First, I'm a science person who despises my nation's antiquated awkward measurement system. In fact, I despise my nation.
I'm always happy to discuss gender journeys with you, Petunia. I have many journals, reflections, and timelines as I try to understand it.
This weekend a former student from 30 years ago is visiting. He's like a son to me and it's causing me to feel like I'm taking steps backward. The roots between are strong and old, and anchor that is hard to cast off and eminently male. His enduring name for me from my teaching days is Mr. F. He's never called me anything else.
I saw him a few months ago in a casual outdoor setting, dressed androgynously. This time I was more feminine. He liked surprised, said I was looking good and "styling".
He's hard to come out to, though I'm still showing up pretty femme. When I'm with him I feel more male and it's confusing and almost painful. He would fully accept me as Krista. That's not the issue. But like my wife and birth children, it would feel like severing something that I treasure.
I know that's not true. I also know it kind of is.
I'm sorry, Petunia. I'm rambling on about myself. I had a sense you might relate. Then I just rambled.
I intentionally greeted him
