posted on 15-Sep-2005 8:09:02 PM
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The closing monologue the other night on Bill Maher's show:
Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more.
There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that.
You can't start another war because you used up the army.
And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the
Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your
Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No
one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.
Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose
interest and walk away. Like you did with your military
service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's
time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How
about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're
saying: there's so many other things that you as President
could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know.
There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela.
Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space
program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie
Mae. Giving embryos the vote.
But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why?
Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed
so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a
medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert
Hoover was a >-bleeped-<ty president, but even he never conceded an
entire city to rising water and snakes.
On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the
surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the
Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not
lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm
just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the
other side.
So, yes, G-d does speak to you. What he is saying is:
'Take a hint.' "
