I had enough voice lessons to know that I would never have a feminine voice. I have raised my default pitch a little: half an octave, when a full octave was what I would have needed. And I modulate my voice better for a more feminine inflection. It is enough to not be jarring in person, where my visual presentation gives people enough clues as to the impression I am going for.
But on the phone, it's a lost cause. You can't do anything about the natural resonances of your sinus cavities, and that's what people hear on the phone. I get "sir"-ed a lot, especially by telemarketers whose script requires them to insert an honorific in every second sentence. I have had to interrupt them and insist that they call me ma'am. It doesn't always work.
When a business I have an account with calls, they ask to speak to Kathleen. I tell them that that is me, and there is always a pause while they recalculate. Sometimes, they ask incredulously: "You're Kathleen???" I try to convey as much exasperation as possible when I acknowledge that, yes, I am.
When I am the one placing the call, I do introduce myself properly, and I get fewer problems that way.
