Safe travels Stephanie. I know your welcoming committee will be exceptionally happy to see you again! All your friends at Susan's will also be happier once you make it home safe.

I show you off the north-west corner of Ireland right now.  It's sunny today, so I'll wave as you fly over Nova Scotia.

Safe journey Stephanie

Tracking you on Flight Radar 24 and see you are between Iceland 🇮🇸 and Greenland 🇬🇱

Hugs

Paula xx

Drat, it looks like your track is too far north to wave to you.  You'll be coming in over New Brunswick, too far over to even see a contrail.

Oh, well, happy landing anyway!  And a joyful reunion with your loved ones.

Having trouble finding your flight on Flightradar 24? Nothing shows up?

Quote from: Donica on December 16, 2018, 10:49:17 AM
Having trouble finding your flight on Flightradar 24? Nothing shows up?

At this very moment she is 40,000 ft over Portland, Maine 😎

Now over USA 🇺🇸 soil.

47 minutes to touch down at Philly airport 😀

This is the actual plane:   https://www.jetphotos.com/info/A330/40-1011

If you click on AA755 on this site, you will find her on Flightradar24

She's landed.

Welcome home Stephanie.

Been quite an adventure over the last two weeks or so 😀

Oh, I'm not done yet. But I made it through  customs, bag pickup, bag recheck, and full security (despite the fact that I paid for Prechek), including the Pornomatic full body scanner, and had absolutely zero problems. I had my doctors letter out and ready, but didn't need it.

Nothing but Madame, Miss, ma'am, even mademoiselle once! I haven't heard "sir" in so long I can't really tell you when. This entire trip has been exactly the way it should be, even though I still have a hard time lowering my guard. And that's with a swollen, bruised face.

Next up, the flight from Philly to Orlando. AA422.

Thanks for riding shotgun, everyone.

Stephanie

Hi Stephanie,

Great to hear from you.

Being bit of a plane buff (I live right under the flight path out of London Heathrow for flights at 3000 to 5000 ft going south) here is the plane that you are flying on.

https://www.jetphotos.com/info/A32X-4893

Safe journey south to greater warmth.

Hugs

Paula

Quote from: Steph2.0 on December 16, 2018, 01:55:45 PM
Oh, I'm not done yet. But I made it through  customs, bag pickup, bag recheck, and full security (despite the fact that I paid for Prechek), including the Pornomatic full body scanner, and had absolutely zero problems. I had my doctors letter out and ready, but didn't need it.

Nothing but Madame, Miss, ma'am, even mademoiselle once! I haven't heard "sir" in so long I can't really tell you when. This entire trip has been exactly the way it should be, even though I still have a hard time lowering my guard. And that's with a swollen, bruised face.

Next up, the flight from Philly to Orlando. AA422.

Thanks for riding shotgun, everyone.

Stephanie

Welcome home Stephanie, heal well. We hope to see you in a few weeks.

Tia & Deb

Quote from: Anne Blake on December 16, 2018, 04:58:05 PM
Welcome home Stephanie, heal well. We hope to see you in a few weeks.

Tia & Deb

Yay!!!

I see Stephanie has not checked in here, as yet.  Well, it is at least partly my fault.  My wife and I made arrangements to meet up with Stephanie and Cassie for some pizza right after she got the luggage collect.  The four of us had a great couple of hours together.  Both of them look great after their most recent modifications.  Everyone, rest assured that Stephanie is safely on the ground here in Florida.  Most likely the girls are catching up on their sleep after a long day for both of them.

Welcome home,
Stevi

Quote from: Stevi on December 16, 2018, 10:36:16 PM
I see Stephanie has not checked in here, as yet.  Well, it is at least partly my fault.  My wife and I made arrangements to meet up with Stephanie and Cassie for some pizza right after she got the luggage collect.  The four of us had a great couple of hours together.  Both of them look great after their most recent modifications.  Everyone, rest assured that Stephanie is safely on the ground here in Florida.  Most likely the girls are catching up on their sleep after a long day for both of them.

Welcome home,
Stevi

We were both pretty tired that evening but were glad we could meet up with you two for some pizza and then milk and cookies. After getting home, we crashed hard but woke up a bit earlier than expected. It was nice to spend some time with Stephanie, sitting in front of the fireplace with our coffee just as though it were a Sunday. The time did come for us to say our goodbyes and I sent her home to go and see her fur baby. She messaged me earlier that she was going to take a nap before cooking dinner but it's been a while and I suspect that that nap may last a bit longer in duration than a typical nap. After all she's been through the past two weeks, it's well deserved.

Yes, I'm back home. What an incredible journey I've just finished. I'll write about the last part of it when I get a chance, but right now I need to vent.

For the entire trip, with countless interactions with strangers, I was not misgendered once. Not once. Madame, ma'am, miss, señora, La fille, even mademoiselle. So after experiencing life as it should be, here I am with a cold slap in the face as I return to reality.

As you may know, I'm part of a trivia team on Tuesday evenings. Two of the members knew me in the "before times." One, the woman, is so incredibly cool and supportive, and never makes a mistake. The other, a guy, occasionally misgenders me. That sucks, but is kind of expected. The other two, a married couple, never knew anyone but Stephanie, and there was some question about whether they even knew the situation. Evidence seemed to point toward them not knowing. I was internally rejoicing that I was able to interact with them with no question about who I am.

Well, it turns out that when I was gone, it was determined that they do know, somehow, when they misgendered me.

Great.

They've always been nice, and knowing that they thought of me as only the woman Stephanie was comforting. Now that I know that they see me as a guy playing a woman, my confidence is shot, and I'll be especially vigilant for mistakes.

My original plan was to just give up the trivia and maybe have my wife tell them why I'm not going any more. But it sucks to limit my life and my already limited human interaction (because of the recent distancing of my neighbors) based on what could happen, and my own sad knowledge that I'm not seen the way I want to be. The way I need to be.

I know @Michelle_P and @Jessica_Rose have been having this same problem, as I suspect many others have. What the H is the problem with people? When I'm presenting well enough that strangers unerringly get it right, this one small fact is enough to make them use the wrong pronouns?

Maybe I'm too used to the concept of transitioning. I just can no longer understand what the big deal is. The world still has such a long way to go...

Stephanie

@Steph2.0
Dear Stephanie:
It is surely a nice feeling for you to be back home.   With the forums and the internet it was so nice that we could all follow you around and be with you during all of your away from home experiences, sights, and your surgery progress.
... and it was certainly very nice that our lovely forums friend @Kendra could be with you for part of your journey... bless her very much for doing that act of kindness and caring for you.

Yes indeed, the strangers, and certainly out of towners get the gendering correctly and never launch insults, bad comments or staring....   as you have testified, it is our loved ones and our previously close friends, acquaintances and neighbors that can have an issue with our life changing decision and how we appear and present ourselves now.

Do know that you are not alone... as you mentioned, there are members here such as @Michelle_P and @Jessica_Rose ... and many others including myself that have had those dreaded experiences.   While I am fully accepted and never misgendered here where I am now, I am definitely dreading my proposed and soon planned trip to visit my parents, family and old friends "back home" this month...   I have not been back for 2 years and when I left there was no acceptance whatsoever as I presented myself as Full-Time....   according to my limited conversations with any of them I am not expecting any miraculous changes in their opinions and of my acceptance.... but I will go with self-confidence and self-assurance with my head held high, exactly as you have been doing Stephanie.

Yes indeed, as you correctly stated, "The world has such a long way to go..."

Again, Welcome Back HOME.... 
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Stephanie, I am sorry you have to put up with this. 

It is clear that the issue isn't passing.  It is how they perceive trans people.  To the vast majority of people, even those who are supposedly accepting, the definition of a trans woman is a man in drag.  And that belief, when they find out you are trans, means that they think of you as "really" a man..

We see it reinforced all the time in news stories, where trans women (it is mostly women they write about) are always referred to as "changing genders" or "born a man".  The general public will remain hopeless unless we can get it through people's heads, especially reporters', that a trans woman was born a woman and has never been anything but a woman.

Quote from: Steph2.0 on December 18, 2018, 01:16:41 PMMadame, ma'am, miss, señora, La fille, even mademoiselle.

There, I fixed that for you.  You wouldn't want to misgender yourself! 

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on December 18, 2018, 01:46:09 PM
@Steph2.0
Dear Stephanie:
It is surely a nice feeling for you to be back home.   With the forums and the internet it was so nice that we could all follow you around and be with you during all of your away from home experiences, sights, and your surgery progress.
... and it was certainly very nice that our lovely forums friend @Kendra could be with you for part of your journey... bless her very much for doing that act of kindness and caring for you.

Yes indeed, the strangers, and certainly out of towners get the gendering correctly and never launch insults, bad comments or staring....   as you have testified, it is our loved ones and our previously close friends, acquaintances and neighbors that can have an issue with our life changing decision and how we appear and present ourselves now.

Do know that you are not alone... as you mentioned, there are members here such as @Michelle_P and @Jessica_Rose ... and many others including myself that have had those dreaded experiences.   While I am fully accepted and never misgendered here where I am now, I am definitely dreading my proposed and soon planned trip to visit my parents, family and old friends "back home" this month...   I have not been back for 2 years and when I left there was no acceptance whatsoever as I presented myself as Full-Time....   according to my limited conversations with any of them I am not expecting any miraculous changes in their opinions and of my acceptance.... but I will go with self-confidence and self-assurance with my head held high, exactly as you have been doing Stephanie.

Yes indeed, as you correctly stated, "The world has such a long way to go..."

Again, Welcome Back HOME.... 
Hugs and hugs and well wishes,
Danielle

Thank you, Danielle. I'm so glad you enjoyed riding along on my adventures. As soon as I get caught up here I'll write the conclusion.

And yes, @Kendra. My trip would have been interesting, but rather gray and lifeless without her along. With her there, there was never a dull moment. She truly embodies Newton's First Law concerning objects in motion (whereas I usually represent objects at rest). It's not likely I would have been able to see the three biggest things and countless small things in Paris in two days without her taking charge and dragging me all over the city. The stay in Madrid was short but intense. Planes, trains, and automobiles, and a night in old town Marbella. It was hard work keeping up, but so worth it to hang out with such a fun woman.

And yet after surgery I discovered her nurturing, maternal side as well. She was so attentive and caring while I was hurting.

I'll never understand how such a dynamic, intense person came to hang out with someone like me, but it's time for me to stop questioning and just enjoy it. I was just talking about making new friends over on @SassyCassie's thread, and how so many people here transcend friendship to become family. My family was tiny before I started this journey, and expanding it with such people has been yet another benefit of transitioning.

I'm well aware of your situation where you are now, and as you know, I've expressed envy about it occasionally. But I have been lucky in terms of my family, and it hurts to know how your family has been treating you. Such a warm, caring person should never be treated that way. I make no judgements about them - they obviously have their own issues that guide their reactions. I just hope that by opening the door a crack they'll see your light shine in and decide that whatever has been keeping them in the cold is no longer worth shunning your warmth. I wish you all the best, and yes, keep your head high as you've counseled me to do, and never forget those who love you, both in your adopted community and here.


Stephanie

Quote from: KathyLauren on December 18, 2018, 01:53:23 PM
Stephanie, I am sorry you have to put up with this. 

It is clear that the issue isn't passing.  It is how they perceive trans people.  To the vast majority of people, even those who are supposedly accepting, the definition of a trans woman is a man in drag.  And that belief, when they find out you are trans, means that they think of you as "really" a man..

We see it reinforced all the time in news stories, where trans women (it is mostly women they write about) are always referred to as "changing genders" or "born a man".  The general public will remain hopeless unless we can get it through people's heads, especially reporters', that a trans woman was born a woman and has never been anything but a woman.
There, I fixed that for you.  You wouldn't want to misgender yourself! 

Thank you Kathy. What you say makes a lot of sense. And oh my gosh, thank you for fixing my horrible French. That was a bad mistake, and is now corrected!

A couple of things happened yesterday to neutralize the bad mood I was in. The first was my decision to go to trivia regardless of what I now know. I decided to get a little fancied up to try to make the point - sort of "look at me here, how can you misgender me now?" I talked myself into holding my head high, as Danielle advises, and show up with a big smile.

Then just before I left I got an email from the wife of one of the guys here in the neighborhood who'd given me such a hard time. She's been nice, but I was wondering whether her husband's attitude had poisoned her. But she was inviting me along with some other ladies as they went out to walk their dogs. The invitation almost had me in tears, and I was so sorry to have to decline. I hope she'll remember me next time they do it.

I had decided to go into the trivia contest without indicating my new knowledge. And I was welcomed back with smiles by everyone there, including those who I was worried about. There was even a new guy there who I'd never met, and he told me it was nice to meet me as we broke up after the contest. I found out that the trivia master's wife and scorekeeper is also named Stephanie, and as she went around the tables wishing each team Happy Holidays, we high-fived over sharing the same name. My supportive lady friend on the team caught me in the ladies room and wanted to know all about how things went with the surgery. I wonder what the other ladies in the stalls were thinking as we talked about it.

So now I have to wonder why I was worrying about what they think. Does it matter to anyone but me what they say when I'm not around, as long as they treat me well? It seems disrespectful that they won't make the effort if I'm not there, but should I spend mental energy thinking about what their definition of me is?

Given the opportunity I can try to educate, but there seems no real purpose in bringing it up and dumping it on the table when they seem genuinely happy to see me. I think these are authentic people who won't be whispering horrible things behind my back, so maybe I should just let it go and accept the situation at face value.

As we headed out to return home I got a text from someone I hadn't met before. He is a friend of a very sweet, supportive friend, and he's transitioning FtM. My friend had asked if I would be willing to talk with him to give support and encouragement if needed. Of course I agreed, and he contacted me last night. We had a long, very good conversation as we compared and contrasted our experiences. FtM and MtF, dysphoria is the same. The conversation culminated with putting him in touch with @SassyCassie, who works in the same field as he is trying to break into. It felt good to share with another new friend, and we will be keeping in touch. BTW, he's been to Susan's before, and will probably be checking it out again at my recommendation.

Some more warm texts with my BFF, and it was time for bed. My internal clock is taking its time converting back from Spain time, and I was exhausted. I changed into my jammies and went into the bathroom for my evening ablutions. I looked up and was shocked at who was looking back at me in the mirror. I'm not bragging, just voicing my surprise that I now understand why I wasn't misgendered on my trip. She was there looking back at me, and he is fading. I had been feeling a bit down that the results of all the pain and expense I'd gone to with FacialTeam didn't seem to have changed much. Yes, I know I need to be patient, but I hadn't been able to see improvements until last night. It's only 15 days since I woke up in surgery, and it can take up to a year, and maybe even longer, before the full effects will be evident. But I see her now, and it will only get better.

It's hard to beat that for a great way to end a day.


Stephanie

"I'm not bragging, just voicing my surprise that I now understand why I wasn't misgendered on my trip. She was there looking back at me, and he is fading."

No need to apologize!  You look beautiful!!

Quote from: Steph2.0 on December 19, 2018, 09:06:57 AM
...She was there looking back at me, and he is fading. I had been feeling a bit down that the results of all the pain and expense I'd gone to with FacialTeam didn't seem to have changed much. Yes, I know I need to be patient, but I hadn't been able to see improvements until last night. It's only 15 days since I woke up in surgery, and it can take up to a year, and maybe even longer, before the full effects will be evident. But I see her now, and it will only get better.

Isn't that an amazing experience?  And yes, it only gets better.

I'm about 4 months post-op, and the little incisions are almost invisible.  My nose tip is still a bit swollen and numb, as is my chin to lower lip, and a few patches on my forehead.  (I had the full frontal sinus reduction along with the orbits of the eyes.)  From the front I'm still recognizably me, of course.  The profile changes are rather large.

The net result is that I look like my twin sister.  My nephews say I look like their Grandma, my mom, and I can see it now in the old family photos.

FFS is the real Gender Affirmation Surgery, as far as I am concerned.  It has had a huge impact on my life.  @Stephanie, I bet it does the same for you.

You have arrived, girl.  You are the one in that mirror.