Hi,
I wrestled with myself for years, I did not wrestle with God.  I prayed, I listened, I transitioned.  I grew closer to God through Christ.  I didn't know why I was the way I was but it didn't matter.  Everyday, I know I made the right choice.  I am whole.
Then one day I was talking to my psych and the conversation turned to why God made me like I was. Now she isn't a Christian but she knows of my childhood. She stated quite clearly that if I hadn't at least presented male and hid myself, I would never have made it out childhood.  My true identity was hidden so that I would live until tbe time I could be me.  I know she was right.
Now I volunteer helping victums of sexual assult.  This is the most rewarding thing I do.  I also know me, something most people nevet know.  I am true to me and true to God.  Two gifts that are worth more than all the pain I ever felt.
So.etimes we never know "why": why wasn't I born rich, or beautiful, or talented, or athletic or any other thing?  I was born this way so that I would come to know God through Christ.
Hugs
Jen
PS... would love to write more but I'm not that good on a cell phone.🤗