Coming out on Facebook status

[AbeLane]

So I wanted to post this here for two reason. A) When I was trying to come up with the phrasing on how to work this, I looked around at a lot of what other people had used (either in this site or others) and I just wanted to pay it forward and give others another example to work from. And B) In case you all have any advice/support on if it sounds right.

Just so you know the only people I'm really out to are my close friends (I don't have any contact with my biological family these days, but I am Facebook friends with some relatives). So that means that for many people this will be the first time they hear this from me. So I wanted to be clear and forward with my explanation.

So here it is. I'm still debating on whether to post it soon, or to try to wait out the semester and put it up at the start of the summer.

"Dear Facebook friends and family:

You may have noticed I've changed my name and I just wanted to explain why.

I'm transgender.

This means that even though I was born biologically female, on the inside I feel like a male. I've decided that I want to start transitioning medically and legally to make the outside match how I feel inside. This is not a decision that I'm making lightly. I've felt this way for a very long time.

While Abraham "Abe" is not my legal name yet, I hope that you can respect my wishes and start calling me by my chosen name. Also I'm a he, not a she. Please respect that as well.

I know that a lot of you have known me as a girl named [birthname] for a long time. So please know I'm not expecting this change to happen overnight. Transitioning is a process and I expect to be in Abe/[birthname] limbo for a time while we all adjust. I only ask that you make the effort.

If you have any mature questions, feel free talk to me or write me a message. I hope that I can count on you for your support."

[PhoenixGurl2016]

O I like your writing. Post it when you are ready. 🙂 I will be coming out on May 1st myself and do not know how I am going to word it yet.


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[Julia-Madrid]

Hello Abe

This is an extremely well-written coming-out post for Facebook.  I was reflecting on how necessary it is to use Facebook as part of our transition, and I think your post hits the spot just right. 

You'll know when the time is right to put it online, and be ready for a flood of support.  People are truly in awe of us for taking such fundamental control of our lives:  many people wish they could put some deep desire - whatever it may be -  into action.  Unlike them, we do it.

Good luck
Julia

[FTMax]

Sounds good! Good luck 🙂

[barbie]

Yes. Facebook is a very nice place and medium to come out.
In my case, I have not mentioned or written on transgender, but all of my Facebook friends know who I am. I just post my photos in Facebook, without mentioning such nouns like transgender, crossdress and etc, which I do not think are so much important in my life or to my friends.

barbie~~

[JulianWS]

Looks good, buddy! It's very clear and well written.  I like how upfront and firm you are about stating who you are and what you want from them.  I might have to use yours as inspiration when I get ready to do the same.  I find it hard to stand up for myself when I know there could be a negative outcome looming, so it's refreshing and inspiring to read your approach.  Hope you are doing well 🙂

[AbeLane]

Thanks everyone!

I posted it up this morning and I have gotten so much positive feedback! There are some people I'm sure I'll get a little backlash from, but still it's nice to be out.

I just feel like I'd reached the point where it took more strength to hold it in than it did to just tell everyone.

[Mariah ✅]

I know that feeling, but in the end the relief of being out out ways what's coming next. Congrats and I'm glad they have been supportive. Hopefully the others who you feel may not be as supportive surprise you and are as supportive as the rest. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

Thanks everyone!

I posted it up this morning and I have gotten so much positive feedback! There are some people I'm sure I'll get a little backlash from, but still it's nice to be out.

I just feel like I'd reached the point where it took more strength to hold it in than it did to just tell everyone.

[Ian68]

Hi Abe,

Congratulations!  I also officially "came out" on Facebook recently (last year).  I've tried to find the post but it's buried somewhere among the subsequent rants, haha...  Basically, my "coming out" post was in the form of a shared link about discrimination against transgender women.  After a lengthy rant about sexism and transphobia, I put something along the lines of "by the way, this is effectively me telling everyone that I'm transgender - hence why my gender marker has finally been set (after I never set it) as 'transgender male.'  OK.  Cool.  Now onto other, more important things..."

I didn't get any negative comments.  I did get a couple of ambiguous "it doesn't matter what you are" responses from some relatives, but absolutely no one was surprised (early transitioning has that bonus, I guess).  I did get a good number of positive comments about my post but mostly no one said anything about my "coming out" because it was too much of a 'duh' moment.  😀