Rediscovering Pema

[Lori Dee ✅]

I was assigned massively annoying at birth

So that's what AMAB stands for!

🤣

And, no, you are not.

[Sephirah]

So that's what AMAB stands for!

🤣

And, no, you are not.

Well it is technically "Assigned Lauren At Birth." ALAB. Something no parent ever wants to go through

[Lilis]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies.

@Lilis, please know that when it comes to gender identity, you and I are in full agreement. Gender identity - or any identity for that matter - can only be reliably determined by the individual possessing it.

I can even agree that ultimately the terms "gender" and "gender identity" can be treated as equivalent. My gender is what I say it is; it is my gender identity.

Yay 😊, I'm so glad we're in full agreement on the heart of it.

Sorry for the late reply to this. Having read through it, Lilis and Pema you're saying the same thing.

Blame it on the semantics, lol 😂

However, Lilis is also right, that there's a fundamental difference between the gender you are assigned and the gender you identify with. The difference is the viewer, not the view. When you have never experienced what it feels like to feel disconnected from everything people are trying to force on you... you try to force it on everyone. Just because you think that is how it is.

You are both saying the same thing.

Lauren, thank you for this, it's so beautifully put together and said.

As you so clearly put it, there's a fundamental difference between that externally imposed gender (the viewer's framework) and the internal gender identity (our own deepest sense of self). The David Reimer case is a heartbreaking illustration of exactly that distinction.

To say you are assigned a gender at birth isn't wrong. Because it's what people do who think everyone should behave a certain way. But to say that this is the gender someone is, isn't necessarily correct because not everyone feels that way. Both things happen and that's why trans people exist.

This is awesome and beautiful to see it aligned perfectly, thanks Lauren and Pema for this conversation, love you both ❤️💋

I was assigned massively annoying at birth because I never stopped crying. I hope that isn't true now. Unless you put certain movies in front of me, lol. I still probably am massively annoying

Oh, stop it you're still crying nonstop, hehe! 💋

~ Lilis 🌷

[Pema]

I had my first (face) electrolysis appointment today. It was ostensibly a consultation, but she dived right in. In about 15 minutes, she did an area about the size of a dime (a circular cm) on my chin, just below the right corner of my mouth. I was surprised by how little it hurt compared to laser.

I've scheduled an hour for next week. She recommended weekly sessions, so I guess I'll go for that.

Before going home, I stopped at the food co-op for a few essentials. There, I saw a checker that I've known for many years but haven't seen for at least a year. He greeted me with, "Hi, <old_name>! How are you?" To which I said, "Well, I'm not <old_name> anymore..." After catching him up very quickly, he was super-supportive, said he wasn't terribly surprised and that he himself is polygender. Then he changed my name on my membership. As I left, he said, "Welcome to being you!"

[Charlotte_Ringwood ✅]

Congratulations, that's the start of something great for sure. So glad that it was mostly painless too!

Each step towards where you want to be always feels good!

Charlotte 😻