Womanhood or Femininity?

[Annah]

I think biological women that pass as biological women can wear girlish things and it is not as criticized, but if you are a trans woman, how you look and perceive femininity is under the microscope by every one.

I know quite a few biological women (a lot actually) who get a lot of weird stares if they try to wear clothing from the junior department. I have to admit, I've been guilty giving off a weird stare at a middle age (biological) woman dressing up in hello kitty goth stuff.

[Princess of Hearts]

Who wants to dress like a middle-aged woman?   Maybe that is why girls and women are usually so fashion and style conscious.  They know that one day they will have to wear frumpy long skirts in sober colours, lumpy, frumpy cardigans, sensible shoes, and hairstyles that defy description.   Probably things are different in America, but once women get over a certain age, they are supposed to drop the long hair and go for a shortish, easily maintained 'quick-comb' style.

Wear whatever you like, stop worrying what other people think, so you dress a lot younger than your age if you like the styles, colours, etc then just do whatever helps you to maintain well-being.  Feeling good 99% of the time is the flower of existence.    For every so-called 'stare', for every supposed titter, you'll still feel good the great majority of the time. 
However, if you go with the herd, you won't get the judgemental looks but you won't get the strong feeling of well-being that is your birth right.    Something that you have forgotten is that we are not here to be bored, stressed, drained, depressed and exhausted.    We are here to feel good about ourselves almost all the time, you can tell to what extent you are alienated from your 'feeling great' birth right by your reaction to the last two sentences.   If your reaction was 'dream on sweetie-pie, I live in the real world'.  The only reason that the real world is so harsh is because people like you think and say to others such things like 'let's be realistic shall we?' 

Who was it that said 'the opposite of courage isn't cowardice, its conformity'?     Osho said ' Do not imitate...be yourself whatever the cost''.   Why are you so concerned with what cow-like 'fear the cemetery' people think?   Schopenhaeur once said to imagine a pianist coming off stage delirious  with joy at the rapturous applause.  Now while you have that image in your mind, imagine how that pianist felt when being told that his audience comprised of deaf-mutes!?*   You and I are surrounded by deaf-mutes!


* I originally typed 'death-mutes', interesting Freudian slip don't you think?

[AbraCadabra]

Really knew squat about manhood and masculinity now I don't have any notions about womanhood and femininity.

I think that stuff is always for others to apply to others. I'm simply me as I was always -since having past the second puberty- and that will just be what is.

Some days I dress frumpy, some too young, some not at all, it depends on my current mood.
Is that feminine or womanly? I guess it's just me...

My gg friends do their thing, I do mine, we all different after all.

Axélle

[Lyric]

You've created an interesting topic here. The variety of opinions seems to reflect well the variety of the transgender experience. Something I learned after a couple of decades of self exploration is that there is really no one right way. It's completely OK to understand yourself and create your own custom version of this stuff. In the end, that's what we all do whether we realize it or not.

I very much see womanhood and femininity as very separate things. While I consider myself transgender, I am not transsexual, and I don't desire to entirely experience womanhood within myself. I do desire to experience femininity within myself and do so in many ways, though even with this I am fine with picking an choosing aspects. Also I believe it is possible for a g-male to be feminine without being effeminate. I know many g-women who are obviously feminine, but not the least bit effeminate.

Happy Girl, your interest in youthful feminine clothing is very common among transgender/crossdressers in the early period of self fulfillment. I've heard it described as going through a second adolescence. As a girl becomes a women she often goes into femininity in a more exaggerated way as sort of a catch up phase.  For genetic males who've repressed this part of themselves for years, this can be even more exaggerated. Enjoy your girlhood and don't worry about what people think for now. In time you'll probably tone it down a bit.

Lyric ~

[lilacwoman]

it is impossible for a g-woman to be effeminate.
it is easy for a g-man to be effeminate.
one of most effeminate men I have seen had zero femaleness.
lots of most female men ie MtFs have zero effeminacy.

[mixie]

I wrote a poem years ago about the contrast between femininity and womanhood. 

Cisgendered perspective and all that,  but here it is for what it's worth.

Hag

The woman who lives in my soul
doesn't play in the minor
nights I am kept awake by
the crashing
and giddy laughter
as she flings the kitchen pots around my bed
and whittles my lipsticks down to stumps

I have found her on occasion
hiding spirits in my throat
used spirits
borrowed from the silent
the ones she has tickled into laughter
or tricked into lecture

she perches beside my ears
to assay the minute
the doubts that have lingered
she drowns them out with her banshee wails
or party horns

I have hidden her in the sock drawer
left her on doorsteps
basketed and blanketed
another war orphan
from the battles of love
the endless devotion of dedicated matriarchs

but then I find her
one leg hooked about each of my ears again
holding onto my hair for dear life
chittering in her ragged voice

when lovers roll over in my bed
she kicks me with pointy boots
yelps goon faced underneath my nylons
with her razor nails drawn
slashing loudly and then
mewling like a cat flung towards the sea


I have ignored her
spent hours talking her into sleep
and then covering her with a pillow
I have stabbed her through
with crochet hooks
slapped her silly with
wooden spoons



but

I can ignite a fire with my hair
and my voice is in the smooth tradition
of water washed stones
and the very thought of her
sends my hands rushing like
flocking birds
I am listening to her now....

[Jen61]

I wrote a poem years ago about the contrast between femininity and womanhood. 

Cisgendered perspective and all that,  but here it is for what it's worth.

Hag

The woman who lives in my soul
doesn't play in the minor
nights I am kept awake by
the crashing
and giddy laughter
as she flings the kitchen pots around my bed
and whittles my lipsticks down to stumps

I have found her on occasion
hiding spirits in my throat
used spirits
borrowed from the silent
the ones she has tickled into laughter
or tricked into lecture

she perches beside my ears
to assay the minute
the doubts that have lingered
she drowns them out with her banshee wails
or party horns

I have hidden her in the sock drawer
left her on doorsteps
basketed and blanketed
another war orphan
from the battles of love
the endless devotion of dedicated matriarchs

but then I find her
one leg hooked about each of my ears again
holding onto my hair for dear life
chittering in her ragged voice

when lovers roll over in my bed
she kicks me with pointy boots
yelps goon faced underneath my nylons
with her razor nails drawn
slashing loudly and then
mewling like a cat flung towards the sea


I have ignored her
spent hours talking her into sleep
and then covering her with a pillow
I have stabbed her through
with crochet hooks
slapped her silly with
wooden spoons



but

I can ignite a fire with my hair
and my voice is in the smooth tradition
of water washed stones
and the very thought of her
sends my hands rushing like
flocking birds
I am listening to her now....

Oh so very beoutiful !