thumbs!
Until next time.
Susan
Hi Susan, glad to hear from you! It sounds like things are going well. That was a nice suprise that the Doctor arranged for you! Take care, hugs, Tracey
Quote from: Susan Kay Fri, Jun 10, 2011 at 10:27 PMSome thoughts as I lay here: I was thinking of the pizza I splurged on for dinner; some snippets from tonight's Letterman; what I am wearing for tomorrow's (hopefully) de-cathing; how it was nearly as hot here in Philly Thursday as Kansas, before an early evening time shower cooled it down so nicely and so lovely to listen to; and many other random, general night thoughts. What I wasn't fixated on were thoughts of scheduling, finances, letters, how would surgery go, the risks, the lost relationships, the hundreds of details of transition.
ALL of that is settled. I do not have to think of transition. I did think of one thing: Of the - what, 100,000 or so, maybe .003 percent of the U.S. population, I am part of that small group that can say, "I Have Had A Sex Change Operation! I fixed it!" I can truly say I win!
I am totally in awe! But then again, maybe it's the pizza.
Susan
Definitely the pizza. ;D
Pizza, food of the gods!
Quote from: Susan Kay Sun, Jun 12, 2011 at 5:27 PMTinkle - tinkle - tinkle!
I will be flying home tomorrow, and see if I have a few more words tomorrow night or Tuesday, depending on how wore out I am, and whether I want to sit anymore after flying. My sitter Is on light duty right now.
Susan
Yay she has peed. LOL
Watch, you'll have to pee 14 times......while you're on the plane!
Our girl is home safe and sound.
Quote from: Susan Kay On Mon, Jun 13, 2011 at 6:47 PMYou know you have had a successful trip when (1) the airline did not kill you, (2) they did not lose your luggage, and (3) you came home with a sex change! I am so exhausted; will will be back on line probably Tuesday but it's rest for this tired but extremely happy girl. Many thanks to her translator Janet (in spite of the potty line!)
Susan
As I was saying before I so rudely interupted my self ... uh, just what was I saying anyway? I don't even remember saying those things the first 3-4 days after surgery - man they use good drugs. I searched the halls for an hour looking for the pharm for a take-home supply, but no luck. lol, sort of.
I thank every one of you for posting here and so obviously caring. And special thanks to the ever wonderful Janet for translating. It's Wednesday afternoon (I think), and I'm still very tired, and my sitter is still not sitting very good yet. BUT - BUT - BUT, as mentioned by others above, I am at peace, finally, after 65 years. Not perfect, but I am fully me. That's what I have been looking for, what I went to Philadelphia to find, and what I brought back with me. Job done. A girl could not ask for anything more. Now, how about you? Are you doing all you can toward whatever goal you have? DO NOT PUT IT OFF FOR 65 YEARS. Where ever you are going, please get there. This means you!
Susan Kay
<Standing and applauding wildy> You're the best, Susan, you're my hero! Hugs, Tracey!
SHe has returned. My job here is done. *Dusts off her hand
Welcome home, Susan.
Just a quick point: I think I will keep this thread open through June to cover at least the majority of recovery. Currently I'm spending a lot of time in bed as that is much easier on the works then sitting on them. Well, it; them are no longer in the way. One thing though, nothing ever hurt better!
Susan Kay
One of the many excuses I use to tell myself why I can't ever transition is my age...Thanks a lot now you've totally ruined that excuse. No, I really mean thank you for inspiring me.
Congratulations, it's an awesome accomplishment.
!7 days since surgery and 4 days since returning home - still weak, not much pain but very tender, sleeping a lot (a side benefit), actually have not ventured out yet, probably Monday for group, and I apparently wore my phone out while laid up - I'm awaiting the replacement. When I returned I was was gifted with a beautiful outfit: red peasant skirt and white with beading blouse! Ole! I can't wait to wear it out - probably to shop for shoes!
For months, that light in the tunnel was the train of the future. But sometimes it didn't seem to move from week to week, and other times it was roaring toward me. Now that it stopped and picked me up, the magic town of surgery is flying into the past.
By the way, Tracey, "Vomit Comet?" After all! Don't think I was so drugged that slipped past me! You have a payback coming! >:-) But thank you for the many words of support - I forgive you! 8)
Susan Kay
Nice to have you back, Susan! I'm glad you're in good spirits (so I don't get my ass kicked)! You did say you wanted something to read when you got back! I'm proud of you, though, seriously. And I'm rarely serious! Hugs, Tracey
Tracey: All is forgiven hon. I DID ask for it, and one cannot life by the mouth and whine (too much) when the favor is returned. I do appreciate all the comments - ALL the comments.
JulieC: Actually, I'm glad if I took that particular excuse/copout of age away from you. If I can do it, so can you. If you have a full transition plan now, start working it; if not, begin one. I will be happy to heckle, uh, spur you on like others have done me.
SarahElls: The only thing you have to do is continue progress and go over, under, around or through all obstacles.
Janet Lynn: Uh, I hate to be the one to break it to you but your job is never done. There are going to be new girls next week, next month, next year, and forever. And there needs to be one more.
Susan Kay
I'm now 3 weeks post surgery and 1 week home. I feel much better. I'm still tender and sore and can't sit much without discomfort. I seem to be healing OK; the swelling is going down and drainage seems diminished somewhat :o (sorry for the yuck factor). Dilation is progressing allright. I went out Monday for the first time, to my regular noon support group. I got cake and ice cream. Then I went over and finished activating my replacement phone and to Walgreen's for more supplies. It was nice to get out and about.
Speaking of dilation (I was - not you) when I flew back home I packed the set of five in their mesh bag. The four I had not used were facing one way, the one I had used facing the other for ease in finding the right one. When I got home and unpacked, they were all facing the same direction. Obviously TSA had checked them out. I don't blame them, on X-ray they probably looked amazingly suspicious. They look a bit suspicious just lying there! But I could visualize some rookie baggage frisker holding one up and going "What the $%^& is this?" And when someone told him/her, repacking them in a hurry!
Anyway, 3 weeks into the future. I have been trying to think of one thing in my life I have done of more importance or help to me; I can't.
Susan Kay
It's wonderful to hear how well you are doing. After my one turndown for my surgery a few months ago, you were very kind to let me have a bit of direction toward Dr. Leis. Since I found out that Dr. Leis is going to be at Southern Comfort Conference this year, I am going to try and meet him there and see if I can get on the track of that train you have mentioned a couple of posts ago. So glad to hear of your experience, even with the nosy baggage inspector. Sort of like the old "Thief's Knot" that sailors used to tie up their personal possessions on board the old sailing vessels so they would know if someone was getting into their stuff. The times I have had my baggage inspected out here in CA, the TSA has put a WE WERE HERE message in my bag. One time I did have a pair of breast forms in the bag they hit!! Served them right!! (I no longer need to take the breast forms any more though!!) ;D :angel:
I'm glad I gave out some advice that helped. Good luck; I'm sure Dr. Leis will be very helpful; I know you will find him a kind person, and very open and informative, particularly for a doctor. I'm sure if you contact him before hand, he will be glad to meet with you. Be sure to tell him Susan is dong fine. If you haven't seen it, check out his web site: http://thetransgendercenter.com/. (http://thetransgendercenter.com/.)
Susan Kay