Parents misconceptions on passing

[Bari Jo]

I'm not sure about putting this here or somewhere else.  I'm posting this outside my own thread since my mom has my thread bookmarked so she can follow along.  Anyway, I had a conversation with my mom about Jonnie Weir and how she thinks he's transitioning.  If he was, he'd certainly have a better base than me.  However, she goes on to how he acts, behaves, too feminine and vulnerable.  Granted I haven't seen him recently on TV, so I can't say if he's presenting or acting differently, but is this what people expect from trans people?  I had to tell her there might be those of us like that, but I'm not one of them.  I just want to be perceived and treated like a normal girl.  The conversation still echos in my mind.  If this is coming from my mom, what do people outside my circle think?

Bari Jo

[Gertrude]

What experience does she have with people that transition? TV and you. You could get her books written by folks about their lives and transition, maybe there are better tv shows, you tube channels,introduce her to others in transition if that's possible or show her yourself. Maybe she can look at the before and after section.


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[Bari Jo]

What experience does she have with people that transition? TV and you. You could get her books written by folks about their lives and transition, maybe there are better tv shows, you tube channels,introduce her to others in transition if that's possible or show her yourself. Maybe she can look at the before and after section.


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Shes got precious little experience with trans people.  I think movies are good, but I don't know what to recommend.  I actively avoided all movies with a remotely trans person in it, being in denial for so long.  I may bring her to group therapy if that doesn't make her too uncomfortable.  I want to show that people can pass without being a stereotype.  At least that's my goal.

Bari Jo

[Deborah]

I want to show that people can pass without being a stereotype.  At least that's my goal.

Bari Jo

Yes they can.  I regularly pass in gym clothes (androgynous at best) and without any makeup despite the fact that I do powerlifting three times a week and have nothing like the skinny emaciated look that many strive for. 



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[Allison S]

Did she say that helps Jonnie Weir pass as female though? It just sounds like she made an off the cuff comment. I'd be concerned if she told you how to act to be womanly. Otherwise commentary is just that and should be taken with a grain of salt. Of course you care what your mom says but reading about how accepting and loving she is when you came out- you have nothing to worry about with her. But it's okay to ask her for reassurance again! That's something we all need sometimes.

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[Bari Jo]

Did she say that helps Jonnie Weir pass as female though? It just sounds like she made an off the cuff comment. I'd be concerned if she told you how to act to be womanly. Otherwise commentary is just that and should be taken with a grain of salt. Of course you care what your mom says but reading about how accepting and loving she is when you came out- you have nothing to worry about with her. But it's okay to ask her for reassurance again! That's something we all need sometimes.

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Thanks Allison, I don't think she's being unsupportive.  I believe she thinks trans people act the way he does or at least it was possible that I would go that route.  I think I need to expose her to more trans people.

Bari Jo

[HappyMoni]

   There is so much ignorance in the general population. I sometimes wonder how I am perceived by certain people. It is a catch 22 for me. I don't like the thought of being thought of as a feminine man or a cross dresser. That is not what I am. I would prefer to be regarded as a woman or a trans woman yet I don't want to have to tell people that is what I am. I wish people were more informed. At least in this case Bari Jo, you can educate Mom.
Moni

[Maria77]

Jonny Weir is a lightening rod and most str8 people don't understand that campy queens like Jonny. you might want to research where Jonny is on the spectrum these days, because sometimes gay men and lesbians realize that they are trans later in the game.  Carmen Carrera is a good example.