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Not Feminine enough?

Started by tammy753, June 05, 2026, 03:09:21 PM

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tammy753

#40
They were looking directly at me and I don't understand why they would be yelling at me I was never even close to them. I surprisingly not to upset like I would have been in the past. I think I am starting to come to the point that I need to stop letting other people have the power over me. But its not a fun experience to have people yelling at you when you don't even know them and have never interacted with them.

Petunia

Krista, everytime you write something it is something I could have written.

Of all the girls here your story is the closest to mine.

My wife doesn't want me outside crossdressed because of 1. safety and 2. embarrasment if I get seen by someone who knows me.

The city I live in had a big problem years ago with gay bashings and murders.
It's not that bad now but as the right wing becomes more popular there has been a rise in anti queer community rhetoric.

I am going to be embarrased when some of my old friends find out about me, but for now I have actually walked past a few of them and not been recognised.
And then one day you stop to find,
10 years have got behind you,
no one told you when to run,
you missed the starting gun

Petunia

Tammy, I feel for you having to put up with idiots like that.

It's obvious the kid has imbeciles for parents. They have bred hatred.

If you are able to walk away unhurt then you are the winner.

There are plenty of other people wasting space in the world so it's pointless wasting time thinking about them.

Just be safe

And then one day you stop to find,
10 years have got behind you,
no one told you when to run,
you missed the starting gun
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tammy753

The more I think about it the more defiant I feel. That song I posted keeps running through my head:

"I will do it like I can
Right in your face"

Not sure I am that brave but I am feeling tired of letting other people tell me how to live. I hope I can build on this feeling.

KristaFairchild

Quote from: tammy753 on June 15, 2026, 12:03:27 PMMy therapist keeps promising I will reach that point of not caring. I hope she is right.

I hope to get this attitude

That's the common pattern. Holding steady as internal and external forces affect us isn't easy, but it usually works 

Sephirah

Courage and bravery isn't being fearless. It isn't when you just don't give a damn and nothing can touch you. Being courageous and brave is when you see the weaknesses you have, when things scare you to death, but you make the choice to not let them stop you. When everything inside you is screaming at you to not do something... but you do it anyway. That's bravery, Tammy.

And you, like everyone, I think, has that capacity.

You will get people who will treat you that way, Tammy. Because it is more about them than it is about you. And nothing you could do would likely get them to change the way they behave. The way we all are with everyone else is more about who we are than who they are. We project our own emotional baggage and our own perspective onto the world around us. If you hadn't been there... the person who was there in your stead would probably have gotten the exact same outcome.

You can't control how the world is with you. Only how you are with the world, sweetie. You can't out-perfect someone else's emotional damage. You just accept it and move on. See it for what it is.

I think you are more courageous than you give yourself credit for.