Not sure if this has ever been asked here before. But just what does it mean to be a man? Is this like a rhetorical question, is there a right answer, is there more than one answer, is it all opinion-based? Just what does it mean anyway?

To me, I believe that being a man means you know how to keep cool, calm, collected, and composed(the four C's of peace, as I like to call these words) under even the most stressful of times. I almost feel like that my hardened male mind has kept me strong even during impossible times such as when I first experienced the horrible delirium and utter confusion, pain, and turmoil and uncertainty of end-stage renal disease even after being told I would die if I was not put on dialysis right away. Even at age 21, I remained cool, calm, collected, and composed....especially for my mommy and daddy. I kept a cool head and stayed strong for them.

In this moment, I was being a man.

Does this mean that men can't cry? Of course, that is not what this means. I honestly never really believed this. I think its the very same social constructs that enforce very tight gender roles/boxes that claim that men can't cry.

I just believe that its important for a man to go by these four C's especially because it reflects his character development and growth as not only a male but a person. Its like his 'weapons' so to speak, against a possibly cruel, callous, cold-hearted world.

So what does being a man mean to you dudes?

Don't be a stranger and just give me a holler!


~Nixy~

First, I doubt you'll get just one answer to this question. It's so subjective and it's really values based. Everyone will have different views on it.

I've rewritten my response to this multiple times. Everything I come up with could just as easily apply to women or any other mature adult. But your response was kind of similar, so I'll go with it. Just so long as everyone reading knows that I'm not saying women can't be these things.

For me, being a man means that I handle my business and have control of my life. It's especially relevant for me now that I've socially transitioned and am seen as a man in daily life. Everyone expects me to be very put together. If I had to pick one phrase/ideal to describe it, I think self-discipline comes closest.

I may not be a full grown man yet, but I have a few views.

For now, being a man means getting my degree, going to grad school, and walking out a soon-to-be (although broke) veterinarian. It means being respectful to my elders, my peers, and the woman I am with. It means being old-fashioned in a way, with chivalry still existing to me. It also means being able to take care of myself and my brothers, while showing them what a real man is despite everyone telling me and them otherwise. And finally, standing up for those who can't themselves, but that should follow for everyone in the "common sense" realm of things.

My values for being a man are the same values I have being a decent human being, no matter what gender.

Being a man to me means upholding my values even in the face of adversity.
Practicing empathy and tolerance.
Standing up for those that can not speak for themselves.
Working hard to protect and support the ones I love and care about.
Giving up what I want when I must, and recognizing when others have needs that surpass my own.
Making the world a better place for everyone and not only myself.

Being a man to me means handling my responsibilities, providing and taking care of my family, being humble, being respectful, being a gentlemen, recongizing and admitting when I am wrong, standing up for those who aren't in the wrong, stuff like that.

This is a great topic, and I love your 4 C's.

For me, being a man means being there to take care of the ones I love. It means being strong and making decisions. I need to take responsibility in my life so that when someone needs me, I'm in a position to help whenever possible. And of course, always be a gentleman.

One of my bigger struggles right now is actually learning to be more decisive. It's hard to learn after a lifetime of people walking all over you and what-not, but I'm getting better. I'm working very hard to put myself in a good financial situation, and once I get top surgery, I'm going to go to school to get into the veterinary field so I can make a career for myself so I can buy a house some day.

The most difficult part of taking charge of my life as a man is doing it while starting the transition process and working 50+ hours a week. x.x

Well I believe you must be swift as a coursing river with all force of a great typhoon and all the strength of a raging fire while mysterious as the dark side of the moon

I dunno, I've known quite a few women like that...

please excuse this intrusion but I just have to say;  It is so deeply intrinsic that I really never felt like a man no matter what i looked like or what i did that was supposedly manly.  A beard, being a soldier and going to war, fathering children, having a wife, none of that worked as my sense of being female has persisted for 64 years now.

The trans guys I have met are men regardless of looks or behavior, they just seem to know it like i never did.  I was speaking with a trans man two days ago and he was bummed out about looking like "a perpetual teen age boy."  But, he had no doubts he was no woman and certainly is a man.

I so admire you guys!

I pretty much have to agree with the four C's. I would also say, responsibility, and a certain reservation from which you can observe things, think about them, and really listen to people. The guy from the Art of Manliness writes a lot of things I usually agree with.

Then again I pretty much see this as universal qualities. Maybe they are more masculine, but I wouldn't mind if more women worked on improving these aspects of themselves either.

As a man with clinical anxiety and a bit of fire behind his eyes, I would really hope that's not what being a man is about haha.

What makes a man is far too subjective to worry about someone else's definition for himself fortunately.

I will never be cool, calm, collected, or composed.
I'm anxious, wild, and loud lol.

For me, being a man vs being a woman isn't something that can properly be described or captured. It's an emotion on it's own. Just like you can't describe purple to a colorblind person, you can't describe the feeling of being a man.

It comes with no requirements or prerequisites, other than what society pushes on us.

It is an old poem.

What is a man or a woman.

Sometimes you have to think of current thought. Why do you want a difference (rhetorical question)

To be a man?

"THE MEASURE OF A MAN"

Not - How did he die? But - How did he live?
Not - What did he gain? But - What did he give?

These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Not - What was his station? But - had he a heart?
And - How did he play his God-given part?

Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer?
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not - What was his church? Not - What was his creed?
But - Had he befriended those really in need?

Not - What did the sketch in the newspaper say?
But - How many were sorry when he passed away?

These are the things that measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling comes to mind http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772

On the notion of men not being able to cry, or that they shouldn't cry, I think that stems from the fact that crying isn't conducive to solving problems, maintaining the "Four Cs" as OP mentioned, or in general just getting ->-bleeped-<- done.

I have no idea what it means to be a man. Or a woman.

All I know is what feels wrong and what I would choose to do to put it right. 

Quote from: BenKenobi on September 12, 2015, 09:39:47 AM
Well I believe you must be swift as a coursing river with all force of a great typhoon and all the strength of a raging fire while mysterious as the dark side of the moon

DAMN IT!  You beat me to it!  Well played, Ben.  Well played.

Leslie Jordan talks about this in his one man show, My Life on the Pink Carpet.  He talks about how he had to go to AA and that he was scared to death because he was certain the men there would want to beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of him.  However, they didn't care if he was gay.  They taught him that a real man defines himself.  He sets his own rules, decides his own boundaries, ethics, morals.  It makes sense to me and I'll remember it for the rest of my life.