Hello I'm Philippa

[PhilippaRees]

About 4 weeks ago, at the age of 61, I reacted to a very stressful situation by suddenly wanting to crossdress to escape it. Why my brain chose that way to escape I have no idea, but I am not actually surprised, the clues were there had I been looking. I had no idea I was hiding it.

I presented as female for two weeks, during which time I never felt more safe or more right.

I am exploring the possibility that I am trans and not just crossdressing, as I feel a lot happier than I have done for a very long time.

[Sephirah]

Welcome to the site, sweetie. You are safe and welcome here.

Some folks will be along shortly to give you the do's and don'ts of the site, but let me say thank you for introducing yourself to us and... you will find a bunch of people who can relate to you. <3 Jump in and make yourself at home, okay?

[Pema]

Hi, Philippa. Welcome to the community.

It must just be that age. I emerged from nowhere at the age of 61 last year.

I'm so glad you feel safe and happy. I hope that you'll feel comfortable continuing to explore this aspect of yourself.

Again, welcome!

[Susan ✅]

Philippa,

Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm glad you found us.

First — what you're describing is more common than you might think. In the trans community, there's actually a term for this moment — it's called your "egg cracking." It's that point where something you've been carrying without knowing it finally breaks through to the surface. Stress doesn't *create* something that isn't there. What it often does is crack open a door that's been held shut for a long time. You said yourself the clues were there. Stress didn't invent those clues. It just finally gave you permission to look at them.

The fact that you felt safe and right when you presented as female — that's worth sitting with. Crossdressing as pure escape tends to relieve the stress and then lose its pull when the stress passes. What you're describing sounds different. You're not describing relief from something. You're describing arrival at something. Those are very different experiences.

You're 61, and I want to say something about that directly: there is no expiration date on self-discovery. Many of us here came to this later in life. Some much later. The door opens when it opens, and the only thing that matters is what you do once you're standing in front of it.

You don't need to have answers right now. You don't need to decide anything on a timeline. What you're doing — exploring, being honest with yourself, reaching out — that's exactly the right pace. There's no rush and there's no test.

Take a look around the forums. You'll find others here who came to this in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. You are not alone in this, and you are not late.

We're glad you're here, Philippa.

With Love and Support!
— Susan 💜

[Sarah B ✅]

Hi Phillipa

My name is Sarah and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

Thank you for sharing something so personal.  It takes courage to speak openly about experiences like this and you should know that doing so shows real strength.  Sometimes stressful moments bring hidden feelings to the surface and that can be confusing, so if you want to understand why this happened it may help to talk with a therapist who can guide you through it calmly and without judgement.

It is also important to remember that there is nothing wrong with cross dressing.  Many people explore clothing or expression in different ways and it does not mean anything is wrong with them.  What matters most is how you feel inside.  If presenting as female brought you a sense of safety and peace then that feeling deserves to be respected while you explore what it means for you.

Take your time with this.  You do not need to rush to any label.  The most important thing is learning what helps you feel comfortable and happy with yourself.  That is always a worthwhile path to follow.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in other forums.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com or me at SarahatSusans@proton.me

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@PhilippaRees


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[Stottie Girl]

A big hello from me Philippa.

Nice to have you with us.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Hello Philippa,

Welcome to Susan's Place!

We are happy that you have joined us and look forward to getting to know you, as much as you are comfortable sharing.

Feel free to browse the forums and add your experiences too. We all learn from each other.

[Rochelle]

Welcome Philippa, you are welcome and we are happy you found us here.  💚

[Alana Ashleigh]

Hi Philippa

Glad you're here

Alana