Invisibility of trans men & non-binary folks

[Asche]

Just about any place I look about transgender issues or folks, or any news I see about transgender stuff, seems to be almost entirely by or about binary trans women.

Yet the latest trans survey showed roughly equal numbers of trans masculine, non-binary, and trans feminine people.  And my real-life experiences suggest that there are a lot of trans men and non-binary people out there.

I can understand why the haters focus on trans women -- their existence is a threat to Teh Patriarchy, in a way that trans men are not.  But I also don't see them represented among posters on trans websites or as bloggers, or as authors or protagonists on story sites, or in other trans-friendly spaces:  I can't help wondering why this is.  Is it:

• They're out there, but I'm just looking in the wrong places.  Is there a "dark web" for trans guys and enbies, not open to anybody else.  Do I need to learn the secret handshakes?
• Trans men and enbies don't feel the need to write or talk about their lives or perspectives?  (Guys are supposed to be strong and silent, ya know.)
• They don't feel welcome in the usual trans spaces; there are definitely on-line places which are ostensibly friendly to them, but where non-AMAB voices are routinely drowned out.  Even in the F2M spaces here at Susans, the threads I've looked at contain mostly posts from trans femmes.

For that matter, even in trans femme spaces, the discussions seem skewed towards "I was always a woman" perspectives and trying to be 1000% feminine.

[Maid Marion]

It is the difficulty of passing as a trans-woman that makes us the most visible target.

I know from experience as a short AMAB that short guys are just as invisible as older women, perhaps more so.  Which means that short trans masculines are also invisible.

What I find surprising is that despite my thinning gray hair, I have yet to fade into invisibility.
I have a petite hourglass figure that looks young enough to constantly attract attention.
People watching while waiting for your meal in restaurants.  It is easy to see who people look at.

Marion

[ChrissyRyan]

It is the difficulty of passing as a trans-woman that makes us the most visible target.
...
Marion

That likely has a lot to do with it.

[Asche]

It is the difficulty of passing as a trans-woman that makes us the most visible target.

This may affect how much mainstream media and politicians make a fuss over them.  But I'm not sure what that has to do with the (apparent) silence of trans masculine and non-binary folks.  I don't see how it explains why so few post here or on story websites.

I do know that a number of non-binary folks refuse to call themselves "trans" because of the ill-treatment they've received from binary trans people.

[Jillian-TG]

That likely has a lot to do with it.

I believe so. It's the visual aspect that is the big issue with lots of the transphobes. Society has its beauty standards and most trans women don't measure up. Men on the other hand are not generally subjected to grooming standards for their looks. Guys can just be themselves while women have a standard to maintain.

We live in a world of double standards.
- women have a standard to meet and most trans women don't meet it
- men don't have a standard to meet so most trans men are ok.

[Karen_A]

But I'm not sure what that has to do with the (apparent) silence of trans masculine and non-binary folks

Have you met any FTMs on testosterone for 5 or 10 years. In general they can "pass'a LOT better than most MTFs as typically the physical changes are much more significant going that way... and that has an affect on how many WANT/NEED to vocal/visible I think.

I know if I was reliably invisible as a MTF, my whole life would have been very different.

- Karen

[Karen_A]

I do know that a number of non-binary folks refuse to call themselves "trans" because of the ill-treatment they've received from binary trans people.

Just another variation on an age old story

When I was was transitioning way back when, I got a lot of flack for staying married from "before" (this was before same sex marriage BTW) from those who gave up everything from before to transition... Even post-op I go called a skin TV for it.

It all comes from either insecurity or needing their path validated, or differentiating themselves from those they thought were hurting the ability of others to assimilate fully (back then).

[bellesparkles]

But I also don't see them represented among posters on trans websites or as bloggers, or as authors or protagonists on story sites, or in other trans-friendly spaces:  I can't help wondering why this is.

I'm not online much, so I don't know about story sites, but I do know that the publisher I write for has two trans men authors vs. zero trans women authors. So as far as I know, they're definitely out there. (You were not asking for recommendations, so I won't bore you with their book titles with trans man protagonists. Just saying that thankfully they do exist )

I'm sure you're correct though, and trans men/non binary people are under represented in the public view. Very likely because of the visibility/passability reasons already mentioned.
Personally I think our feminist friends in the 20th century did a lot of work, causing society to now be slightly less critical of "women wanting to dress as men" than it still is of "men wanting to dress as women". Which in turn results in trans men maybe not needing to be as open about it? Idk, I'm just guessing here.