The death of my soul goes unnoticed because of the plastered smile
That I have placed across my face while moving through this life
I'm a stranger in this world, I don't want to stay, not one more day
I have walked far more than I should have here, mile after long mile.
I know that many love and care, but that doesn't ease my soul's strife
You see, I still pray to die and very few know why, for a grave I pray.
Pain have I and tears plenty. Enough for a river I have cried inside.
I want an end; a darkness eternal, to sleep; to forget and never care.
I know God loves me, I know Jesus paid the fee, but I have to be free
From the cares of this world. Hopelessness, like a tide, washes over me.
I have done what I can here. There are few with whom I can share
Why I have this despair. For it is an end of this suffering that I plea.
I am caged in a body that should not be mine.
Bound by society with shackles unshined
Cornered by thoughts spinning in my head
I am certain that I would be better dead
All will be well when I can escape.
It's now or never; before courage breaks
To find the strength to make the strike
To feel the daggers cold steel bite.
I failed, I failed, I failed this time!
I couldn't drive that dagger deep
So I sit in my bathroom and I weep
I lacked the will for eternal sleep.
I beg that I won't falter next time!
I pray that God above will know
That I did my best here below
That I love him and his son so
Grant me strength to deal the blow.
I ask your forgiveness for all my sins
I pray that you will let me start again
But next time please make this right
And don't give me this awful plight
Just let me be the girl that I am inside
So I can live my life without the lies
That I have told to others and to me.
And please open the eyes of our society
God, Please let me die.
So that truly I can say
I lived my life your way
