Between student loans and living costs, I can't afford my own place, so next week at the end of the quarter I'm moving back in with my parents. They are very religious, and my dad is a pastor in the REC. They are open about their homophobia and transphobia, personally and in official church functions. I came out to them as a lesbian in the fall when I moved out (which didn't go great, but not horribly), but I've come to terms with my trans identity since then. I've started going by male pronouns and my male name since then with my SO and several others, but I am not out to my parents. I wish I could avoid telling them for just a little longer, but I don't want to spend another summer without binding, packing and having my male identity respected. I don't know what advice could make it easier, I'm just scared as hell. I don't think they would kick me out, and I could couch surf if I needed to, but even breeching the topic with them scares me. I don't want to live in a hostile environment where my identity will be invalidated every day when I've just come to a place of accepting myself.
On top of that, I've more or less lost my steady job in my hometown due to homophobia and transphobia. They didn't fire me, and I could survive there if I had to, but they lowered my pay to minimum over my winter break for reasons undefined (I had jut come out), and even when I was only out as lesbian I was harassed by the executives and my coworkers (it's a small business with all Christian owners/managers). I have to come out to my parents and my friends back home (many homo/transphobic), find a new gender therapist, and go job searching as a pre-T transman.
Does anyone have any encouragement about coming out to parents? Survival advice?Or tips about pre-transition job searching? Hell, I'll take commiseration.
I very well may delay coming out to them, it's not bad advice. I guess it depends on how I can socially work it out that they don't find out from someone else. I delayed coming out to them as lesbian, and some random person I don't know told them...people in my parent's circle seem to feel the obligation to make my business known to my dad since he's a pastor. But I could probably work it out if I'm selective about who I tell, at least for a while, and if I don't bind around them. Thanks for the reply
Oh, and happy job hunting :)