What made you unhappy today? 7.0

[Lori Dee ✅]

Sorry to hear that, Chrissy. But I know you well enough to know that nothing keeps you down. I hope things improve for you very soon. You deserve it.

Hugs!

[ChrissyRyan]

Sorry to hear that, Chrissy. But I know you well enough to know that nothing keeps you down. I hope things improve for you very soon. You deserve it.

Hugs!

It has to do with transitioning matters.

I will need to try to get some "me time" to think about this.

It looks as if I may need to make some choices.
Maybe it will work out in the long run. 

All well. 


Chrissy

[Lori Dee ✅]

It has to do with transitioning matters.

I will need to try to get some "me time" to think about this.

It looks as if I may need to make some choices.
Maybe it will work out in the long run. 

All well. 


Chrissy

If you need help with thinking things through, I'm here for you. If you just need time to figure things out, that's ok too. You know what is best for you. You'll get through this.

GIANT HUGS!

[Charlotte_Ringwood]

Really it's work stress...projects having problems...long hours away from home and my partner overnight. These times feel like they won't end and feeling like you are alive is near impossible.

So close to having a breakdown again!

I long for a time where I have some peace again and can enjoy being me.

[Lori Dee ✅]

It will happen.
Relax and breathe.

Sending you

BIG HUGS!

[NikkiM]

A couple students decided to disrupt my class and be disrespectful to me. Called me transphobic slurs and that made the principal really mad including their parents. I do not want them in my class anymore and they are talking expelling them. Currently suspended for 10 days and an expulsion hearing is going to be scheduled. Talked to the counselor and she knows a good therapist to talk to I made an appointment with. Shaken up from it and told my husband what happened, he has been there for support. Staff and the principal have been there for me too, They had problems with them too

[Sephirah]

A couple students decided to disrupt my class and be disrespectful to me. Called me transphobic slurs and that made the principal really mad including their parents. I do not want them in my class anymore and they are talking expelling them. Currently suspended for 10 days and an expulsion hearing is going to be scheduled. Talked to the counselor and she knows a good therapist to talk to I made an appointment with. Shaken up from it and told my husband what happened, he has been there for support. Staff and the principal have been there for me too, They had problems with them too

I am sorry to hear that, Nikki. Kids can be horribly cruel because they haven't got the life experience yet to teach them why it's a good idea to not be. Is why so many folks suffer bullying issues during childhood.

I think maybe a better course would be to educate these young people on what being trans actually means and what differences between people actually mean for everyone else, rather than just expelling them from an educational environment. I am not sure they'll want to learn, but maybe they should be given the chance. Being angry with kids is like water off a duck's back at that age, as it were. A lot see it as a badge of honour.

The important thing to realise, Nikki, is that this says more about these people than it does you. I know that's hard to accept when you're going through it. It erodes your self-esteem. But I'm going to say it anyway. You have to try and look at every experience from not only your own perspective, but from the perspective of the other people involved.

Did these people feel like their peers would respect them more if they did this? If so, why? Maybe they felt insecure within themselves and thought the only way they could get some measure of respect was to try to make you feel bad. Not trying to be your therapist here, honey, just to... I don't know, help you shift your perspective maybe so it doesn't affect you so much.

A vast majority of what we experience from others is not based on you at all. It's based on the person themselves and what they are going through. Kids especially are often going through a very tough time. Trying to fit in, find themselves etc. And they do some really dumb s**t because they feel it will garner respect.

If anything, Nikki, as a teacher, they need more education than anger and retaliation. Punishment does nothing if someone doesn't understand why they are being punished.

massive hugs This has likely very little to do with you, honey, and I hope you can find a way to not take it that way.

[NikkiM]

I am sorry to hear that, Nikki. Kids can be horribly cruel because they haven't got the life experience yet to teach them why it's a good idea to not be. Is why so many folks suffer bullying issues during childhood.

I think maybe a better course would be to educate these young people on what being trans actually means and what differences between people actually mean for everyone else, rather than just expelling them from an educational environment. I am not sure they'll want to learn, but maybe they should be given the chance. Being angry with kids is like water off a duck's back at that age, as it were. A lot see it as a badge of honour.

The important thing to realise, Nikki, is that this says more about these people than it does you. I know that's hard to accept when you're going through it. It erodes your self-esteem. But I'm going to say it anyway. You have to try and look at every experience from not only your own perspective, but from the perspective of the other people involved.

Did these people feel like their peers would respect them more if they did this? If so, why? Maybe they felt insecure within themselves and thought the only way they could get some measure of respect was to try to make you feel bad. Not trying to be your therapist here, honey, just to... I don't know, help you shift your perspective maybe so it doesn't affect you so much.

A vast majority of what we experience from others is not based on you at all. It's based on the person themselves and what they are going through. Kids especially are often going through a very tough time. Trying to fit in, find themselves etc. And they do some really dumb s**t because they feel it will garner respect.

If anything, Nikki, as a teacher, they need more education than anger and retaliation. Punishment does nothing if someone doesn't understand why they are being punished.

massive hugs This has likely very little to do with you, honey, and I hope you can find a way to not take it that way.

Did this to a couple transgender students this too before and the principal had enough.

[Charlotte_Ringwood]

A couple students decided to disrupt my class and be disrespectful to me. Called me transphobic slurs and that made the principal really mad including their parents. I do not want them in my class anymore and they are talking expelling them. Currently suspended for 10 days and an expulsion hearing is going to be scheduled. Talked to the counselor and she knows a good therapist to talk to I made an appointment with. Shaken up from it and told my husband what happened, he has been there for support. Staff and the principal have been there for me too, They had problems with them too

So sad and sorry to hear this. I expect it's exacerbated by the fact that they disrupted your class and delivered this is such a public way.

I'm glad it's being taken seriously which is much of what you can ask for really. As others have said these behaviors are non specific to you as a person and just replication of anti trans slurs learnt from other places. It's still tough though...had this myself from kids at bus stops, in McDonald's and such before and taken it to heart. So I get it has a negative effect on you.

However I think that a lot of people are actually really nice and decent. It's the few that are the loudest and try hardest to spread this hate. Sometimes people pick this up and proliferate, often due to lack of education.

As others have said I think education is the way forwards and hopefully these perpetrators will get this and eventually grow. As a person I think you attending everyday, doing a good job and showing strength has such a positive effect on those that pass by you in life. These people will gain positive view of trans people and pass this on. So hundreds of people will grow and thrive as good people because of you.

Charlotte 😻

[ChrissyRyan]

I have been crying this evening.  Plus on other days recently.  I am okay though, really.
I do not want to talk about any of this right now.

I hope everyone has been okay.


Hugs,


Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

It is hard, even if you are generally an unselfish person, to have your transitioning journey somehow conditional on the approval of others.  What I mean is some people may not like some aspects of your transitioning for some reason, and if you wish to please them that can mean your transitioning never got started, or becomes stalled, retreats somewhat, or goes backward so far it ends.  It means you want to retain some relationships and that can be a big sacrifice, but you do have the rewards of those relationships continuing (on their terms, but you agree to them).  Or you say too bad for the loss of relationships, continue with your transitioning, and maybe you will have new accepting relationships over time. 

But many of us want it all, the existing and whatever new relationships develop over time.

Such decisions can contribute to you becoming unhappy, no matter what you decide to do.
The decision making process itself s*cks.

Of course, the biggest thing one must do is to accept yourself.  Then after that, you may have to decide how others influence your transitioning.

We are social creatures.  Almost all of us want to have meaningful relationships.

Chrissy

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

  @ChrissyRyan

Dear Chrissy:
I so sorry to read of your posted unhappiness regarding your relationship(s).

I fully agree with your last few sentences in you posting reply on this thread:

      Of course, the biggest thing one must do is to accept yourself. 
      Then after that, you may have to decide how others influence your transitioning.

      We are social creatures.  Almost all of us want to have meaningful relationships.

I trust and hope that you can eventually find happiness in your future relationship endeavors.
      ❤️
Many HUGS,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

[Jessica_Rose ✅]

It's a shame that so many people seem to be fixated on someone's genitals rather than their soul. How can one person claim to love another while forcing them to hide their truth? True love, even true friendship, means you want others to find happiness. Your happiness should not depend on the approval of others. However, that seems to be reality for many of us. We all make compromises while threading our way through the fabric of life.

I hope you can find happiness, Christine.

Love always -- Jess

[Lori Dee ✅]

We are social creatures.  Almost all of us want to have meaningful relationships.

This is very true, Chrissy.

But the question I had to ask myself is: "At what cost?" How meaningful is a relationship where not everyone can relax, be themselves, and be happy? Is that a good relationship if one side gets cheated while the other side gets what they want?

If all parties involved cannot be open and honest, feel they must hide part of themselves, or cannot feel free to express themselves for any reason, is that really a worthwhile goal?

In all of my relationships, and through three marriages, I have always said that it must be equal, a 50/50 partnership, or it doesn't work. There must be trust and honesty on all sides.

People are social animals, but they also change over time. Circumstances change and force us to change to adapt to the situation. It isn't always easy, and very often it is painful. That doesn't make it any less necessary. Change helps us grow.

When we carry a lot of baggage from our past, it slows us down. These things gave us comfort in the past, so we hesitate to abandon them. But if they serve no purpose in the future, why carry them? Keep moving forward. If others want to come with you, that is wonderful; they can help carry the load instead of being the load.

The rearview mirrors are small because you are not going that way. Focus on what is ahead of you. You are a very warm, sweet, and caring person, whether you transition or not. There will be people in your life who will see that and treasure you for it, and you won't have to force them to stay.