So I've been on this site called DailyBurn for about a week now, which I found after doing a search for something similar to what one of my facebook friends has been doing from her phone... Although I don't own a fancy phone that can use special apps or post things to the internet. But I noticed one of my friends has a work out app that posts her exercises to facebook and I wanted something similar to "brag" for me and help motivate me to continue fitting in some exercise every day. But it's a good thing DailyBurn doesn't update to facebook, because they INSIST you select male or female as your gender. Everything else can be left blank, but oh no, we have to know for a fact what's between your legs or what isn't! Grrr! And since I'm not 100% out yet... I don't know. I changed it to male anyway. My feed from previous days still has the female pronouns in it. Somehow I got a slight chuckle from thinking, "Let people be confused! Hah!"
I would imagine that the height/weight tables are different for male bodies than for female bodies.
Yeah, it's different when calculating calorie expenditure, but it still sucks to have to put down female. :-\
I really just want to be a regular guy though, and go through life without the negative he-she comments, any question, anyone insisting that I need to present as female, and even without having to inform everyone I meet that I wasn't born a guy. :-\
And I want to be a mechanic though, I really do, because it pays above minimum wage and it's not a job where you have to be completely social and chatty. (I'm very much a quiet person IRL.) But I feel a little discouraged on that, not only because there aren't any real schools where I live to train as a mechanic, but I'm terribly not good with my hands at all. I'm sort of hoping that will improve with weight loss. Like maybe I'll be able to be steadier, concentrate better, and not fumble around because I'm paranoid that people are watching the fatty attempting hard labor and laughing at my awkwardness.
I was horribly uncoordinated all around as a kid, and the ability to walk without falling finally set in at about 14, and at maybe around age 26, I've been able to move my fingers independently much better, but still not fast enough to play guitar, but I have hope that my coordination will continue to develop. (And yes that means I once wasn't able to flip someone off.) :embarrassed:
But yeah, I want to be just another guy out there.
Quote from: tekla on June 06, 2011, 08:24:12 PM
I would imagine that the height/weight tables are different for male bodies than for female bodies.
Yeah, a 5'5" man is supposed to be like 125 lbs, and a woman 100 lbs. ::)
That's a bummer about the app. Wish it at least would keep it off the feed :/
Hey sascraps, you might benefit from being more fat positive :) Big is beautiful, and fat phobic people can go to hell. I can relate to wanting to lose weight when for personal comfort and preference, but make sure you don't let society dictate how you view your body, and it's for you. This might be random, but my partner is a self-identified big girl, and she's sexy as hell. When society deems someone as "not attractive," it's an appropriation of diverse attractions and simply hateful and not true.
Also, I don't know if you'd be interested, but if you aren't out on facebook as male and would prefer "they" rather than female pronouns in the news feed, here's a video on how to change it. I did it and it worked, though it probably wouldn't apply to this app.
http://queerkidjess.tumblr.com/post/6061726188/if-anyone-is-looking-for-how-to-change-your-pronouns-to (http://queerkidjess.tumblr.com/post/6061726188/if-anyone-is-looking-for-how-to-change-your-pronouns-to)
Hey Mikah, thanks for bringing up that video. I know pronouns on facebook comes up fairly often here. If you don't mind, I'm going to post this video as a new topic.
Yeah, a new thread would be good, I bet it'd be helpful fr a fair amount of people. If you could link to the tumblr page, rather than the video directly, it might be good for those who use tumblr and would like to reblog.
Can do
Quote from: Casey Leon on June 06, 2011, 09:07:36 PM
Female bodies, by virtue of naturally having less muscle, burn less calories than a male body. So if you input male, they'll tell you to eat more calories, which could stunt your weight loss quite significantly, and also it would overestimate your exercise needs, telling you that you burned more than you actually did.
For example, I'm female-bodied, not on T, so this is how it would affect someone of my size:
Female: 5'4", age 22, 180 lbs, sedentary lifestyle: I burn 1870 a day just by living.
Male: 5'4", age 22, 180 lbs, sedentary lifestyle: i burn 2070 a day just by living.
So there's about half a pound a week difference right there. Just basic; that doesn't include exercise differences either. I'd type that in too but my pet is on the keyboard trying to eat my fingers. :P
Wow really? Where did you find that out? You can burn 1870 calories a day doing nothing? I thought you had to work out all day long in order to "burn more calories than you consume", because sitting on your butt not working out doesn't burn a single calorie???
That is the basal metabolic rate or the number of calories your body spends in a day just keeping itself running. When you exercise your body requires more calories than this number.
Quote from: Mikah on June 06, 2011, 09:11:55 PM
That's a bummer about the app. Wish it at least would keep it off the feed :/
Hey sascraps, you might benefit from being more fat positive :) Big is beautiful, and fat phobic people can go to hell. I can relate to wanting to lose weight when for personal comfort and preference, but make sure you don't let society dictate how you view your body, and it's for you. This might be random, but my partner is a self-identified big girl, and she's sexy as hell. When society deems someone as "not attractive," it's an appropriation of diverse attractions and simply hateful and not true.
Also, I don't know if you'd be interested, but if you aren't out on facebook as male and would prefer "they" rather than female pronouns in the news feed, here's a video on how to change it. I did it and it worked, though it probably wouldn't apply to this app.
http://queerkidjess.tumblr.com/post/6061726188/if-anyone-is-looking-for-how-to-change-your-pronouns-to (http://queerkidjess.tumblr.com/post/6061726188/if-anyone-is-looking-for-how-to-change-your-pronouns-to)
I am fat-positive! I've actually always been attracted to big men. But if I seem like I'm against being fat, I'm really not. It's just that in this area, around WV/PA/MD/OH (as a lot of fat women here will try crossing state borders in hopes of employment), well they just do not hire overweight women around here. I've never had a job because of it, and I have a computer degree. If I could have gone for a job with a male name, I might have gotten something. But they only hire the minimum amount of women & minorities that they need to by law - 1 person per 15 employees. So that 1 woman has to be a bombshell to get a job around here. And I want nothing more than to get the money to get out of here, so I have to get down to a size that might be accepted by an employer. I think it will help loads if/when I can get the money to legally change my name. I could get away with being a big boy but to be known as female, no, they won't hire a chunky girl.
So it's just as much a practicality of getting the hell out of WV as it is for myself, because I do want to be tougher and to not be seen as a wuss and a pushover, and to not feel that way either because I do feel slowed down about 10% because of my size (even though people think I must be 100% immobile due to my size).
Quote from: Lee on June 06, 2011, 09:46:59 PM
That is the basal metabolic rate or the number of calories your body spends in a day just keeping itself running. When you exercise your body requires more calories than this number.
Ok, really, no one's ever told me that. I found a calculator online. So I burn 2362.7 calories a day just existing? That would explain why I'm not 500 lbs, the way I used to eat. lol I've dropped from an average of 2500 calories a day (and that was on a dieting-but-liberal diet) down to averaging 1600 calories a day. I've lost 8 lbs in the past 18 days. Is that too fast, too slow, or just right?
Quote from: sascraps on June 06, 2011, 09:52:00 PM
I am fat-positive! I've actually always been attracted to big men. But if I seem like I'm against being fat, I'm really not. It's just that in this area, around WV/PA/MD/OH (as a lot of fat women here will try crossing state borders in hopes of employment), well they just do not hire overweight women around here. I've never had a job because of it, and I have a computer degree. If I could have gone for a job with a male name, I might have gotten something. But they only hire the minimum amount of women & minorities that they need to by law - 1 person per 15 employees. So that 1 woman has to be a bombshell to get a job around here. And I want nothing more than to get the money to get out of here, so I have to get down to a size that might be accepted by an employer. I think it will help loads if/when I can get the money to legally change my name. I could get away with being a big boy but to be known as female, no, they won't hire a chunky girl.
So it's just as much a practicality of getting the hell out of WV as it is for myself, because I do want to be tougher and to not be seen as a wuss and a pushover, and to not feel that way either because I do feel slowed down about 10% because of my size (even though people think I must be 100% immobile due to my size).
Good to hear :) I must have gotten the wrong impression from comments of yours I've seen around, thought I'd say something in case it was relevant. Sounds like a really crappy situation where you are :-\ I hope you can get out as soon as possible.
Thanks! But yeah, I always have tried to stand up for fat acceptance, both for women and men. But yeah, there is a lot of discrimination out there, and women are especially judged on looks alone much of the time. And still, even though I'm trying to lose 100+ lbs, I don't aspire to be tiny and I will never understand the world's obsession with tininess. I think of bigness as manliness, strength, and capability. Extremely thin people seem so frail. I rather like my physical strength and wouldn't mind at all being 200-250 lbs. In fact, 200 is my lean weight, because yes, I am that massively muscular. If you could peel the fat off me, I'd be so buff I wouldn't need the gym. 8) Though I have been told that I could get down to 180, accounting for muscle loss that I might lose if I did lose 100+ lbs of fat and my body no longer required such power to heave itself around. lmao
Quote from: Mikah on June 06, 2011, 09:11:55 PM
Hey sascraps, you might benefit from being more fat positive :) Big is beautiful, and fat phobic people can go to hell. I can relate to wanting to lose weight when for personal comfort and preference, but make sure you don't let society dictate how you view your body, and it's for you. This might be random, but my partner is a self-identified big girl, and she's sexy as hell. When society deems someone as "not attractive," it's an appropriation of diverse attractions and simply hateful and not true.
It's not that I don't understand and appreciate the sentiment, because I don't think it's society's right to decide what is or isn't attractive, and I personally think some bigger people are really hot. But being overweight can have serious health repercussions. If your BMI is above an ideal range, it
is a good idea to try to lose weight. Just like it's a good idea to try to gain weight if it's below a healthy range. And no amount of positive self image can change that fact.
That being said, I'm from the PA/WV border area and notice the average weight in the general population is fairly well reflected in employees, and in WV I think the obesity rate is well above the national average, so I'm kind of surprised that OP is running into any more problems than he might elsewhere in the country. Although I think at the level of morbid obesity employment anywhere might have some prejudices to deal with, and I don't know where you fall. Are there any studies that have been done on employment discrimination in the area as opposed to nationally?
To fat is purely a health issue. I am on the thin side but because I chose the wrong parents I have high cholesterol and have to watch what I eat, rather than how much.
If you workout and lose fat, maybe wearing a T-shirt or similar to job interviews so they can see you are muscular would help. Especially for a manual job like a mechanic. Despite all the electronics in modern vehicles they still have to lift things.
Good Luck, Karen.
PS you can send any unwanted boob my way! :laugh:
The trouble with being overweight is not the strength issue as much as its the stamina issue.
Potential employers, aside from issues like 'public image', see obesity as a money losing item under insurance for reasons of diabetes, hypertension and heart problems.
Then there is this stuff:
June 29, 2010 -- Adult obesity rates increased in 28 states in the past year, with the No. 1 ranking going to Mississippi, where 33.8% of adults are obese, according to a new report, "F as in Fat: How Obesity Threatens America's Future 2010."
Other major findings in the report:
38 states have adult obesity rates above 25%. (No state had an obesity rate above 20% in 1991.)
10 of the 11 states with the highest rates of obesity are in the South.
The number of states where obesity rates exceed 30% has doubled in the past year, from four to eight -- Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and West Virginia.
19.1% of people in Colorado are obese, the lowest rate of any state.
The number of adults who report they do not engage in any physical activity rose in 12 states in the past year.
Adult obesity rates for African-Americans and Latinos are higher than obesity rates for whites in at least 40 states and the District of Columbia.
Among adults who did not graduate from high school, 33.6% were obese, compared to 22% with college degrees.
12% of high school students are obese and 15.8% are overweight.
10 of the 11 states with the highest rates of diabetes are in the South, as are the 10 states with the highest rates of hypertension.
High rates of obesity are associated with lower incomes, race, ethnicity, and less education, according to the report from the Trust for America's Health (TFAH) and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
So you are seen as less educated, and far less healthy.
Quote from: Nikolai_S on June 06, 2011, 10:41:27 PM
If your BMI is above an ideal range, it is a good idea to try to lose weight. J
This is not necessarily true. The BMI is a busted system. If you google "BMI NPR" the first link should be NPRs article about it. My favourite part is "The person who dreamed up the BMI said explicitly that it could not and should not be used to indicate the level of fatness in an individual", which is exactly what people try to use it for. ::)
The BMI does not take into account the fact that muscle weighs more than fat. It could be telling you you're obese, when really you're just muscular.
i suggest you go on at least 2000 kcal diet. and if you exercise you might want to increase this number to 2250.
it's because if you get less, (it depends on the body, but about 1800-1700 might be the limit) your body gets the signal: "omg starvation!!11!1" and starts saving energy. that means, metabolism rate is slowed down. the first weeks and even months you might actually lose a lot weight, but later you just stop, and then even if you slightly increase the food taken, or have a piece of cheesecake "just this once", every single calorie is converted to body fat. not mentioning cravings, pms-like mood and memory going worse.
i completely understand, that you wish to drop the fat asap, so do i. but we didn't get fat in few months. in my case, it took several years. reversing the effect might take at least half of this time.
EDIT: this might be slightly offtopic, but i just wanted to say, start the daily contrast (hot-cold-hot-cold) showers right now. it's the only way to prevent having a loose skin after the weight loss.
It's usually pretty obvious when someone is muscular compared to obese.
What you need is a health check making sure your cholesterol, liver function tests, diabetes screen. blood pressure etc are in a 'healthy' range. If not be guided by your medical professionals. Like Karen I am slim. I weigh 62 kilos. I have high cholesterol, probably genetic as diet change has done nothing. BP is fine, all over health checks are fine. The BMI may be flawed but it gives a number and people like numbers.
Cindy
The BMI can be a general guide. You know whether you have lots of muscle or none at all or somewhere in-between. For more precise measurements you could find out your body fat percentage and that should give you a better idea of whether you need to lose weight and how much. Also, like someone said, getting your health checked is key for everyone, especially if you know you have excess fat.
So, to an extent I say some of these actions/views regarding obese folks are justified, because it does go hand-in-hand with less mobility, more health risks, etc. And to a VERY big extent it has nothing to do with genetics - genetics can give you "an edge" one way or another (i.e. make it easier/harder for you to gain/lose weight), but genetics do not mean you HAVE to be 200lbs overweight or something. The biggest factors are your diet and physical activity level.
Quote from: Nikolai_S on June 06, 2011, 10:41:27 PM
That being said, I'm from the PA/WV border area and notice the average weight in the general population is fairly well reflected in employees, and in WV I think the obesity rate is well above the national average, so I'm kind of surprised that OP is running into any more problems than he might elsewhere in the country. Although I think at the level of morbid obesity employment anywhere might have some prejudices to deal with, and I don't know where you fall. Are there any studies that have been done on employment discrimination in the area as opposed to nationally?
Well I'm born & raised in this area, and everywhere I go, all I see are very petite women with jobs. The size 2 or less types. Very thin, tiny women. My biceps are bigger than their waists. WVU stopped pre-employment testing because of me, because I doubled the required speed on their typing test for a data entry job and they panicked, they hung up on me numerous times and then when I reapplied, guess what, there was no such thing as pre-employment testing. My aunt had a friend who worked at Teletech, which claims you don't need any experience to work there. So her friend begged, begged and pleased with the HR person there to hire me and that person said they can't have "people like me" work for them. Everyone else who works there is stick thin. It's a freaking call center! Yet back when Wal Mart was at the old mall and they had that cell phone dealer in it, the guy who worked for that cell phone company had to weigh over 600 lbs. It's ok for a man to be huge here, but how dare a woman be over a size 2.
Tekla, IMO that should still count as employment discrimination. Weight has no correlation to intelligence and doesn't always correlate to health. For one, I have a gifted range IQ, and secondly, my blood tests showed everything was perfect, and I have perfect blood pressure. They shouldn't be allowed to discriminate based on negative, prejudiced assumptions. Btw, I have a good friend who's 500 lbs, has multiple degrees and is multilingual. Weight doesn't affect intelligence. How many perfectly thin people are as dumb as rocks??
Quote from: Thrall on June 07, 2011, 04:08:19 AM
EDIT: this might be slightly offtopic, but i just wanted to say, start the daily contrast (hot-cold-hot-cold) showers right now. it's the only way to prevent having a loose skin after the weight loss.
Where did you get this information? I take those kinds of showers, but haven't heard of this.
Quote from: Forum Admin on June 07, 2011, 05:23:19 PM
Where did you get this information? I take those kinds of showers, but haven't heard of this.
doctors at the eating disorders' center told me that. so did my friend who's getting m.d. degree herself.
Losing weight can take many years, I would start looking for other areas I could improve to make myself more marketable.
I don't know what your computer degree is in, but my father, who lives in PA used to be in charge of hiring for software engineers and other "computer" positions.
Appearance does play a role. I have friend that I've known since elementary school who is very big. They have a hard time finding clothes big enough. Often they have to get clothes made. How you dress plays a big part in first impressions. You want to dress a level above what you would wear if you were hired. Make sure you are well groomed. Definitely do not wear any sort of body spray, perfume, cologne.
Where your degree is from is also important. If it's a from a for profit school, it's pretty much worthless. Having a degree from a reputable school is a must.
Experience is another big factor. It shows you can apply the knowledge that your degree says you have. There's a difference between knowing how to do something and having acquired the necessary skills. You need to prove that you have the ability work, learn, and function as part of the team. Your personality and being able to mesh with the team is very important.
You need to have a strong resume. If it's weak or you are elusive or vague when you are called in and are going over details, you aren't going to get the job.
You said you've never had a job. Do you just mean in your chosen field? Or do you have absolutely no work experience?
Nope. No work experience. Been rejected all my life. It's nothing but a beauty contest for women.
Quote from: Thrall on June 07, 2011, 04:08:19 AM
this might be slightly offtopic, but i just wanted to say, start the daily contrast (hot-cold-hot-cold) showers right now. it's the only way to prevent having a loose skin after the weight loss.
What do you mean by contrast showers? Google isn't helping me for once.
Quote from: Lee on June 07, 2011, 07:30:21 PM
What do you mean by contrast showers? Google isn't helping me for once.
http://www.vsnaturopathy.com/Shower.html (http://www.vsnaturopathy.com/Shower.html)
Quote from: sascraps on June 07, 2011, 07:02:41 PM
Nope. No work experience. Been rejected all my life. It's nothing but a beauty contest for women.
You don't think it's possible that there are other factors why you aren't getting hired?
If what you are saying is true then there are thousands of women in the WV/PA/MD/OH area who can't get a job. I personally know a few very obese women who are employed in this area. I currently work and live in PA. I've gotten hired as a fat and unattractive woman.
The only other factors I could think of would be that I don't come from money and can't get designer name clothes or show up in a Mercedes or a Lexus or something, ya know? Or it could just be me, because in this area, I've been known since kindergarten as the town joke. I've always been considered the ugliest person in the world. People around here think I'm outrageously, unbelievably, so far beyond hideous like nothing they've ever seen before. People really have extreme reactions to my face here. :(
sascraps, you must be a tough guy to put up with all of this. but still... what stops you from moving out?
EDIT: grammar
Honey, the best way to deal with people like that is to prove them wrong.
You say you want to be a mechanic but there's nowhere locally to learn... have you thought about an online course? I trawled around the interweb a little and found this, maybe it's something you could look into?
http://www.homestudycourses.net/auto-mechanics-home-study.html (http://www.homestudycourses.net/auto-mechanics-home-study.html)
You can be anything you want to be, all you need is the determination. *hug* Don't let others stop you pursuing your dreams.
If I didn't have any pets to worry about, I'd have been gone years ago. But with pets, and without money, there's no way out.
Quote from: Casey Leon on June 06, 2011, 09:07:36 PM
Female bodies, by virtue of naturally having less muscle, burn less calories than a male body. So if you input male, they'll tell you to eat more calories, which could stunt your weight loss quite significantly, and also it would overestimate your exercise needs, telling you that you burned more than you actually did.
For example, I'm female-bodied, not on T, so this is how it would affect someone of my size:
Female: 5'4", age 22, 180 lbs, sedentary lifestyle: I burn 1870 a day just by living.
Male: 5'4", age 22, 180 lbs, sedentary lifestyle: i burn 2070 a day just by living.
So there's about half a pound a week difference right there. Just basic; that doesn't include exercise differences either. I'd type that in too but my pet is on the keyboard trying to eat my fingers. :P
^
This
Whenever I calculate for exercises and medications and ext. I always input female. It's hard to do sometimes, but necessary. For instance, I have a body fat percentage of 25 or so, normal for a 20 yr old 5' 2" woman. I want to be lower, closer to a male level. However, the only way to do that is to lose weight as per what is normal for a woman. It can be confusing at first, but you figure it out.
IMO that should still count as employment discrimination... They shouldn't be allowed to discriminate based on negative, prejudiced assumptions.
Discrimination, at least on a legal basis, is a matter of class and not individuals. You have to have a situation where an entire groups of people are discriminated against as a matter of policy. And any - and every - employer these days has a huge amount of people to choose from which makes it hard for anyone to prove discrimination. It way too easy to find someone/anyone, who 'would be a better fit for our company'.
And long, long before anyone really had a chance to see you to discriminate on the basis of your looks - and don't kid yourself, image is important, and in many jobs critical - the fact that you have zero work history would be a resume killer all by itself. I myself would not read past that point as I don't need to try to supervise people who not even aware of what it is to be an 'employee' in this day and age. Nor would it be fair to the people who trust me to make those decisions, who expect me to choose people based on what would be best for the company.
Strictly speaking, just for myself, as a working supervisor, I really don't have the time to supervise, I'd rather be getting my real work done. So I bring on people who don't need any supervision at all. People who know what the work requires and have proven their ability to meet those demands over a rather long period of time. When I'm on the deck with my crew (usually 4 others) we have over 150 years of combined experience doing rock concerts. And that means that I don't have to worry about them. They are proven commodity.
I actually have experience doing concerts. But that's another story. So what am I supposed to do? I'm going to be homeless for the rest of my life because no one ever gave me a chance? Do I not deserve to be a part of this world? You know, I wish I could just delete this thread entirely because I'm sick of always hearing how worthless everyone thinks I am and how I'm just not good enough for this world or good for anything!!
Quote from: sascraps on June 08, 2011, 05:04:15 PM
I actually have experience doing concerts. But that's another story. So what am I supposed to do? I'm going to be homeless for the rest of my life because no one ever gave me a chance? Do I not deserve to be a part of this world? You know, I wish I could just delete this thread entirely because I'm sick of always hearing how worthless everyone thinks I am and how I'm just not good enough for this world or good for anything!!
No one is saying your worthless or that you can't be good enough. If you want your life to change you have to make the change happen. Wanting a job isn't going to get you one. You have to make yourself someone an employer wants to hire. Until you accept any short comings you have, we all have them, and work to improve yourself, you are going to be at a standstill. You got to help yourself before anyone else will.
That's what I'm trying to do, but I guess some people think it's hopeless since I didn't start out in life thin, good looking and appearing to be from an upper class family. I'm doing the best I can. So they don't hire fat people for anything. I'm trying to lose weight. And being male will take off the HUGE burden of having to be beautiful to get a job.
Quote from: sascraps on June 06, 2011, 08:38:07 PMI'm paranoid that people are watching the fatty attempting hard labor and laughing at my awkwardness.
Look you said yourself, your paranoid. You paranoia really seems to be crippling you. Have you considered getting help for this? And maybe a goal setting group?
QuoteI was horribly uncoordinated all around as a kid, and the ability to walk without falling finally set in at about 14, and at maybe around age 26, I've been able to move my fingers independently much better, but still not fast enough to play guitar, but I have hope that my coordination will continue to develop. (And yes that means I once wasn't able to flip someone off.) :embarrassed:
If you literally can't raise a finger that is way beyond being uncoordinated. I hope me saying this is redundant, but you are seeing a doctor about this, right? That sounds like something is seriously wrong. Wrong enough to make you a candidate for going on disability pay? Maybe?
Quote from: sascraps on June 07, 2011, 08:34:58 AMMy aunt had a friend who worked at Teletech, which claims you don't need any experience to work there. So her friend begged, begged and pleased with the HR person there to hire me and that person said they can't have "people like me" work for them
I know you think this is about your weight, but I think it's at least because you had someone begging them to hire you. That sets a very wrong impression. I would never hire someone that has someone begging me to hire them like that, helicoptering for them. That's definitely not the type of person I would want working for me.
Quote from: sascraps on June 08, 2011, 09:41:13 AMThe only other factors I could think of would be that I don't come from money and can't get designer name clothes or show up in a Mercedes or a Lexus or something, ya know? Or it could just be me, because in this area, I've been known since kindergarten as the town joke. I've always been considered the ugliest person in the world. People around here think I'm outrageously, unbelievably, so far beyond hideous like nothing they've ever seen before. People really have extreme reactions to my face here. :(
Most people don't come from money. You don't need designer name clothes, you just need to look good. I got hired in a suit form Kmart. No one is going to be checking the label. Most people don't have luxury cars either. I don't even own any type of car. It is you. It's not because your ugly, which I don't even think you are. It's not because you don't deserve to be part of the world, because you do. It's not because you are worthless, because you're not. There was a time where everyone wasn't good enough for a job they now have. You just have to make yourself good enough. Does everyone in your town actually know you?
Quote from: sascraps on June 08, 2011, 11:08:27 AMIf I didn't have any pets to worry about, I'd have been gone years ago. But with pets, and without money, there's no way out.
Be sure not to get anymore pets. You can't put an animal's life before yours forever. I don't know the life span of the pets you have, but if they still got a long life ahead of them, maybe you should rehome, or find a way to take them with you.
Quote from: sascraps on June 08, 2011, 05:21:33 PMThat's what I'm trying to do, but I guess some people think it's hopeless since I didn't start out in life thin, good looking and appearing to be from an upper class family. I'm doing the best I can. So they don't hire fat people for anything. I'm trying to lose weight. And being male will take off the HUGE burden of having to be beautiful to get a job.
About half of America isn't thin or even that good looking. Most people aren't from an upper class family. If you think this is the best you can do, you're underestimating your abilities. Fat people do get hired, unattractive women do get hired. I hope your main reasons for transitioning aren't just because you don't think you make a pretty girl.
Do you even have a resume?
Just to clarify, I'm not retarded or disabled. I have a 137 IQ. I was SERIOUSLY uncoordinated growing up, and I'm still not a sculptor or anything, but my coordination has way improved.
No one is saying you're worthless, they are just trying to give you realistic help because often failure is not the result of failing as much as its the product of unrealistic expectations.
You don't need designer clothes (really they impress no one important), but you do need clothes that are appropriate to what you are going to do, that fit you right, that are clean and cared for. No one cares what kind of car you show up in unless it's some sort of car job.
Life is not much kinder to heavily overweight men. And other areas of the country are much less restrained about overt discrimination.
I actually have experience doing concerts. But that's another story
I don't know, it's my story. I've been doing that kind of work since I was 16 and gave up a tenured teaching job at a university because in the end I just loved doing the shows more (That it paid better was just a bonus). I make (take-home) about $500+ a show but that's for a 12-16 hour day. It's not consistent, so you have to pace and budget yourself, still... And on days when were really in production, well I've had weeks where I have not left that building for five days straight, I just sleep in my office, get up and do it again. Which makes it hard to have pets.
And, while we're on the subject, are they really that important? Wouldn't you rather have a better life without pets, or continue the one your in with your pets? Some choices are hard.
Just to step in on the interview area.
I conduct a lot of job interviews. In my are a of work it can be for a newbie or someone with heaps of experience. But the rules are much the same.
Resume. Tell the truth, use dot points so that I can see the information. If you have long periods of being unemployed or difficulty getting employed tell me what you were doing. If you are having problems getting a job what have you been doing. Sitting on my arse worrying about it doesn't count. Acting as a volunteer for a worthwhile cause does. Unpaid employment also counts. Etc. Make it short and snappy. I will be looking at 50 plus of these and I don't have time to extract the information, you need to present it.
Covering letter. Address the job specifications. Tell me why you can do the job. Make damn sure the spelling is correct. Make sure you spell the names of people correctly. I once culled 90% of applications because they got the names of the two people wanting to employ a person wrong. They had common names but unusual spelling of them, if an applicant doesn't have the attention to spell my name correctly, they are useless for my line of work. I need people who are attentive to detail.
Interview. Be clean. Don't smell. Clean your teeth. Dress in a neutral manner. For woman slacks and blouse, or a skirt or whatever, don't turn up looking like a hooker, unless that is the job. For guys again slacks and a clean shirt. I don't care if the clothes are the latest fashion, or are old. As long as you present as a person who cares about themselves. This might be sexist. If you are wearing a blouse, I really don't need to see the puppies, dress conservatively. If a guy, don't wear really tight trousers I'm not interested in the size of the bulge (and yes I have had both, including a young lady who made sure that she leaned forward far enough so we knew the colour of her bra. Didn't impress me, and the guys on the panel didn't seem interested either.). Think carefully about tats etc. General labour type jobs can look like anything. Consumer care or (sexist again) working in a 'female environment, Aggressive tattoos are a no no. I know I have said this before but I did interview a young man who seemed very pleasant, except he had very visible Nazi tatoos and his knuckles had love hate tats, and he had very short hair and he looked like a skin head. No way would I take a risk and employ him in a position that meant working mainly female staff. Yes it was discrimination and it is practiced all the time. It is also known as risk management.
During the interview be enthusiastic, without going over the top. Make sure you have done your research. You have to know what the company does etc. It's all available on the Internet. Have some question for the panel, and not how much will I get paid etc.
Answer the questions clearly and precisely. Don't waffle, and don't give one word answers unless it is obvious that is what is required.
Be prepared to put in the extra. People want team players who can think for themselves. Be prepared for such questions. You can Google interview questions, practice answers
to them depending upon the job you are applying for.
How to not get a job at interview. Smell. Look like a slob. Don't communicate. Don't be aware of what the job is. Present yourself as a person who will not get along with co-workers, be disinterested.
Things that don't matter a damn and you worry about. Physical appearance, unless there is a particular job specification. Quality of clothing, just be neat. Being nervous.
Things you have to do. Be on time. Be polite. Be responsive. Sell your qualities. Be honest.
Cindy
Commenting on the original losing weight issue here :)
Just wanted to let you know there is a site called loseit.com that I use, where you put in the food you eat during the day and it keeps a record for you of food you ate and exercise you did.
Reason I'm mentioning though, someone talked about your metabolic rate slowing down if you drop calorie intake too quickly, and that is very true. What loseit does that is unique is it gives you a limit (depending on age, weight, height, sex and how quickly you want to lose, limit is 2 lbs a week) and starts you off slow, as you lose more weight the limit drops to accommodate, keeping your body from going into hyper starvation mode and also giving you a smooth and easy decline in calorie intake, so you get used to it more easily.
I have never stayed on a diet so long before, eating less feels very natural now, I get full easier, I never have felt like I was starving doing it either. I've been on it since november and lost about 25 lbs so far, so it's a little slow going, but that's the kind you want to keep the weight off, as that is the kind that becomes a lifestyle changer rather than just a fad diet :)
By the way, you can also share your progress on facebook and twitter through it. Not sure about the pronouns issue though as I've never done it :/