clothing selection help

[cyanide]

ok. so it turns out that my doctor lady is a little worried about not making enough progress in my wardrobe - ie not dressing girl clothes enough. and is wondering about my committment.


given that i do not have much taste/idea of current fashion and it is quite difficult for me to start out right away with pair of skirts and spaghetti strap (not trying to be sterotypical, but just exaggerating a bit), a friend suggested that i go androgyney first hand but more towards femenine style.
ie wear girl jeans but less embrodary and not as tight, wear shirts that girls might wear, etc.

even that, i have difficult distinguishing between a guy's and a girl's jeans. let along anything else.
was wondering if anyone can lend a hand about what i should pick and what to wear, what not to wear (avoid suspicion). i mean, there HAS to be some suttle difference right?

anyways, i guess i just need suggestion not just in jeans, but any other appeals that are appropriate.


thanks in advance

[Nero]

I agree with your friend. Concentrate on shopping in the female section. Start buying the type of clothes you always wear but made for women.

[Nicky]

Often the difference is just the cut of the clothing when your talking about basics like jeans and T's and shorts. If you try some on you will see what I mean.

My advise is to just go for whatever you think looks good on you or takes your fancy. This is all anyone does. As long as you dress age appropriate I don't think you can go too far wrong. I would suggest doing some people watching to get an idea of what other women are wearing, look in catalogues and look at how outfits are put together. If you have some girlfriends they will be your best help.

I would go for stuff you can mix and match e.g. jeans, skirts, and various tops. That way you can make the most of a limited wardrobe.

[deviousxen]

I agree with your friend. Concentrate on shopping in the female section. Start buying the type of clothes you always wear but made for women.

I think I'm wearing a pink waffle-long sleeved shirt...

I figured it might go with something, but its not REALLY my color per se.

I dk. Maybe I like playing around with my wardrobe more now that I'm free to do so XD.

But I'm mostly for that dystopian future look. Like... I have a jacket thats a bit between Clerks, Pirate like, and Future Trunks' Capsule Corp jacket. Its pretty awesome and I'm going to get a feminine one when I can, I swear. That can be my birthday present.

I'm aiming for something between a lot of styles I suppose... D:

OH clothes...

Once I learn how to use a sewing machine I will be the Queen of Chemical Plant Zone. :3

Yeah. Feel free to play around with stuff you weren't able to wear pre-transition and girliness, but don't lose yourself I suppose.

[Zelane]

First of all what its your age range?

And second I think your friend advice its quite good. It mostly depends on where you live and your age. Jeans and some tops (spaghetti or polo) sounds good.


What to avoid?

Hmm maybe at this moment, heels and mini skirts that are too much mini :p

[paulault55]

I agree with everyone else about age appropriate clothing, Go to the mall and observe what others are wearing that's what i did. I don't know how many sessions you have had but when i started i just came as him for the first couple then started dressing a little more at each session till now i go as Paula, my therapist never once asked me to dress i did it on my own. I know there are others here that will disagree with me but i don't think you should feel pressured to wear womens's clothes yet if you don't feel comfortable. Women's jeans and women's Reboks is what i started with then added a wig, top and makeup. I usually have to wait in the waiting room for a few minutes and others there never give me a second glance. I see alot of young women wearing hoodies, i live in Cleveland and it gets pretty cold these days. So women's jeans a hoodie and Reboks or Nike type shoes would look ok depending on where you live.

Paula.

[cyanide]

thanks, everyone, for the support and suggestions.
honestly after i pressed the submit button, i figured that i was asking a rhetorical question...
sometimes the clothes look so similiar, i just don't understand what defines what?

as for what i am getting.....if anything, my preference kind of turn towards goth and emo    (then again, pulling it off is another question. what look good on a gGIRL on magazine, doesn't necessary transfer).

i am close to 30 y.o now.. but i think i can still fancy the jeans and shirts. so, i think that will be what i aim for.
mind you that i am not tall and do not have legs like a broomstick as many teenagers are like out there.
skirts and fancy top are out of the question now.

i will be shopping tomorrow and definatly will do my research!

thanks again!

[MeghanAndrews]

ok. so it turns out that my doctor lady is a little worried about not making enough progress in my wardrobe - ie not dressing girl clothes enough. and is wondering about my commitment.

OMG, commitment to what? This is scary, very 70's-Johns-Hopkinsish. I know you were exaggerating about the skirt and spaghetti straps, but it's a scary thought to say the least.

I'd suggest finding a comfort level with androgyny, see how that works for you.

Ideas, I don't know...muted earth tones, flared jeans, layering your shirts so you can see the bottom layer(long, thin girl shirt underneath and hoodie over it or a long-sleeved t over it), girl cardigans, get your eyebrows thinned out, both ears pierced with girlish studs (little flowers or something) in them, girl shoes, girl socks, start wearing your hair a little differently....

the point here is to get people used to seeing a different you. break them in now. are you out to them? where are you in transition? use this stage to come out..."why do you look like a girl?" 'well, i'm glad you asked, you have a few hours...' then talk and answer questions. By the time you go full time, everyone will know and it will hopefully be a little seamless. Slowly start to shift your wardrobe from guy clothes to girl clothes and get to the point where there isn't ANY place you'd wear guy clothes because that's how full time is.

anyway, just some of the things that worked for me. i did all that and took a year to go full time. it was at my pace and comfortable for me, especially coming out. it got to the point where when i told people, it...just...made...sense...i hope this helps you meghan

[cyanide]

[quote auhor=MeghanAndre]
deas, I don't know...muted earth tones, flared jeans, layering your shirts so you can see the bottom layer(long, thin girl shirt underneath and hoodie over it or a long-sleeved t over it),
[/quote]

that's a nice idea...

I won't even read the responses to this thread! lol

To me the answer is simple, you wear what yiou like! Don't wear women's clothing if it doesn't suit you, wear what YOU want to wear!

What make you feel good, what makes you comfortable?
What appeals to YOU?
That's what makes you who you are.

i am comfortable wearing male and female clothings. but i know what you mean about comfortablity(sp). and thus, i don't find the spaghetti-strap and miniskirt appealing. i can wear it but i don't feel it.

i know all about this i have to be ME type of idea. And, i am well aware of that, if i don't feel comfortable, no most-ultra-feminine-clothings in the whole wide world will make me a woman; but, i also think that there are a lot of consideration i should put in. Being ME is just not enough...


--
sidenote: my doctor lady was pretty nice actually, i understand her consideration and she is by no means the "traditional" type in way of treatment. honestly, if you look at my pic, you'll understand what she meant.

[JENNIFER]

EVOLVE. It takes time to find your own style but the best tip I can offer is to dress to be as comfortable as possible and be at ease wearing because there are more important matters in life.

[Janet_Girl]

For me it is all about jeans, cute tops and tees.  Winter it is sweaters.  I have a few skirts, a couple of little black dresses ( should I ever go out on the town ).  But where I work it is jeans and tees.  Most of the women who come in the store wear the same thing.

It is all about what is age appropriate and what you like.  Color wise, try different things.  I have found and been told that greens are my color.  So what else would you expect from an Irish girl.

Janet

[Nigella]

I think over time you will find out what works and what doesn't work for you and you will get your own style. I know some things don't work for me like full length woollen dresses I just look awful so mostly I buy tops, trousers and skirts (only short or long) and even with skirts I don't look good in medium length skirts. That's to do with the shape of my legs, or more to the point, knee, lol. 

ALL the above advice and look and scrutinise what other women are wearing, how they have put together certain items, etc.

hugs

Stardust 

[Zelane]

Just remember choosing flattering clothes has a lot to do with how your body is. But also you can just forget that and experiment.

[Anne_lifetrip]

Hello girls, so before opening a new topic a small search has showed me that there is a similar line from before.

So I wanted to share my evolution on clothing, because I am finding it very interesting.

When I started my reaffirmation and was certain that I wanted to transition, I would look for the most feminine clothes I could find. I would try to show that I was more a woman than any other, using skirts and all the feminine cliches that you can think of.

After some time, I was confident on my decision and continued with voice training, long hair and HRT my desire to dress so girly started changing and didn't need to be so feminine all the time, just when I wanted.

Now, after some years, still during my transition, my underwear is femenine, but my outer clothes have gone to a more comfortable style, as Jennifer was saying here.

EVOLVE. It takes time to find your own style but the best tip I can offer is to dress to be as comfortable as possible and be at ease wearing because there are more important matters in life.

This doesn't mean that every now and then I dress up, but I do it for myself and whenever I want.

I believe that as my confidence on myself increases, the need to show it of to the world decreases.
Now, at home, I use my leggings, sweatshirts and any other comfortable girl clothing, and when going outside, jeans and shirts are very usual...until summer, when I do enjoy dresses and skirts.

Has this happened to any of you?

Hugs Anne ❤️

[Stottie Girl]

I'm the same. I still like to dress up every now and then but the majority of the time I'm wearing skinny jeans, leggings or a long maxi skirt or dress with a slouchy top or big jumper.

As I have been trans all my life, I was dressing in my teens and younger years so I have gone through the mini skirts and mini dress stage when I was young, albeit in the closet!

Weirdly I feel dressing the way I do now is more affirming as this is how women dress all the time. It may be the HRT but I think I look more convincingly female too.

[Charlotte_Ringwood ✅]

I love leggings and a nice feminine sweatshirt for comfort. Or sometimes a cute t shirt, cardigan and baggy pants. I do love dresses though as I'm really into the cutesy look. Only avoid unisex or male clothing now as getting misgendered constantly is no fun!

Charlotte