What is your motivational ratio for being trans?

[Chrissty]

Sex 40
Sexuality 20
Gender 40

Current situation ~Age 51, TS recognised in the last 2 years, in therapy only, trying not to come-out or transition, married 20+ years with 2 teenage children, UK business manager. :🙂

My motivations are almost flat across the board, but I'm pretty sure my wife is not lesbian, so my Sexuality score is reduced.

My body shape has always had feminine traits, which I have been self concious of when trying to buy male clothes, or swimming. 

Chrissty

[Fer]

50 gender
50 sex
0 sexuality
Post Merge: May 16, 2009, 05:37:01 PM
EDIT:  I'd misread your post Gina. 

50 gender
50 sex
0 sexuality

[stacyB]

I would have to rate mine:

Sex: 45
Gender: 45
Sexuality: 10

First and foremost I want my sex to match my wiring. I have always been and always will be a woman, plain and simple.

Gender is second because so much of living as a woman is society and socially based, and that ration would change based on time in history and locale. I think few of us MtF would wish to live some secondary subservient life like that of some societies where woman are not even regarded as significant, let alone equal.

Sexuality would be last because I have always been attacted to woman, and would continue to look for a woman for a relationship. So nothing would change remarkably except the sexual orientation of my partner, since mine would not change.

Transition info: I started transition years ago with hormones, finances and circumstances prevented me from going further, so I stopped. Have a second chance now so hope to be starting again.

[Michelle.]

Sex:39
Sexuality:20
Gender:41

I would place gender first. In my head I'm a girl. Always have been, always will be a girl. Thank God I was born in the US, where all people are supposed to be "judged by the content of their character-MLK." As far as what you might call "gender type casting." I'm a girlie-girl, ultra-fem' and darn proud of it thank you very much. 😘
The 40% is first, because how society precieves me is important to me. I should probably take my narcissism to the confessional thread.

Regarding "sex," I want the physical body and body parts that match my gender. I place this at 39% because in the end it is just as important to gender for me, however I know that HRT and eventual surgeries take time. Therefore I foresee gender precedding sex.

Sexuality, the 20% is understated. However I never as a "guy" was the type to just jump in bed with just anyone, male or female. As far as "sexuality" goes I can envision having a sexual relationship with a man, in that regards I am bisexual. However after having lived as a male and listiening to how males in general regard women, I am trending to not wanting to be with one in an LTR. As far as LTR's go, I guess I really am a lesbian trapped in a mans body. For penetrive sex, thats what the toy section at the adult book store must be for.

Vitals: Pre- just about everything M2F. Escape plan in revision process!!!. Age 33. Darn this slow economy. Time to add, go back to university to that master plan I mentioned. 😛

Mich'

[Carolyn]

Sex: 50
Sexuality: 0
Gender: 50

I am female, though and though, It is as simple as that, I desire to be seen as that in this world with no question. So Sex and Gender are the equally important, If for some reason I could never get SRS, My boyfriend and I would be upset but it wouldn't stop us from being with each other which is why Sexuality is zero. All I am and All I ever will be is female.

[GinaDouglas]

Some of us are not  "trans" anymore.  "Trans" was never "my identity", female/woman is what I've always been.  Transsexualism was an illness which I have already cured. How did I cure it?  Through transition and SRS.  What motivated me to transition and have SRS? I already said it on the other board, the need to be complete, the necessity to match my anatomical genitalia with my neurological gender.

This is a debate that has been kicking around for a while.  My view on it is that a person can't cure his/her history of experience, so once trans, always trans.


^{edit- please review the TOS}

[Cindy]

I thought through this for the last 24hrs or so.

I would have to go for 34/33/33 . I'm female, I want to nest and have a family, I want my man to make love to me and to be sexually happy. I'm happy to please him when I don't feel aroused.  I want to look after my home, my kids, my man. And I'm going to cry.

Cindy. Not coping for a change

[Lori]

This is a debate that has been kicking around for a while.  My view on it is that a person can't cure his/her history of experience, so once trans, always trans.

However, if you really believe what you say, then, technically, you shouldn't be posting in this forum, the way I understand the rules.  This part of the forums is for transsexuals, and if you truly believe what you say, you should resign from the group that is authorized to post in this area.

So why are you posting here?

Are you saying there is no cure for this at all? We will always be trans? I'm curious as to why you feel this way. Or why your views are fixated in that direction.

[Jeannette]

This is a debate that has been kicking around for a while.  My view on it is that a person can't cure his/her history of experience, so once trans, always trans.

Don't agree.  I think only the peeps that know this are those who've been thru transition & GRS. All I can say is that from experience transition & surgery are life changing & the process is a major event for those that go thru it, that can have an impact on our views & personality. 

However, if you really believe what you say, then, technically, you shouldn't be posting in this forum, the way I understand the rules.  This part of the forums is for transsexuals, and if you truly believe what you say, you should resign from the group that is authorized to post in this area.

Maybe I shouldn't be posting here either since I don't agree with you & don't see myself as trans either.  Don't mean to offend but by the site rules only Susan & her staff can tell peeps to leave or not to post.

[Teknoir]

Interesting concept you have there.

Sex : 70
Sexuality : 5
Gender : 25

Like many others I seek to align the physical and the mental - this is my top priority. My concept of self is important to me, and I'd like to bring that from a mental image into reality.

Sexuality isn't a big issue for me as disgust in the body I have is preventing all related functioning - but it'd be nice to know what all the hype is about for once (token 5 for curiosity)!

While I don't care much about the opinions of others, being seen as female makes me bitter and angry.  I'm not "one of the women", an example of "progress", "feminism", or "equal oppertunities" to be held up and put on display. I'm sure as hell not "doing it for the sisters" or "sticking it to the man". Gender has a higher than I'd expect importance to me on the basis that it is imparing my life functioning (work, social, etc).

For the background - 25, FTM, starting to transition. In the process of coming out - told some family, presenting as male in all public settings including job interviews, pre therapy / treatment / name change due to lack of funds.  Has fit into typical male gender roles since early childhood (fixes up cars, heavily into tech / Linux / IT).


Good luck with your research, Gina. No matter if your thesis is proven or disproven, research in the area of transgender / transsexual issues is never a bad thing 🙂.

[Alyssa M.]

Maybe you should all quit arguing about this. It's done to death and always leads to grief. Matilda, fine, I sympathize with your view, though I don't completely share it. But this is a "Susan's Place Transgender Resources;" whatever you might think about the language, that's what's used here, as defined in the wiki. Everyone has a different opinionabout this; nevertheless, despite your gripes about the wording, the question was valid.

[Natasha]

"once trans always trans

my left....breast! :🙂 defining yourself as you like is ok, implying everybody is 'always trans' isn't.

from my sig: Identification of those who have fully transitioned as "trans-anything" is at best demeaning and at worst deceptive.

just so you know, fully transitioned equals post grs

[Mister]

my left....breast! :🙂 defining yourself as you like is ok, implying everybody is 'always trans' isn't.

from my sig: Identification of those who have fully transitioned as "trans-anything" is at best demeaning and at worst deceptive.

just so you know, fully transitioned equals post grs

agreed.  as I have said time and time again-- some TS people consider themselves as having a medical condition while others consider themselves the bearers of a cultural identity.  Labeling someone else is pretty damn uncouth.
Post Merge: May 18, 2009, 02:50:19 AM

I would have to go for 34/33/33 .

Which one gets the 34?  For a second, I thought you were going to bring out the decimals. 🙂

[Cindy]

Quote from: CindyJames on Yesterday at 06:15:15 am
I would have to go for 34/33/33 .


Which one gets the 34?  For a second, I thought you were going to bring out the decimals.


Damn, didn't think of that

[GinaDouglas]

Sexuality isn't a big issue for me as disgust in the body I have is preventing all related functioning - but it'd be nice to know what all the hype is about for once (token 5 for curiosity)!

It seems to me that if disgust with your body interferes with your sex drive, then with a right body you would be more interested in sex.  If that's the case, then your sex modality ratio would be higher.

[MaggieB]

I am similar to Sandy

75 gender
15 sex
10 sexuality

We spend most of our waking lives dealing with other people. How I am perceived with them is important to me. I detest being called a guy or being included in male bonding.  Not anymore.   On the other hand, it is a new challenge to deal with being dismissed because I am a woman. While I knew that was going to be an issue, I didn't see it being so dominant.


Maggie

[Teknoir]

It seems to me that if disgust with your body interferes with your sex drive, then with a right body you would be more interested in sex.  If that's the case, then your sex modality ratio would be higher.

Maybe post transition the drive will appear (I am curious to see if it does - that's why it's not flat 0), but as it's a non-entity right now it's not a motivation to transition. Missing the drive does not concern me as I have enough distractions to keep me amused.

I've noticed quite low sexuality scores in general. Perhaps that's due to us having to face issues of sex and gender more frequantly than sexuality? 

That said, I have to wonder if there's another split between gender and sex based on more of an introvert / extravert thing (eg, introverted people giving higher precedence to sex, extraverts more of a 50 / 50 split).

[Inanna]

Definitely my own body image first, then with my gender being fairly important in its own ways, just not quite the same.

Put it this way - let's say I was given the choice between two opposites: one potion that makes me completely physically female, yet outside my abode I must wear male clothing, binding, and act manly enough to pass male; or another one that makes my own eyes perceive my body as fully male, yet in reality becoming the most beautiful, heavenly girl to ever walk among mere mortals, exuding feminine charm, being the desire of most men and the envy of most women.

I'd pick the first one without another thought.  Don't get me wrong, though, I'd have it both ways if I could. 

As for sexuality... it hardly crosses my mind.  As long as I'm with the person I truly love, then I'm happy.  🙂

[GinaDouglas]

I think the potion-choice concept is an interesting way to get at this.  But I don't think your potions really get at it.

The way I see it, for FtMs, the potion representing sexuality would be, you always see yourself as female, but others see you as male, including sex partners.  The sexuality potion would be you are only female when you have sex.  The gender potion would be you always see yourself as male in private, except you would see yourself as female when you were getting ready to go out, and everyone sees you as female in public, yourself included; but you would be male during sex.

But remember, the whole point is about ratios, so you wouldn't have to choose one potion exclusive of the others.  Just how much you would like having each potion, in comparison to the others.

The thing is, when I put it this way, it changes my scores.  I'd hate the sex potion, but would like the sexuality potion almost as much as the gender potion.  So I'd be something like -10/50/60.

Curiouser and curiouser.

[Miniar]

The reason why I don't put any points into sexuality is because I'm already married to a man that treats my tiny little guy as a penis, and me as a man, and so, I'm quite content in that aspect.