16 and stuck.

PrinceRyan · December 03, 2015, 08:45:31 PM

My name is Rayne I actually JUST stumbled across this website looking for more information. I'm 16 years old. Junior in high school. Female, but I like to be addressed as a Male so to say. I'm just not comfortable with my gender. AT ALL. Of course I get asked a lot of uncomfortable questions and talked about ever day but, Frankly I don't care. To keep it short I want to be a boy. I want to feel like one. I want to be one. I've tried over and over again to put this thought in the back of my head and just play happy, but the truth is I'm not and haven't been for a while.. and to add to that money has always been an issue with my family, Having to go without a lot of things and sometimes even food or the stress of moving because we can't afford a house no more. I know transitioning is money consuming, which is another thing that's been preventing me. I don't mean to come across selfish.. I just want to be happy and comfortable. Tired of the sleepless nights, dwelling thoughts with anger and frustration, hatred of myself because I can't find love within my own skin. I've been feeling this way for a while now and I couldn't understand why just until last year. I just stopped venturing into the idea of it due to circumstances.. But I just really can't push back my desire, my yearn for happiness no longer. I'd really appreciate it if anybody could talk to me, give me information as in to how to even go about this, and the process.. I just need some guidance/help.

haeden · December 03, 2015, 09:03:32 PM

I'm new too but from people have told me you need to talk to someone. Since therapy can be expensive even if you have insurance why not try the school counselor? they may be able to help. Does your school have an lgbt group? mine did and it was pretty fun place to go after school

PrinceRyan · December 03, 2015, 09:18:59 PM

Quote from: haeden on December 03, 2015, 09:03:32 PM
I'm new too but from people have told me you need to talk to someone. Since therapy can be expensive even if you have insurance why not try the school counselor? they may be able to help. Does your school have an lgbt group? mine did and it was pretty fun place to go after school

I live in Alabama. A very small part of Alabama and my school is very small. Everyone knows each other on some sort of personal level. This is also the first year I'll be able to go to prom with a female because before they didn't ''condone'' it. So I guess that answers your question as to a lgbt group. Lol no we do not. Thanks for your response, not very many are fond to newcomers I see.

BrennanWasHere · December 03, 2015, 09:23:14 PM

Coming out and transitioning in high school can be scary, but you'll get through it. The biggest thing you need to do right now is find people that support you and learn to drown out the people that don't. Whether its friends, family, or anyone else you need to start building yourself up a support system full of people who love you for you. Like haeden said, going to an LGBT or GSA group at your school is a good place to start. Come out of the closet to people as you're comfortable, and don't feel obligated to come out to anyone if you aren't comfortable. Also, transition at your own pace and it doesn't have to be medically. Whether its cutting your hair, dressing more masculine, binding, or packing, these are all ways to start feeling comfortable with yourself and start transitioning that won't necessarily cost you an arm and a leg. You'll make it man, and I'm 16 as well so feel free to message me if you'd like. 🙂

PrinceRyan · December 03, 2015, 09:40:10 PM

Quote from: BrennanWasHere on December 03, 2015, 09:23:14 PM
Coming out and transitioning in high school can be scary, but you'll get through it. The biggest thing you need to do right now is find people that support you and learn to drown out the people that don't. Whether its friends, family, or anyone else you need to start building yourself up a support system full of people who love you for you. Like haeden said, going to an LGBT or GSA group at your school is a good place to start. Come out of the closet to people as you're comfortable, and don't feel obligated to come out to anyone if you aren't comfortable. Also, transition at your own pace and it doesn't have to be medically. Whether its cutting your hair, dressing more masculine, binding, or packing, these are all ways to start feeling comfortable with yourself and start transitioning that won't necessarily cost you an arm and a leg. You'll make it man, and I'm 16 as well so feel free to message me if you'd like.

Thank you for your hospitality! I've actually came out to everyone and very open as to how I feel. Sometimes I get addressed as what I like and others just come with jokes which I tend to over look but it's hard being embarrassed infront of a whole class or group ya know? Bad enough I'm uncomfortable with myself, why must you put me in a even more uncomfortable position by not only broadcasting my insecurities but laughing and making jokes about it too. Hey, that's just something I'll always have to deal with for me being who I am. I accept it. You're right though I've done and do all those things, but still sit up at night thinking ''this just isn't enough'' Still not satisfied with myself.

haeden · December 04, 2015, 10:57:43 AM

Yeah I live in Georgia and my first high school definitely was not as accepting as my second one. The one I graduated from was actually known to have a lot of gay students and we even had an mtf. So I definitely lucked out. This place is a great place to find out more about being trans and stuff. Try adding more tags to post next time. I'll add some more for you! if you can't find support in your real life find it here then. We can learn together!

PrinceRyan · December 04, 2015, 11:15:47 AM

Quote from: haeden on December 04, 2015, 10:57:43 AM
Yeah I live in Georgia and my first high school definitely was not as accepting as my second one. The one I graduated from was actually known to have a lot of gay students and we even had an mtf. So I definitely lucked out. This place is a great place to find out more about being trans and stuff. Try adding more tags to post next time. I'll add some more for you! if you can't find support in your real life find it here then. We can learn together!

What part of Georgia if you don't mind me asking? That's really awesome though and thanks, I would really appreciate it if you could do that for me!

haeden · December 04, 2015, 05:57:04 PM

I live in Marietta but went to high school in Gwinnett county so both are pretty close to Atlanta so that might be the reason for the fairly openness. I added some tags for you hope they work out!