Name change: missed opportunity

[Emily LeGoth]

One of the things I've been struggling with is picking a new name.

I was invited to a party this afternoon where one of the guests was someone my approximate age, maybe younger by a little bit, who's recently come out as a trans man. The conversation shifted around to how he picked his new name and I missed an opportunity to jokingly ask around "Hey if I were a girl what would I call myself?" as a way of soliciting ideas from my community of friends. Might even have asked "Hey, mind if I borrow your deadname since you're not using it any more?" (That kind of joke would be totally in-bounds with this crowd. We all appreciate sarcasm and dark humor.)

I am not yet out to friends but when I finally do at least I'll have a supportive community. 🥰

[NancyDrew1930]

Picking a name is difficult and takes time.  I didn't announce what name I was going to choose when I first came out, since I was still trying to figure out the meaning behind the name that I wanted to use to present to the world. 

[ChrissyRyan]

I have taken a feminine version of my given first name.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I struggled with that too.

I finally settled on a phonetic version of my given name. You'll know it when you can look in the mirror, call yourself that name, and it fits and you feel good being called that name.

[ChrissyRyan]

I struggled with that too.

I finally settled on a phonetic version of my given name. You'll know it when you can look in the mirror, call yourself that name, and it fits and you feel good being called that name.

You have a nice name.  It sounds good.

[Stottie Girl]

I had ummed and ahhed about various names, I was quite partial to Isla, Chloe and Sophie personally but when I came to Susans, Sephirah (Lauren) asked me what my name was and I immediately answered Sarah Louise. When my mum was pregnant with me she was totally convinced that I was a girl. She had picked out that name for me and when I was born she suddenly had to scramble to pick a male name as it never occured to her I would have been born a boy. She has reminded me of that all through my life so my name kind of picked itself, partly to honour my mum and partly because I feel it was the name I should have been given in the first place.

I do find Isla, Chloe and Sophie to be nicer names really but Sarah Louise just seems right.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I just saw the name Charlotte and liked it. A couple of days later just decided it was right. Like most things with me, impulsive and just go with it!

I didn't want to just use the female version of my dead name Christopher.

[KristaFairchild]

This is the sort of thing I would normally struggle with. Research, conversations, memories...months. 

Oddly for me, my name just came to me. It has stuck. 

[Liz K]

I disliked every part of my deadname.  There was no way I was going to choose a name I didn't like.  Yes, I struggled for a while too.

My first name was easy.  I've always loved 'Elizabeth' and 'Liz' was a no-brainer.  My middle and last names though....ugh.  It took weeks.  

Part of the issue was honoring my French and Greek heritage while preserving my privacy.  Then there was the difficulty of finding names that were easy to spell and pronounce.  I chose a French variation of a common given name.  But there aren't many Greek surnames that are easy to spell and pronounce.  I eventually settled on one that I liked.  And no, I won't tell y'all what it is.  Liz K will do just fine!