Tammy's Crazy Ambitions (Sponsored by Self-Doubt)

[tammy753]

Hmmm there's definitely something wrong with you Tammy, best check in with your GP, pickles are awesome lol! Gerkins, piccalli, Branston Pickle, pickled cabbage, pickled ginger, pickled beetroot and pickled onions mmmmmm! I draw the line at pickled eggs though, that is a step too far!

Ok, maybe we aren't related. 🤣

My brain is not fogged out today. I moved my medication to 1:00 PM yesterday, and 8:00 PM tonight, that will be its new time. Its side effects should wear off while I sleep. I might need to go back to 6:00 AM if I find people too intolerable—not understanding people might be better than hearing the verbal garbage that spews from their faces.

My couch must not be thirsty anymore; I haven't given it any more to drink. It isn't as purple as I had hoped, so maybe it needs more slushie, TBD.

I don't know what I am supposed to write in a blog, so this is what you get.

I don't care what Sarah says. Pickles are gross! Don't listen to her, she is CRAAAAAZZZZYYYY.
It's Friday and the sun is shining, so I will need to crawl into bed and hide under the blankets. I don't want to burst into flames like a vampire.

I am making stuff up to write, is that obvious? You can go and rethink your decision to read this. Remember regretting reading my post is a you problem not a me problem.

[davina61]

I just write what ever I have been up to, it helps unclutter my mind.

[Stottie Girl]

Ok, maybe we aren't related. 🤣

My brain is not fogged out today. I moved my medication to 1:00 PM yesterday, and 8:00 PM tonight, that will be its new time. Its side effects should wear off while I sleep. I might need to go back to 6:00 AM if I find people too intolerable—not understanding people might be better than hearing the verbal garbage that spews from their faces.

My couch must not be thirsty anymore; I haven't given it any more to drink. It isn't as purple as I had hoped, so maybe it needs more slushie, TBD.

I don't know what I am supposed to write in a blog, so this is what you get.

I don't care what Sarah says. Pickles are gross! Don't listen to her, she is CRAAAAAZZZZYYYY.
It's Friday and the sun is shining, so I will need to crawl into bed and hide under the blankets. I don't want to burst into flames like a vampire.

I am making stuff up to write, is that obvious? You can go and rethink your decision to read this. Remember regretting reading my post is a you problem not a me problem.

well, yeah maybe I am a little bit 🤣 and I do own a cat so could be a crazy cat lady!

It's good news about the brain fog though.

Your blog is there for you, use it however you want. You don't need to entertain us! Maybe be don't be as whingey as me though ha ha!

When you say Slushie are you talking about those cups of crushed ice with nuclear coloured syrup on them?

[tammy753]

well, yeah maybe I am a little bit 🤣 and I do own a cat so could be a crazy cat lady!

It's good news about the brain fog though.

Your blog is there for you, use it however you want. You don't need to entertain us! Maybe be don't be as whingey as me though ha ha!

When you say Slushie are you talking about those cups of crushed ice with nuclear coloured syrup on them?

Yep they have a food dye in them, with colors that can't exist in nature and probably contain enough chemicals to preserve you for 1000 years. But they are soo yummy so worth it!

Yeah The Brain fog is mostly gone. Its good for my not so good for my coworkers. I don't take things seriously and might, totally, curse to much. I would feel bad for them but they are being paid to tolerate me and they can hang up when ever they want.

[tammy753]

I don't feel like talking today, I am usually like this if I spent a lot of time on the phone for work. I am not sure what causes that but I think I need to just recover.

So that is all took my pills on schedule still having issues grinding my teeth, Lexapro side affect. I would write something funny because I love to make people laugh but I am not up to it today.

[Maid Marion]

I had trouble with teeth grinding from stress at work.

Spending a lot of time on the phone can be stressful work!

[Stottie Girl]

I don't feel like talking today, I am usually like this if I spent a lot of time on the phone for work. I am not sure what causes that but I think I need to just recover.

So that is all took my pills on schedule still having issues grinding my teeth, Lexapro side affect. I would write something funny because I love to make people laugh but I am not up to it today.

You're just talked out Tammy. I can get like that if the phones have been going nuts. It's just normal.

Chill baby, enhance your calm!

[tammy753]

I decided to take yesterday off from computers I needed to disconnect. I ended up resting all day I think I am suffering from extreme burn out. I never seem to recover on the weekends. I am going to talk to my therapist about it but I needed to just not talk to anyone through any form yesterday.

[tammy753]

So today was therapy. We talked about telling my brother. She didn't tell me what to do, but she thinks it's holding me back.

I told her about my dream—scroll up or over or where old posts go to die. She pointed out that it was about my past and when I didn't come out back in the '90s, and how I suppressed my true self for all those years. It also showed my strained relationship with my sister and my bad memories of my mother. I guess I never thought about all that when I thought about the dream.

On the plus side, Amazon has a deal on Kleenex so I am saving $1 on 4 boxes. That should get me through 1 or 2 more sessions. On that note, does anyone else cry through their nose first? I swear I have tear ducts in there or maybe my brain is sweating when she digs into my past. Either way, I should invest money in Kleenex.

Sorry, no joke again today—just a ton of tears and spent Kleenex. Are they recyclable? That would be gross.
I love paying someone to make me cry like a baby, it's so awesome.

[Stottie Girl]

So today was therapy. We talked about telling my brother. She didn't tell me what to do, but she thinks it's holding me back.

I told her about my dream—scroll up or over or where old posts go to die. She pointed out that it was about my past and when I didn't come out back in the '90s, and how I suppressed my true self for all those years. It also showed my strained relationship with my sister and my bad memories of my mother. I guess I never thought about all that when I thought about the dream.

On the plus side, Amazon has a deal on Kleenex so I am saving $1 on 4 boxes. That should get me through 1 or 2 more sessions. On that note, does anyone else cry through their nose first? I swear I have tear ducts in there or maybe my brain is sweating when she digs into my past. Either way, I should invest money in Kleenex.

Sorry, no joke again today—just a ton of tears and spent Kleenex. Are they recyclable? That would be gross.
I love paying someone to make me cry like a baby, it's so awesome.

Aw sorry Tammy, sending you some transatlantic hugs!

Crying is all part of the healing process though.

Did you come to a conclusion about telling your brother?

[tammy753]

Aw sorry Tammy, sending you some transatlantic hugs!

Crying is all part of the healing process though.

Did you come to a conclusion about telling your brother?

Not yet. I wrote the letter a month ago. Part of me wants to get it over with and another part of me is afraid of ruining that relationship. I have pushed almost everyone away and he is the only family I talk to at this point so I am scared to tell him.

[Stottie Girl]

I can sypathise, I know how scary it is I have not dared tell my father yet for fear of loosing him. I'm not looking forward to that conversation! I have no brothers or sisters so it's just my parents and 1 friend. The risk of ending up totally alone is high which makes me very scared.

[tammy753]

So, not a lot to say again. I have an assignment from my therapist to do a four-quadrant decision thing about telling my brother while he is here. I am currently putting it off because it's emotionally exhausting to think about that. I think I am back in school and will be doing my homework the night before it's due.

Not feeling great. I won't go into it too much, but I am no longer counting trips to the bathroom; I am counting the number of packages of toilet paper. You are welcome for the visual. Maybe I should use that to sleep at night instead of sheep. What kind of freak dreams about sheep anyway? Sorry if you are into sheep, I didn't think before I had that thought. What happens in the pasture stays in the pasture.

I found out I am also terrible with money. I like this singer named Danielle Nicole. She has a new album coming out Friday called Fireflies; I actually received my copies yesterday. Yep, I not only pre-ordered it, I pre-ordered the vinyl and CD signed combo. Then, in a master stroke of responsible spending, I pre-ordered it again. So, that is a nice gift for my brother when I see him. I didn't need groceries this month, right? I am not sure she would appreciate me promoting her album in a post about sheep, guess she should have paid me; lets keep that part between us.

So that is my update. I know it's a little boring, but there it is. If you have time tomorrow, check out the song "Soulside". It makes me feel good, maybe it will help you too.

I think this is where I write an open-ended question for people to reply to. Pretend like I have some amazing question you want to reply to, then do whatever you want—or at least give me a good eye roll. I am a Gen Xer; that is our love language.

I think I am getting the hang of this blog thing, before you know it I will have 1's of reader.

[Stottie Girl]

I'm still here Tammy lol! I love your self deprecating humour, it would fit right in over here in england!

You still buy vinyl! nice! I haven't bought it for ages but I have over 300 12"s 7"s and albums sitting next to me here. I miss going into the record shops and flicking through the collections. A lot of thrift shops sell classic vinyl now. I think I should start having a nosey and get some classics. I need a record player though. I sold my Technics 1210 about 10 years ago. I have seen some retro inspired teak players that might link to my Sonos system, might invest in that. I'm on the lookout for a 70's vintage media unit to put the player on too.

I have lived most of my life with aphantasia (no minds eye) so never understood the whole counting sheep thing. I thought it was something Welsh people did lol!

[Lori Dee ✅]

@tammy753

I love your humor too.

Maybe you should pre-order some toilet paper?

Wiped out: US faces surging toilet paper prices amid trade war with Canada
Paper products among hardest-hit sectors after trade negotiations broke down, with 25-50% tariffs estimated

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/26/paper-product-toilet-paper-tariffs-us-canada 🔗

Thanks for the visuals.
🤣

[tammy753]

ou still buy vinyl! nice! I haven't bought it for ages but I have over 300 12"s 7"s and albums sitting next to me here. I miss going into the record shops and flicking through the collections. A lot of thrift shops sell classic vinyl now. I think I should start having a nosey and get some classics. I need a record player though. I sold my Technics 1210 about 10 years ago. I have seen some retro inspired teak players that might link to my Sonos system, might invest in that. I'm on the lookout for a 70's vintage media unit to put the player on too.

I have spent a family sedan on Vinyl, I mostly collect signed albums. I started collecting when I went to a Blues Festival where Danielle Nicole was playing way back before my agoraphobia kicked in. I mostly just buy new releases these days but I have some pretty valuable ones too. I have been buying CDs before most people even knew they were a thing so I have a massive collections. I like to listen to albums over singles.

Maybe you should pre-order some toilet paper?

Wiped out: US faces surging toilet paper prices amid trade war with Canada
Paper products among hardest-hit sectors after trade negotiations broke down, with 25-50% tariffs estimated

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/26/paper-product-toilet-paper-tariffs-us-canada 🔗 🔗

Good Call!!! I am looking to have a truck full delivered later this week. That should get me through the current crisis, I hope. 🤣

[Sarah B ✅]

Hi Tammy

I have been around Susan's for awhile and that is one of the most self deprecating, funny and humorous introductions that I have ever read it was a piece de resistance of ones life.  You are correct in what you wrote is right.  I don't know how I missed this blog.

Just to let you know if you want evidence of what you wrote, there is a function or button titled "print" where you can get a print out on screen of the blog page you are on and then of course you can copy and paste and print it out for the contentment of your therapist.

Now I'm going back to read the rest of the blog.

Once again brilliant Introduction to your blog.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@tammy753

[tammy753]

I don't know how I missed this blog.

I am guessing you have good taste and judgment.

Now I'm going back to read the rest of the blog.

Ok, so maybe not, remember I wrote this no one is forcing you to read it....wait blink twice if you are tied up and they have taped your eyes open.

Never mind I am ok with captive readers.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Ok, so maybe not, remember I wrote this no one is forcing you to read it....wait blink twice if you are tied up and they have taped your eyes open.

Never mind I am ok with captive readers.

🤣🤣🤣

Be careful tying up Sarah B. She is Down Under, so all the blood will rush to her head. 🙃