Is it fair to him?

[KrisRenee]

Hey, I'm Aiden (I know my profile says Kristopher, that's my middle name), I'm FTM transsexual/transgender, I'm pre t, pre well,  everything.  I'm still in the closet except for a few people, namely, my best friend mikey and love, Jeremy.  He met me as Aiden, he doesn't know me as (birth name).  But I really do love him, and he says he loves me.  I have told him what my life will be like, when I'm out to more people, but he doesn't seem worried.  Right now, I'm still in every sense of the word, a girl.  Other than on the internet and with my friend Mikey, I'm not Aiden yet.  But Jeremy says he's along for the ride, I don't think it's fair to drag him along.  Any advice?

[Michael Joseph]

Why not? he met you as aiden, and you explained everything, and he still accepts you from what it sounds. Theres no reason to let go of that if you love eachother. what exactly do u mean by dragging him along?

[Squirrel698]

I agree with the other two.  If he's dating I assume he's old enough to think for himself.  So let him. 

If he says he wants to be with you, then just let him.  Live for the moment and today.  If complications arrive in time, you can deal with them then.  For now enjoy his company and have fun together.

[Sharky]

It's fair. He is choosing to be with you. It's not like he can't get off the ride if it gets too much for him. Do what Squirrel said and just have fun.

[FinnBear]

That's the same way I feel about my SO. We've been together 2.5 years and when we meet he met me as Finneus and I was out to everyone except a few family members. We've been through a LOT of ups and downs and all sorts of things but we're still together. I've always looked like a girl but acted like a boy but now I'm finally starting T and there are physical changes and he says he's in for the long haul but I wonder if he really knows what he's getting himself into.

Still I feel like if we've made it though the things we've made it through then we'll make it through this. Someone gave me a statistic that was something like "80% of relationships don't make it through transition.". Well that still leaves 20% and I love him enough that I'm not willing to give up on him as long as he's willing to be by my side. We had a big argument over how I was worried he was going to leave me and he told me that as long as I'm still me and don't act like an idiot he'll be by my side just like he always has been and he'll love me no matter how I look. For me that was enough reassurance.

If you've talked with your SO about it and he's willing to try and go through this with you then I say stick with it. Live in each day and each moment and take in the love and happiness. If something happens down the road worry about that then. As for now he loves you and he wants to try so take that for what it is and roll with it. Or atleast that's my two cents.

[some ftm guy]

yeah sounds like you wouldn't be dragging him along at all, sounds like he wants to stay knowing everything your getting into so i say let him stay.

[xAndrewx]

Yup, I agree with them. It's not like it's an awful horrible experience or anything man. If he wants to be with you and you want to be with him then go for it. Doesn't sound like you're dragging him at all. Congrats on finding a good man