Anna, finally but not yet final.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Anna, I really love your thought process and how you have been progressing.

The one thing I would caution you about is questioning whether to continue with therapy. I've felt the same way many times. I've got this. I was a certified hypnotherapist. I know how to handle these things. Until you don't.

Even when things are going well, it is good to just sit and chat with someone who knows you well. I have spent many sessions with my psychologist just discussing press-on nails, polish, and hairstyles. Don't dismiss the value of that. It isn't the typical "therapy session," but it is no less therapeutic.

I started therapy in 2017 and have changed therapists from social workers (LCSW) to a team of PhD psychologists throughout that time. They know me well enough that even when I seem to have things under control, they sense something beneath the surface, and we discuss it. I have never regretted it.

The few times I stopped going (because of cost) caused me to slip a bit. Then starting over with a new therapist meant rehashing old ground. I am still in therapy now, but because I am handling things well, I no longer need to see the therapist every two weeks to a month. Now I see her every few months, and then it is like catching up with a friend.

Another suggestion that I make to couples is to invite your spouse to meet your therapist. Maybe let her sit in on one of your sessions. This lets them get answers to their questions without relying on you. It's a kind of third-party validation. The other benefit is that you get to hear the questions she asks, so you know what is on her mind about the situation. That can help you help her, and vice versa.

Just something to consider.

[Finally Anna]

Lori! As always, I value your advice, your experience. 💕
I think I will not stop therapy. For the exact reasons you mention, that it is a place where I can talk freely without ANY considerations about other people. I have a session each month, or every five weeks, or so.
And my wife has mentioned that sitting in at a session could be something to think about. My therapist has also mentioned that. So, it will probably happen.

And @Northern Star Girl I will not eject from Susan's, and I will continue to do my self-therapy in here. Writing about my thoughts and experiences. Reading about others' thoughts and experiences. Getting advice and other viewpoints from people whom I can rely on to know about these things. Feeling a kind of connection and friendship, even though it is not f2f.

💕

[Finally Anna]

Today.

Wife: Are those jeans new, I don't think I've seen them before?
Me: Yes, they are new.
W: It's unusual to see you in tight-ish jeans, you used to have more loosely fitting ones. Are those women's jeans?
(the jeans are straight-leg, but tight around thighs due to muscle volume)
M: Yes, they are.
W: I thought so, the model looks a bit woman-ish.

M: We should go and shop clothes, for that gift card I got.
W: Sure, but is is more difficult to shop clothes now that you not really want men's clothes.
M: Yes, I know, but androgynous is my style now.

No fuzz, no emotion, neither "nice jeans" nor "I don't like them". Very neutral. I guess that is positive, in some sense.

[Mariah ✅]

Congrats on the new jeans. I love the higher jeans to. Hugs
Mariah