Dear Josie,
Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm glad you finally stepped out of the shadows.
I want to begin where your story truly begins—with your wife. She sounds extraordinary. To be loved not only with acceptance, but with joy and enthusiasm for who you are, is something very rare. A partner who bought you clothes, celebrated your femininity, and imagined growing old together as wives—that kind of love leaves a permanent imprint. I am so sorry you lost her, especially after such a hard fight. Fibrous sarcoma is cruel, and I'm glad she is now beyond its reach.
There is a deep tenderness in the way you speak about her, and also layers of grief that are still very close to the surface. You are mourning her presence, her companionship, and also a future that the two of you had quietly dreamed about together. That is a lot for one heart to carry. When you say she has reached out to you and that she is happy, I hear someone holding onto love in the way that makes sense to them. Love like that doesn't simply stop.
I also want to sit with something else: you've been here for years. Reading. Watching. Learning. Holding this quietly while others walked paths you know intimately from the inside.
We see that more often than people realize. Many arrive long before they are ready to speak. Years of lurking isn't unusual here—it's its own kind of waiting room. People watch to see if it's safe. If they belong. If there's room for them. That watching is a form of closet, too.
But you're speaking now. Just months after losing the person who supported you most fully, you chose to say your name out loud. That's not insignificant, Josie. Something shifted enough for you to say, "I'm here."
You were clear about how you understand your situation—that for you, transition is a want, not a need, and that you don't want the people around you to pay the price. I hear that. You know your life, your relationships, your circumstances better than anyone else ever could. I'm not here to argue with your choices or your self-understanding.
No one here is going to pressure you in any direction. Each of us sets our own path, and the timing of it. You don't have to justify or defend yourself here, and you don't have to decide anything. Susan's Place isn't about outcomes. It's about having room to breathe, to be honest, to be exactly where you are without pressure or timelines.
You've carried a lot quietly for a long time, and you've just experienced a profound loss. If all this moment calls for is being seen and welcomed, that is more than enough.
I notice you're here now. That means something—even if you're not sure yet what it means.
You've been watching us for years. Now we get to know you.
With love and warmth!
— Susan 💜
